Bucyn Update
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 223
Bucyn Update
At 2:55 this afternoon I was granted a divorce from my abusive alcoholic momma's boy husband. He's now officially X.
It was lining up to be a nasty divorce, he chose a lawyer I'd developed a relationship and he'd been removed from the house for domestic violence. He violated the restraining order every day by taking his daughter to the ONLY one of the six bus stops in our neighborhood that was within the 500 ft prohibited zone per RO (and she shouldn't have even been enrolled in that school since she'd moved to the next town). He accosted my son twice wanting to establish a relationship with him altho my minor son told him no; the second time was while my son was in Boy Scout uniform volunteering at a church carnival. My son was so upset we called the police, and the police brought CPS (something they always do when an adult harasses a minor).
He wanted me removed from the house and got the great idea that he and his kids would live in it--and I'd pay him alimony altho he'd was earning as much as me and those aren't my kids. Oh, and I'd invested about $45K more into the house than he had. He also wanted lawyer fees and accused me of defacing the house and reducing it's value. Fine, I took photos and filed them with the court. X was a hoarder and the photos clearly showed that this stuff belonged to him and to his kids. His lawyer filed a motion to strike the photos as evidence.
Then X lost his job. He had two subordinates and had known for about 9 months that one of them KS was going to be fired at Xmas. Well, Dec 18, X was the one fired and KS promoted to his place. They called it 'position elimination' so he could get unemployment, but didn't mention it wasn't his position they eliminated. Within hours X was sitting in his lawyer's office demanding alimony. Why was he fired? Hmmm...could it be that he was late almost every day, sometimes significantly so? Had to take multiple days off to take his criminal, mentally disturbed kid to court hearings, diversion programs, drug court, evals, psychiatrists, psychologists, arrests (the kid was arrested 3 times by age 12, and charged with 4 different felonies), etc... Or that he kept having crises and lost his cars and had to borrow a work van for a couple months because he had no transportation, didn't have any way to get to work. Or that he didn't have day car for his kid either, and brought the boy to work often or worse made him sit out in the parking lot in the car in Florida summer weather? Or that he had to leave work every afternoon for over an hour to pick up his daughter from the 'illegal' bus stop at 2:30?
Hmmm....He got fired and moved to Ohio, but still wanted to have me removed from the house. He blew off a subpoenaed deposition and cyberstalked me. He also sent a puzzling and abusive email, wrote really nasty things on the inet about me (nothing serious, just showing again how hateful and abusive he was), abandoned all financial obligations we mutually held and whined I was stalking him, and on and on.
I had tons of documentation, and had a whole bunch of witnesses including his exboss lined up to testify about his firing, his abuse, his hoarding, his sexually harassing my sons' 17 year old girlfriends.
Last Friday we went to mediation and I ended up with everything, and even got to keep my pension which I had just written off half of. I get to keep the house, although I need to modify the loan, which i'll be able to do. I was also surprised I got to keep all the marital property. I also got to keep all the hoarded crap
, and have to clean it out. But I enjoy showing people the pictures. And it's the only drawback.
The mediator talked to me, then to him, going back and forth between us (we were in separate rooms). She said 'he's a loon'; he was fixated on minutia of his crap. "Antique" tin cans and an 'airloom' piece of the Berlin wall he 'inherited', etc... She said he got so upset he started shaking. I told her the way to calm him down was to tell him I was a bad person. She laughed; I don't know if she did or not. But another time she came in and said, 'where'd you find this loser?' (how come everyone knows that right away except for me? I guess that's why I'm in Al-anon), and at the end she said his marbles all roll to one side. LOL. I'd never heard that before.
Anyway, after five and a half hours it was over and signed. He had three days to move his stuff out of the house, from 8-6 pm. So i took off work and he went through everything. For all he made a big production of how 'afraid' of me he was, afraid I'd set him up for more 'false' abuse charges, he came alone. I made sure there was always another person in the house (my kids are on spring break from college).
But it went well. I have someone coming next weekend to haul away the rest of his crap and a bunch of my own too. I long for a simpified uncluttered life.
He wanted photos and I asked if he only wanted those of him and his kids, or of all seven of us. He seemed offended that I'd asked. He wanted all seven of us. "It was 5 years of my life, you know. It was five years of my life." And I thought maybe he was hurt some about the divorce. Oh well, I've been relieved since he left, and if there's any portion of our life together he valued, it's his own fault he lost it. He could have been a husband and a man and have actually--gasp--been nice to his wife.
