Codependent No More - Book Study: Chap. 6 - Don't Be Blown About By Every Wind
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Join Date: Apr 2008
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Codependent No More - Book Study: Chap. 6 - Don't Be Blown About By Every Wind
Link to Chapter 5: Detachment (and previous Chapters):
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2542699
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2542699
Codependent No More:
How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
By Melodie Beattie
Book Study
CHAPTER 6 - Don't Be Blown About By Every Wind
CHAPTER 6 - Don't Be Blown About By Every Wind
Chapter 7 Will go Up Friday Evening
Go ask the Multivax
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
Synposis (as best I can do one anyway):
Melonie explains that she, and many of us, are reactionaries. We react to other peoples problems, thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. We seem to have a strong reaction button to anything perceived as a crisis. Which, was almost everything. We often overreacted. We hid our panic letting it grow and grow until almost hysteria. At the same time, we would underreact when something was too significant, switching instead to denial (that one makes my head spin).
Codependents, she explains, typically react with anger, guilt, shame, self-hate, worry, hurt, controlling gestures, caretaking, depression etc... In a nutshell, we react with fear and anxiety.
This was in caps: "WE JUMP INTO THE FIRST FEELING THAT COMES OUR WAY AND WE WALLOW IN IT".
This also means we tend to say the first things that come into our heads and often regret them. We react without thinking. Our emotions are controlled by other people and environments. We have lost control of them. We are being controlled. Because of how we tend to react, we have given up our right to THINK. "We forfeit our right to feel peaceful at the whim of our environments. We are like a wisp of paper in a thunderstorm, blown about by every wind."
We react, she states, because we are anxious and afraid of what has happened, what might happen, and what is happening. Many of us have had many crisis situations making a reaction of crisis proportion a habit. Here's some words of her wisdom:
We don't have to be so afraid of people
We don't have to forfeit our peace
We don't have to forfeit our power to think and feel for anyone or anything
We don't have to take things so seriously (ourselves, events, or other people)
We don't have to take other people's behaviors as reflections of our own self worth
We don't have to take rejection as a reflection of our self worth
We don't have to take things so personally
We don't have to take little things personally either
"We don't have to react. We have options. That is the joy of recovery from codependency. Each time we excersize our right to choose how we want to think, act, feel, and behave, we feel better and stronger". It's about not losing our serenity. We need to also be aware that others know us and how to get us to react. We need to be aware that we do this to other people also. If we can harness some of those reactions. To do this, we use detachment.
Some suggestions on how to help us to detach:
1.) Learn to recognize when someone is pulling your strings
2.) Make yourself comfortable (do/say as little as possible, until there's some peace of mind).
3.) Examine what happend - Minor, maybe handle. Larger, get some outside support. Troubles and feelings go wild when we cage them in.
4.) Figure out what you need to do to take care of yourself
There was a lot in this chapter. I'm posting the synopsis for anyone who doesn't have a book. That doesn't mean I'm very good at it. So, if anyone else wants to add - PLEASE do!
Activities:
1.) Are you spending too much time reacting to something or someone in your environment? To who or what? How are you reacting? Is that how you would choose to behave or feel if you had a choice?
2.) Go through the listed steps for whatever or whoever is bothering you the most. If you need to talk to someone, select a trusted friend. If necessary, get professional help.
3.) What activities help you to feel peaceful and comfortable?
Melonie explains that she, and many of us, are reactionaries. We react to other peoples problems, thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. We seem to have a strong reaction button to anything perceived as a crisis. Which, was almost everything. We often overreacted. We hid our panic letting it grow and grow until almost hysteria. At the same time, we would underreact when something was too significant, switching instead to denial (that one makes my head spin).
Codependents, she explains, typically react with anger, guilt, shame, self-hate, worry, hurt, controlling gestures, caretaking, depression etc... In a nutshell, we react with fear and anxiety.
This was in caps: "WE JUMP INTO THE FIRST FEELING THAT COMES OUR WAY AND WE WALLOW IN IT".
