lulu1974

I have a question..Anyone have suggestions on how to best get his stuff back to him..He had movers here a few months ago for the furnitire but didnt take the boxes...I have a feeling that was because he wanted excuses to come back. He was supposed to come one time but I found out about the cheating the night before and I didnt want to see him because I didnt trust myself. Since then he wants nothing to do with me and has blocked me from all contact which turned out to be a blessing. I no longer have a good relationship with his cousin and a few weeks ago he told me I was keeping his stuff from him. He will get the divorce papers this week. The lawyer told me to write him a letter with return receipt for him to pick his stuff up at the curb on a set day.
In a way..I want him no where near my house but I dont see anyway around it. Should I wait for him to get the divorce papers and then send the letter certified next week?

suki44883

This has been a popular subject around here lately. LOL!

I agree with your attorney. Move the boxes outside, preferably in a covered area and send a letter, now, return receipt requested giving him X number of days to pick up his stuff and that if it isn't picked up, you will dispose of it as you see fit. If you are adamant about him not being around your home, you could put all the stuff in a storage unit, pay the first month's rent, and send him the key and paperwork by mail, return receipt requested. That way, it's out of your hands and he'll have the key and can either keep up the storage payments or go get the stuff.

Taking5

I have an idea (but run it by your attorney). Send him a bill for storage fees and a notice that you will sell it if not paid by X date, just like a storage unit would. When he doesn't pay it, give it to goodwill, or to someone that needs it, or just take it to the dump.

lulu1974

ugh..the storage units around here are about $100 per month!! ugh. Maybe its worth it though. I can easily deduct it from our joint account. That I no longer use but he does.

suki44883

Good idea, but afterward, I'd also get out of that joint account. Take your name off that account and, if you haven't already, open one in your name only, preferably at a different bank.

lulu1974

Oh I have my own..I moved my half of our savings etc over the day he left. I kept my name on the joint account because we were goint to file jointly for taxes and the refund would be deposited there. But since he wants no contact I made my own tax appt and am filing separately.

Sometimes I think he thinks he is punishing me and is going to try to contact me but that wont work this time. Hence why I am trying to break all ties and get his crap out of here. I dont want to leave any doors open for this lowlife..

suki44883

Good for you! I'd still take my name off the joint account so you can't be held liable if he overdraws or anything else he might do.

Anyway, you might try leaving the boxes outside at first. Maybe he will pick them up, but if not, you could always do the storage unit, using the joint account to pay for the first month, and send him the key and the paperwork. If he doesn't keep the bill paid, he'll lose the stuff, or he could just go get it and cancel the contract. In any case, you'll be out of it and there won't be any reason for him to bother you again.

KeepPedaling

I had a guy friend of mine that my xabf knew and was on good terms with return his stuff to him. I feel pretty lucky about that.

If I were you, I get rid of that stuff as soon as possible. Put it on the curb.

DMC

I plan to ship the rest of STBXAH's stuff to him. When he went to rehab the last time, I sort of knew I needed a long break. I wasn't sure it would end in divorce, but that's how it's going to be.

My mother flew here and we loaded up all the stuff that would fit into his SUV and she drove it halfway across the country back to our hometown and left it with his parents, which was the plan for him after rehab. That way, when he talked about coming "home," I could honestly say, "You have no car here. You have no clothes or stuff here. You can't come here." It sure made that conversation easier.

There are a couple pieces of furniture, the seats from his SUV (had to cram it as full as I could!), his bikes, fishing and golf stuff... I plan to load up an ABF trailer or perhaps a POD (although those things are pricey) and ship it to him.

Him being halfway across the country is a blessing.