Off topic -Lost a "friendship"
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Yeah transform, I'm that way too, my God I don't even remember my dad's bday...
And yes sometimes I isolate because of depression but other times I just miss MYSELF as MYSELF. Too much time spent on the roles of worker, decent citizen, girlfriend of, yadda yadda always someone defined in terms of something else....
You know there was another coworker that is funny and I like her..... the other day I invited her and someone else to have dinner...and she said "ok, if you pass the test we may arrange something else afterwards". Maybe it was a joke but it was enough for me to keep my distance. Test? WTF?
I don't know, sometimes my cats are soo much easier to relate to than human beings, LOL. And we are talking CATS here.
PS I also deleted the hi5 account entirely..
And yes sometimes I isolate because of depression but other times I just miss MYSELF as MYSELF. Too much time spent on the roles of worker, decent citizen, girlfriend of, yadda yadda always someone defined in terms of something else....
You know there was another coworker that is funny and I like her..... the other day I invited her and someone else to have dinner...and she said "ok, if you pass the test we may arrange something else afterwards". Maybe it was a joke but it was enough for me to keep my distance. Test? WTF?
I don't know, sometimes my cats are soo much easier to relate to than human beings, LOL. And we are talking CATS here.
PS I also deleted the hi5 account entirely..
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,287
Thanks for this thread TC, there's a lot here I can relate to as well.
This is about where I'm at......love me/like me for who I am.
I isolate & I haven't quite figured out why - although I'm working on it because I don't think its healthy for me and I want to own my part in it too.
I try to remember that I cannot live for expectations someone else has on me because I will usually fail. The best I can do is know what I can do - and not offer more. Still working on it though......I have several calls I "owe" friends right now.
The people I consider my true friends are the ones I can call - after months sometimes - and pick up right where we left off with no guilt or shame - without having to explain myself or them having to explain anything either. They accept me and love me - and I'm grateful to have them.
Originally Posted by transformyself 
Yes, you may have offended her. Did you mean to? You can apologize-ONCE-and move on. Then recognize that you don't want to be "friends" with someone when you don't both have the same view of friendship. The same needs or expectations. Don't beat yourself up. Don't be upset with her for not wanting to hang out with you. Acceptance is your friend!
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I isolate & I haven't quite figured out why - although I'm working on it because I don't think its healthy for me and I want to own my part in it too.
I try to remember that I cannot live for expectations someone else has on me because I will usually fail. The best I can do is know what I can do - and not offer more. Still working on it though......I have several calls I "owe" friends right now.
The people I consider my true friends are the ones I can call - after months sometimes - and pick up right where we left off with no guilt or shame - without having to explain myself or them having to explain anything either. They accept me and love me - and I'm grateful to have them.
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
The people I consider my true friends are the ones I can call - after months sometimes - and pick up right where we left off with no guilt or shame - without having to explain myself or them having to explain anything either. They accept me and love me - and I'm grateful to have them.
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
The good thing about all this is that I realized I miss my best friends, so I came to a Starbucks and I am writing to them! In fact I may be able to meet both of them in a few weeks! I am very excited...
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: UK and Australia
Posts: 447
I loved reading this thread! Its really interesting to see everyones thoughts. when I first read it my reaction was that she was definatly hurt about how you treated her previously...which I get so if you want the friendship as someone suggested above, you could apologise by saying "I am sorry if I hurt you previously, I was having a really bad time in my personal life and didn't always handle situations very well" or something similar, then the door is open if she wants to come in! however if you aren't bothered then I think just let it go.....which it sounds like you may have already done...and learn from the experience....and move on with friends that really are true friends...no tests to pass (WTF indeed??)....no expectations to meet just genuine true lovely friends. You are not on trial afterall!
Take care and keep us posted.....I love the delete button on facebook and actually haven't had a problem using it on occasions! (few and far between thank goodness). I don;t have to use it very often now as i am very selected who I accept friendships on on facebook to start with....so the best of luck and I look forward to hearing the next segment! take care Phiz
Take care and keep us posted.....I love the delete button on facebook and actually haven't had a problem using it on occasions! (few and far between thank goodness). I don;t have to use it very often now as i am very selected who I accept friendships on on facebook to start with....so the best of luck and I look forward to hearing the next segment! take care Phiz
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