This also means we tend to say the first things that come into our heads and often regret them. We react without thinking. Our emotions are controlled by other people and environments. We have lost control of them. We are being controlled. Because of how we tend to react, we have given up our right to THINK. "We forfeit our right to feel peaceful at the whim of our environments. We are like a wisp of paper in a thunderstorm, blown about by every wind."
We react, she states, because we are anxious and afraid of what has happened, what might happen, and what is happening. Many of us have had many crisis situations making a reaction of crisis proportion a habit. Here's some words of her wisdom:
We don't have to be so afraid of people
We don't have to forfeit our peace
We don't have to forfeit our power to think and feel for anyone or anything
We don't have to take things so seriously (ourselves, events, or other people)
We don't have to take other people's behaviors as reflections of our own self worth
We don't have to take rejection as a reflection of our self worth
We don't have to take things so personally
We don't have to take little things personally either
"We don't have to react. We have options. That is the joy of recovery from codependency. Each time we excersize our right to choose how we want to think, act, feel, and behave, we feel better and stronger". It's about not losing our serenity. We need to also be aware that others know us and how to get us to react. We need to be aware that we do this to other people also. If we can harness some of those reactions. To do this, we use detachment.
Some suggestions on how to help us to detach:
1.) Learn to recognize when someone is pulling your strings
2.) Make yourself comfortable (do/say as little as possible, until there's some peace of mind).
3.) Examine what happend - Minor, maybe handle. Larger, get some outside support. Troubles and feelings go wild when we cage them in.
4.) Figure out what you need to do to take care of yourself
There was a lot in this chapter. I'm posting the synopsis for anyone who doesn't have a book. That doesn't mean I'm very good at it. So, if anyone else wants to add - PLEASE do!
Activities:
1.) Are you spending too much time reacting to something or someone in your environment? To who or what? How are you reacting? Is that how you would choose to behave or feel if you had a choice?
2.) Go through the listed steps for whatever or whoever is bothering you the most. If you need to talk to someone, select a trusted friend. If necessary, get professional help.
3.) What activities help you to feel peaceful and comfortable?
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NYC
Posts: 132
At the same time, we would underreact when something was too significant, switching instead to denial (that one makes my head spin).
Question 1.
Right now I am not reacting as much as I was, because I have removed my qualifier from my life. Weirdly, with him has gone my reactivity. A serenity I have not had in years has returned. Or, maybe it's the first time I've ever had it.
I do still think about him a lot and I believe -- what I have come up with -- is that it was too uncomfortable for me to deal with the root of our issues as a couple, i.e., his addiction to sex. It was everywhere for me to see and he even mentioned he had spoken to a therapist about certain acting out he was experiencing, but the focus of our problems always became me and my issues ("these are not the droids you are looking for").
So when I was in reaction mode I believe I was actually confronting his addiction. All of our fights were around his commitment issues and his excuses for not being able to commit. I was too much like his exwife. I was not Mormon. I wasn't nice enough, sweet enough, submissive enough. Bottom line, I was not going to enable his sex addiction, which is his life MO.
I'm thankful to be out of it, but the obsession and the reactions to small indicators of his sex addiction I now believe were my crisis ways of dealing with the bigger unspeakable issue -- that he was addicted to sex. I would love to be able to be completely honest with myself -- remove my own addictions, namely, to relationships/love -- so I can make better choices based on real assessments of someone's potential as a partner.
Question 3.
Physical exercise outdoors of any sort really cures me. Al Anon meetings. Music.
Go ask the Multivax
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
alanonicnov2008,
You have one of the more interesting stories I've come across. It keeps getting more interesting too!
My main reaction figure has also been removed from our abode. So, things are uncomfortably peaceful at the moment. I'm gearing up for the activities. Which should be good because it will be placing the focus back onto my toilet bowl of a marriage.
Thanks guys! I think this book is amazing. I see why some people's copies are all worn out. As I can see reading this thing over and over as I do dumb things in my life. :-D
You have one of the more interesting stories I've come across. It keeps getting more interesting too!
My main reaction figure has also been removed from our abode. So, things are uncomfortably peaceful at the moment. I'm gearing up for the activities. Which should be good because it will be placing the focus back onto my toilet bowl of a marriage.
