Wife back after month in rehab. Talk about reliving the past.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
Persevere,
Try not to freak out. This is uncharted territory for you both.
Striking the balance (in our minds) of owning what you have done hurtful or harmful in the relationship - without taking too much responsibility for what's wrong - and naming what the spouse has done - without taking on the victim role....all important and difficult.
Of course you have done things that she feels are/were hurtful! Who hasn't. If she is truly "working it", you can accept this as her reality, deal with it and move on. Hanging on won't help and I hope she won't.
I think that Freedom has written some good things. It is all too easy to do some shifting on our own.
Take it all in, and keep doing what you're doing. You both need to heal and learn, and that takes TIME.
Try not to freak out. This is uncharted territory for you both.
Striking the balance (in our minds) of owning what you have done hurtful or harmful in the relationship - without taking too much responsibility for what's wrong - and naming what the spouse has done - without taking on the victim role....all important and difficult.
Of course you have done things that she feels are/were hurtful! Who hasn't. If she is truly "working it", you can accept this as her reality, deal with it and move on. Hanging on won't help and I hope she won't.
I think that Freedom has written some good things. It is all too easy to do some shifting on our own.
Take it all in, and keep doing what you're doing. You both need to heal and learn, and that takes TIME.
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