Weak moments and some random stuff
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
Weak moments and some random stuff
Its amazing in two weeks how far I have come as far as serenity. I was a crazy woman before that.
I have weak moments..I mean I miss him at times or maybe just the companionship. I say that because when I picture him..its never in a good light. Sadly we didnt have many good moments. We had a shell of a marriage.
That saddens me.
I am 35. My future of having babies and a family may or may not come true. I am glad I didnt have kids with him. But I pray I get that chance one day.
I am getting to know myself again. Crazy as it sounds, I dont know what I like to do anymore. I try to think of activities and not many appeal to me but with the warmer weather I hope to find something.
I may have sold my soul to the devil but I am taking it back because it was never for sale but stolen.
I know I am a good person but it scares me of how much I can react and become someone I dont know.
So begins the wonderful journey.
This Monday there will be no contact for two weeks and that makes me proud. I also think he will get the divorce papers this week. One door closes but a window opens.
I feel a bit alone but not uncomfortably so. I am trying out a new church tomorrow. I am building bridges.
This disease really did a number on me and its always been in my life. Starting with my father.
I hope to have a different story to tell one day. How I overcame this and tell you about my babies and family. One day at a time. My HP will take care of me. Thanks for listening.
I have weak moments..I mean I miss him at times or maybe just the companionship. I say that because when I picture him..its never in a good light. Sadly we didnt have many good moments. We had a shell of a marriage.
That saddens me.
I am 35. My future of having babies and a family may or may not come true. I am glad I didnt have kids with him. But I pray I get that chance one day.
I am getting to know myself again. Crazy as it sounds, I dont know what I like to do anymore. I try to think of activities and not many appeal to me but with the warmer weather I hope to find something.
I may have sold my soul to the devil but I am taking it back because it was never for sale but stolen.
I know I am a good person but it scares me of how much I can react and become someone I dont know.
So begins the wonderful journey.
This Monday there will be no contact for two weeks and that makes me proud. I also think he will get the divorce papers this week. One door closes but a window opens.
I feel a bit alone but not uncomfortably so. I am trying out a new church tomorrow. I am building bridges.
This disease really did a number on me and its always been in my life. Starting with my father.
I hope to have a different story to tell one day. How I overcame this and tell you about my babies and family. One day at a time. My HP will take care of me. Thanks for listening.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
My future of having babies and a family may or may not come true.
You don't know that.
Only ONE knows that ...
and it ain't us.
Don't fall into designing a negative bleak future.
It's okay to miss what never was
it's okay to feel bad that it didn't work out...
feelings are good ...
just let it stop short of self-pity.
Just a bit of direction hon... no judgement.
We've ALL been there.
You're not alone.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South Africa
Posts: 330
Originally Posted by lulu1974 
I hope to have a different story to tell one day. How I overcame this and tell you about my babies and family. One day at a time. My HP will take care of me. Thanks for listening.
Baby steps
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