Thanks guys! I think this book is amazing. I see why some people's copies are all worn out. As I can see reading this thing over and over as I do dumb things in my life. :-D
Go ask the Multivax
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
It seems to benefit me most to go ahead and work these activities in the morning as it seems to color the rest of my day for the better.
1.) Are you spending too much time reacting to something or someone in your environment? To who or what? How are you reacting? Is that how you would choose to behave or feel if you had a choice?
Not today. However, this does bring to mind how I do react. In this chapter she talks about how many of us lived with crisis for so long that it becomes a habit to react is if in one. That brought to mind how I grew up with an Alcoholic mother. Cops were frequent visitors. At 12 I was in a foster home. So, there was plenty of crisis moments. As a mere kiddo, reacting to crisis was not only unhealthy, but difficult as kids are limited to any control. So, this plays a huge part in how I react. Which tends to lean on "life or death" for any perceived threat. Fear of abandonment plays into this big-time also.
On top of it all, there's a multi-generation family history of mental illness. So, after years of therapy it was determined that I have a true chemical inbalance. A birth defect of sorts. So, medication has been vital. Particularly, the mood stabilizer. It has allowed me to have that all too precious "pause" button. So, now that I physically/mentally have this new tool - It's now up to obtaining behavioral habit to actually use it.
So, this chapter is pretty darn awsome as it outlines exactly how someone like me utilizes pausing before reacting. I could get this method tatooed on my hand! I'm in a great place as having the object of my reactions out of the house. We were never a big fighting couple. The reactions were there, just outletted differently. When I was an active A I was loud and vocal. Along, with being prone to breaking things. The marriage was an emotional void by the time it ended. It should have ended 5 years or so ago as far as that's concerned. Anyway, this is very good.
Now barely married, there's new situations that have my dormant over reaction instinct slapping me over the head to remind me it's still there. I'm still reacting to others without enough reflection. Then, even with reflection, I seem to end up with false answers anyway. Must work on this.
Not sure if I answered #1 exactly. However, it is the best of my ability today!
2.) Go through the listed steps for whatever or whoever is bothering you the most. If you need to talk to someone, select a trusted friend. If necessary, get professional help.
Okay, Melodie, will do! As soon as I figure out exactly what my biggest issue is for the day.
3.) What activities help you to feel peaceful and comfortable?
Ah, here's me wee list:
1.) Human contact, recovery people is best. I've had the stomach flu but am better. However, it's kept me isolated this week. Which is bad because I can get comfortable in isolation easily. I DO NOT want to call anyone today. I want to sit with my germy thoughts. I guess I need to call people - now that I've said it 'n all.
2.) Going for walks. It's really nice out. I can smell spring. But, here I sit not wanting to put a single toe out there. Again, looks like I gotta since I said it!
3.) Do some cleaning. Like productive cleaning, mediciine cabinet refridgerator type stuff. It makes me feel productive and all usefull.
4.) Lend a helping hand. I can do this at a meeting. Even just letting someone know what they said helped me. I can also simply do something for my sister who's been staying here. Any little thing really.
Okay, enough from me!
1.) Are you spending too much time reacting to something or someone in your environment? To who or what? How are you reacting? Is that how you would choose to behave or feel if you had a choice?
Not today. However, this does bring to mind how I do react. In this chapter she talks about how many of us lived with crisis for so long that it becomes a habit to react is if in one. That brought to mind how I grew up with an Alcoholic mother. Cops were frequent visitors. At 12 I was in a foster home. So, there was plenty of crisis moments. As a mere kiddo, reacting to crisis was not only unhealthy, but difficult as kids are limited to any control. So, this plays a huge part in how I react. Which tends to lean on "life or death" for any perceived threat. Fear of abandonment plays into this big-time also.
On top of it all, there's a multi-generation family history of mental illness. So, after years of therapy it was determined that I have a true chemical inbalance. A birth defect of sorts. So, medication has been vital. Particularly, the mood stabilizer. It has allowed me to have that all too precious "pause" button. So, now that I physically/mentally have this new tool - It's now up to obtaining behavioral habit to actually use it.