I myself don't care to look at the pictures. they look ok, but then I know the back story. That one on the cruise, was taken moments after he accused me of upsetting his son at the dinner table. This one of us on the honeymoon was taken an hour before he refused to sit with me at a show (on our honeymoon mind you), because it would upset his mother. I figure I was only happily married for about 36 hours before he informed me that he wanted to spend time on our honeymoon cruise mostly with his brother and mother because he got to see me all the time and hardly got to see them. He would take his mother to family gathering of predinner cocktails but leave me out because he'd promised his mother he would spend time with her without me (or else she wasn't going to come on the cruise). So he'd lie and say he wasn't going to cocktails, then go, or say he'd meet me in the cabin at 5 and we'd go together, but stand me up. Like I said, I only was happily married for about 36 hours, so the pictures don't mean much to me. But he wants them, so I'll stick them up on facebook for him.
He made a point to say he was going out celebrating tonight. Well, guess what I'm doing right now as I type this. Letting my new huge flat screen tv download. The kids and I went out for dinner and then bought the tv; tomorrow my friends are taking me out after work. He's not the only one celebrating.
So I just thought I'd update you all; I feel so quietly, happily elated, so free. I feel like God is shining His face down on me. I can fix foreclosure, bankruptcy, bad credit, etc... In 24 months that will all be past history. I was never going to be able to fix an abusive alcoholic momma's boy with a very disturbed kid. No point in wasting any more of my life trying; I am a bit ashamed I stuck it out so long.
It was lining up to be a nasty divorce, he chose a lawyer I'd developed a relationship and he'd been removed from the house for domestic violence. He violated the restraining order every day by taking his daughter to the ONLY one of the six bus stops in our neighborhood that was within the 500 ft prohibited zone per RO (and she shouldn't have even been enrolled in that school since she'd moved to the next town). He accosted my son twice wanting to establish a relationship with him altho my minor son told him no; the second time was while my son was in Boy Scout uniform volunteering at a church carnival. My son was so upset we called the police, and the police brought CPS (something they always do when an adult harasses a minor).
He wanted me removed from the house and got the great idea that he and his kids would live in it--and I'd pay him alimony altho he'd was earning as much as me and those aren't my kids. Oh, and I'd invested about $45K more into the house than he had. He also wanted lawyer fees and accused me of defacing the house and reducing it's value. Fine, I took photos and filed them with the court. X was a hoarder and the photos clearly showed that this stuff belonged to him and to his kids. His lawyer filed a motion to strike the photos as evidence.
Then X lost his job. He had two subordinates and had known for about 9 months that one of them KS was going to be fired at Xmas. Well, Dec 18, X was the one fired and KS promoted to his place. They called it 'position elimination' so he could get unemployment, but didn't mention it wasn't his position they eliminated. Within hours X was sitting in his lawyer's office demanding alimony. Why was he fired? Hmmm...could it be that he was late almost every day, sometimes significantly so? Had to take multiple days off to take his criminal, mentally disturbed kid to court hearings, diversion programs, drug court, evals, psychiatrists, psychologists, arrests (the kid was arrested 3 times by age 12, and charged with 4 different felonies), etc... Or that he kept having crises and lost his cars and had to borrow a work van for a couple months because he had no transportation, didn't have any way to get to work. Or that he didn't have day car for his kid either, and brought the boy to work often or worse made him sit out in the parking lot in the car in Florida summer weather? Or that he had to leave work every afternoon for over an hour to pick up his daughter from the 'illegal' bus stop at 2:30?
Hmmm....He got fired and moved to Ohio, but still wanted to have me removed from the house. He blew off a subpoenaed deposition and cyberstalked me. He also sent a puzzling and abusive email, wrote really nasty things on the inet about me (nothing serious, just showing again how hateful and abusive he was), abandoned all financial obligations we mutually held and whined I was stalking him, and on and on.
I had tons of documentation, and had a whole bunch of witnesses including his exboss lined up to testify about his firing, his abuse, his hoarding, his sexually harassing my sons' 17 year old girlfriends.