So, this chapter is pretty darn awsome as it outlines exactly how someone like me utilizes pausing before reacting. I could get this method tatooed on my hand! I'm in a great place as having the object of my reactions out of the house. We were never a big fighting couple. The reactions were there, just outletted differently. When I was an active A I was loud and vocal. Along, with being prone to breaking things. The marriage was an emotional void by the time it ended. It should have ended 5 years or so ago as far as that's concerned. Anyway, this is very good.
Now barely married, there's new situations that have my dormant over reaction instinct slapping me over the head to remind me it's still there. I'm still reacting to others without enough reflection. Then, even with reflection, I seem to end up with false answers anyway. Must work on this.
Not sure if I answered #1 exactly. However, it is the best of my ability today!
2.) Go through the listed steps for whatever or whoever is bothering you the most. If you need to talk to someone, select a trusted friend. If necessary, get professional help.
Okay, Melodie, will do! As soon as I figure out exactly what my biggest issue is for the day.
3.) What activities help you to feel peaceful and comfortable?
Ah, here's me wee list:
1.) Human contact, recovery people is best. I've had the stomach flu but am better. However, it's kept me isolated this week. Which is bad because I can get comfortable in isolation easily. I DO NOT want to call anyone today. I want to sit with my germy thoughts. I guess I need to call people - now that I've said it 'n all.
2.) Going for walks. It's really nice out. I can smell spring. But, here I sit not wanting to put a single toe out there. Again, looks like I gotta since I said it!
3.) Do some cleaning. Like productive cleaning, mediciine cabinet refridgerator type stuff. It makes me feel productive and all usefull.
4.) Lend a helping hand. I can do this at a meeting. Even just letting someone know what they said helped me. I can also simply do something for my sister who's been staying here. Any little thing really.
Okay, enough from me!
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
1.) Are you spending too much time reacting to something or someone in your environment? To who or what? How are you reacting? Is that how you would choose to behave or feel if you had a choice?
SURE! At work to XABF although when he is not around I am able to concentrate well. But he is certainly a distraction and constant stressor.
Reacting: well I have improving on that.
Before:
Cried at home
Cried in the bathroom
Got angry because he is not who I thought he was
Got angry because he seemed happy and at ease and I am not
Come in and see his place, if he is there, wish someone threw a granade, if he isn't, hope he is passed out in a bar or dying or suffering in some way.
Engaged with his friends who didn't lose a chance to tell me he
-did not live in the past
-has had the time of his life while I was the only one suffering
-deserves some revenge
Agreed with the last one
Now:
Put on earplugs
Leave. I DONT have to listen BS
Climb stairs to get some of the anger out
Write how much I hate him and burn the paper at night
Try NOT to see if he is there or if he is not
Put headphones and play my favorite music
Stopped engaging with his friends, I just say hi amicably if I run into them. That's all.
What would I choose? INDIFFERENCE but sometimes it still seems far away.
at HOME: BF
I react at his every comment. With anger. With frustration. With irony and sarcasm. With hurt feelings. With sadness.
How would I choose to react?
I guess I would choose just NOT TO LIVE with someone who I don't get along with so well after all. Easy..
2.) Go through the listed steps for whatever or whoever is bothering you the most. If you need to talk to someone, select a trusted friend. If necessary, get professional help.
Yes got therapy scheduled.
3.) What activities help you to feel peaceful and comfortable?
Playing with my cats.
Caring for the little kittens I got at home.
Putting some order and throwing away stuff I don't need.
Doing a good job
Taking care of ME: mesotherapy, therapy, spa once a couple of months, planning to travel, eating better, going to my 2 hours of dancing lessons and ENJOY it not compare myself to anyone.
SURE! At work to XABF although when he is not around I am able to concentrate well. But he is certainly a distraction and constant stressor.
Reacting: well I have improving on that.
Before:
Cried at home
Cried in the bathroom
Got angry because he is not who I thought he was
Got angry because he seemed happy and at ease and I am not
Come in and see his place, if he is there, wish someone threw a granade, if he isn't, hope he is passed out in a bar or dying or suffering in some way.
Engaged with his friends who didn't lose a chance to tell me he
-did not live in the past
-has had the time of his life while I was the only one suffering
-deserves some revenge
Agreed with the last one
Now:
Put on earplugs
Leave. I DONT have to listen BS
Climb stairs to get some of the anger out
Write how much I hate him and burn the paper at night
Try NOT to see if he is there or if he is not
Put headphones and play my favorite music
Stopped engaging with his friends, I just say hi amicably if I run into them. That's all.
What would I choose? INDIFFERENCE but sometimes it still seems far away.
at HOME: BF
I react at his every comment. With anger. With frustration. With irony and sarcasm. With hurt feelings. With sadness.
How would I choose to react?
I guess I would choose just NOT TO LIVE with someone who I don't get along with so well after all. Easy..
2.) Go through the listed steps for whatever or whoever is bothering you the most. If you need to talk to someone, select a trusted friend. If necessary, get professional help.
Yes got therapy scheduled.
3.) What activities help you to feel peaceful and comfortable?
Playing with my cats.
Caring for the little kittens I got at home.
Putting some order and throwing away stuff I don't need.
Doing a good job
Taking care of ME: mesotherapy, therapy, spa once a couple of months, planning to travel, eating better, going to my 2 hours of dancing lessons and ENJOY it not compare myself to anyone.
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Maui, HI
Posts: 26
Originally Posted by Alizerin 
Synposis (as best I can do one anyway):
At the same time, we would underreact when something was too significant, switching instead to denial (that one makes my head spin).
Activities:
1.) Are you spending too much time reacting to something or someone in your environment? To who or what? How are you reacting? Is that how you would choose to behave or feel if you had a choice?
2.) Go through the listed steps for whatever or whoever is bothering you the most. If you need to talk to someone, select a trusted friend. If necessary, get professional help.
3.) What activities help you to feel peaceful and comfortable?
At the same time, we would underreact when something was too significant, switching instead to denial (that one makes my head spin).
Activities:
1.) Are you spending too much time reacting to something or someone in your environment? To who or what? How are you reacting? Is that how you would choose to behave or feel if you had a choice?
2.) Go through the listed steps for whatever or whoever is bothering you the most. If you need to talk to someone, select a trusted friend. If necessary, get professional help.
3.) What activities help you to feel peaceful and comfortable?
1) My H. I have operated from the basic belief that if he says it, it must be true. The latest comlaint is that he does not feel close to me, that I am "polite" with him and not real. You know what? Being told I am not behaving in a "real" way, just makes me more tense and uncomfortable and constantly concerned with how I am being percieved. That's a great combination to encourage relaxed and real.
How would I rather choose to behave? To be. To just be - without a constant self-evaluation of how I am coming across to others. Any wonder I am constantly exhausted?2) We are doing marriage counseling. That seems to help 'cause the Dr. is not letting us get away with our stuff. Today he told my H that his complaint above speaks more to where his own heart (and soul) is at, rather than my behaviour. No matter what another person does, it is always my choice in how I will respond. If I am being polite, rather than getting angry, my H could choose to move closer to me and attempt to engage me - thaw me out so to speak. What an amazing joy THAT would be. I think I would fall all over him.
3) OH, getting a massage - we have a massage school nearby and I can get one for $30. They are lovely. Going to the beach - alone to read and relax. Crafting, but where we are living now makes that difficult. Baking - the house is full of raisen bread right now!
Go ask the Multivax
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
Oh yeah, I forgot about sarcasm. I could be crowned a queen!
Isn't it weird, well at least to me, how we can overreact at one thing and completely deny something else. It's as if there's no middle road.
Isn't it weird, well at least to me, how we can overreact at one thing and completely deny something else. It's as if there's no middle road.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Trying to get it....
First, I just read,
What a novel concept. I usually react by non-reacting. Shutting down.
I have gotten much better at this. Telling my daughter she is not allowed to drink, and if she does it, I will call her probation officer. She is two months from finishing the drug court program. This is big progress for me.
Normally, I would be like the see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil monkey. Just let it pass, and everything will be fine. Sure thing Beth. How is that working for ya?
So far, I have made progress by using this book.
I am just starting to realize how deep I am in, and boy it's tough to post.
I want to be in charge of all I survey, and that doesn't work for me now.
Sigh......
Getting better because I am more aware now.
I must go to a meeting of AlAnon or NarAnon to get some face to face support.
Meetings helped so much with my alcoholism. And, I think I can get my head around the surrendering part. Yes, my life is unmanageable, and a work in progress.
Thanks for this Alizerin and all who faithfully post here, every word helps.
Beth
We don't have to react. We have options. That is the joy of recovery from codependency.
What a novel concept. I usually react by non-reacting. Shutting down.
I have gotten much better at this. Telling my daughter she is not allowed to drink, and if she does it, I will call her probation officer. She is two months from finishing the drug court program. This is big progress for me.
Normally, I would be like the see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil monkey. Just let it pass, and everything will be fine. Sure thing Beth. How is that working for ya?
So far, I have made progress by using this book.
I am just starting to realize how deep I am in, and boy it's tough to post.
I want to be in charge of all I survey, and that doesn't work for me now.
Sigh......
Getting better because I am more aware now.
I must go to a meeting of AlAnon or NarAnon to get some face to face support.
Meetings helped so much with my alcoholism. And, I think I can get my head around the surrendering part. Yes, my life is unmanageable, and a work in progress.
Thanks for this Alizerin and all who faithfully post here, every word helps.
Beth
Go ask the Multivax
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
"Meetings helped so much with my alcoholism. And, I think I can get my head around the surrendering part."
Yeah, we got a little edge on that one.
Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender,Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender,Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender,Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender,
I need to get this because I'm having stupid thoughts today!
Yeah, we got a little edge on that one.
Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender,Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender,Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender,Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender, Surrender,
I need to get this because I'm having stupid thoughts today!
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Give it up Alizerin!
You know you must!
I am surrendering. ack!
surrender
i can not control this.
surrender
i can not cure this.
surrender
i did not cause this.
surrrrrrr..okay she is my daughter and i have hard time giving this one up.
dammit.
surrender.
You know you must!
I am surrendering. ack!
surrender
i can not control this.
surrender
i can not cure this.
surrender
i did not cause this.
surrrrrrr..okay she is my daughter and i have hard time giving this one up.
dammit.
surrender.
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
thank you MAuigirl,
after pacing around a little, a thought occurred to me.
I have done what I can for my daughter. She has been to rehab twice.
This drug court thing has been a lot of work for both of us.
And I know, I know that she knows what to do.
I saw it in her face.
So, if she gets sidetracked a little, she knows what needs to happen.
And for HP's sake, who she can talk to about it.
after pacing around a little, a thought occurred to me.
I have done what I can for my daughter. She has been to rehab twice.
This drug court thing has been a lot of work for both of us.
And I know, I know that she knows what to do.
I saw it in her face.
So, if she gets sidetracked a little, she knows what needs to happen.
And for HP's sake, who she can talk to about it.
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South Africa
Posts: 330
Originally Posted by Alizerin
We don't have to take little things personally either
"We don't have to react. We have options.
"We don't have to react. We have options.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
She told me that I am still in "fight or flight" mode and that I should, in such circumstances wait/write the text and only save it.
I am trying to let it go.
Just think first. I think in this chapter, something is said for waiting a minute.
There are very few things that need to be responded to right away,
like blood loss or cardiac arrest.
and, of course being the good codie I am, I am in charge in a crisis.
Later fall apart.
Yep.
Go ask the Multivax
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
Wicked, about your daughter - I've got my eye on you. Because even though my son is just 7. He's got all sorts of addictions on both sides going back to who knows when. So, since my husbands gone and I'm now sober - I have like 6 years (since 13 "appears" to be the magic number) of being alcohol/drug issue FREE. Then my kid will start in.
^
And there shows my issue of not living in the present!
I'm in a situation where I'm not reacting - Right away that is. But, I still want to react. But I know my reactions aren't going to change anything. I can't REACT someone into loving themselves!
^
And there shows my issue of not living in the present!
I'm in a situation where I'm not reacting - Right away that is. But, I still want to react. But I know my reactions aren't going to change anything. I can't REACT someone into loving themselves!
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