Last Friday we went to mediation and I ended up with everything, and even got to keep my pension which I had just written off half of. I get to keep the house, although I need to modify the loan, which i'll be able to do. I was also surprised I got to keep all the marital property. I also got to keep all the hoarded crap
, and have to clean it out. But I enjoy showing people the pictures. And it's the only drawback.The mediator talked to me, then to him, going back and forth between us (we were in separate rooms). She said 'he's a loon'; he was fixated on minutia of his crap. "Antique" tin cans and an 'airloom' piece of the Berlin wall he 'inherited', etc... She said he got so upset he started shaking. I told her the way to calm him down was to tell him I was a bad person. She laughed; I don't know if she did or not. But another time she came in and said, 'where'd you find this loser?' (how come everyone knows that right away except for me? I guess that's why I'm in Al-anon), and at the end she said his marbles all roll to one side. LOL. I'd never heard that before.
Anyway, after five and a half hours it was over and signed. He had three days to move his stuff out of the house, from 8-6 pm. So i took off work and he went through everything. For all he made a big production of how 'afraid' of me he was, afraid I'd set him up for more 'false' abuse charges, he came alone. I made sure there was always another person in the house (my kids are on spring break from college).
But it went well. I have someone coming next weekend to haul away the rest of his crap and a bunch of my own too. I long for a simpified uncluttered life.
He wanted photos and I asked if he only wanted those of him and his kids, or of all seven of us. He seemed offended that I'd asked. He wanted all seven of us. "It was 5 years of my life, you know. It was five years of my life." And I thought maybe he was hurt some about the divorce. Oh well, I've been relieved since he left, and if there's any portion of our life together he valued, it's his own fault he lost it. He could have been a husband and a man and have actually--gasp--been nice to his wife.
I myself don't care to look at the pictures. they look ok, but then I know the back story. That one on the cruise, was taken moments after he accused me of upsetting his son at the dinner table. This one of us on the honeymoon was taken an hour before he refused to sit with me at a show (on our honeymoon mind you), because it would upset his mother. I figure I was only happily married for about 36 hours before he informed me that he wanted to spend time on our honeymoon cruise mostly with his brother and mother because he got to see me all the time and hardly got to see them. He would take his mother to family gathering of predinner cocktails but leave me out because he'd promised his mother he would spend time with her without me (or else she wasn't going to come on the cruise). So he'd lie and say he wasn't going to cocktails, then go, or say he'd meet me in the cabin at 5 and we'd go together, but stand me up. Like I said, I only was happily married for about 36 hours, so the pictures don't mean much to me. But he wants them, so I'll stick them up on facebook for him.
He made a point to say he was going out celebrating tonight. Well, guess what I'm doing right now as I type this. Letting my new huge flat screen tv download. The kids and I went out for dinner and then bought the tv; tomorrow my friends are taking me out after work. He's not the only one celebrating.
So I just thought I'd update you all; I feel so quietly, happily elated, so free. I feel like God is shining His face down on me. I can fix foreclosure, bankruptcy, bad credit, etc... In 24 months that will all be past history. I was never going to be able to fix an abusive alcoholic momma's boy with a very disturbed kid. No point in wasting any more of my life trying; I am a bit ashamed I stuck it out so long.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 56
Congratulations!! It sounds to me you're in a really good space, good for you! And none of that guilt stuff. In the big scheme of life, it was only 5 years. Yes, 5 years, but us women, we live, what 85 now? So it's not even 6% of your anticipated lifespan. Big now but soon just a blip as you move on with this positivity you're showing.
All the best!
All the best!
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Bucyn -
I'm so happy for you!
Enjoy your night tomorrow!!
So - what if he starts going to the bvust stop? These people don't pay attention to restraining orders you know. Make sure you'[ve got a plan and then go out and parTAY!!!!
I'm so happy for you!
Enjoy your night tomorrow!!
So - what if he starts going to the bvust stop? These people don't pay attention to restraining orders you know. Make sure you'[ve got a plan and then go out and parTAY!!!!
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
Congrats on being able to take a breath! I've been following your story some what and know you've been through the ringer. You deserve to celebrate tomorrow and I wish I could treat you to a round!
Wow, M and I were married for five years and there were seven of us all together too.
Originally Posted by Bucyn 
He wanted photos and I asked if he only wanted those of him and his kids, or of all seven of us. He seemed offended that I'd asked. He wanted all seven of us. "It was 5 years of my life, you know. It was five years of my life."
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 223
Thanks. One of the best parts of this is my lawyers only cost $4500, plus $500 for the mediator. And I decided fairly early on not to get all caught up in the divorce and divorce emotion. I did once in a while, but for the most part I ignored the whole thing. I figured I'd given up 4 years of my life to this miserable marriage, I wasn't going to give up another six months. I spent very little time on it; if I felt myself getting drawn in to the negative energy of it, I would draw a breath and pray: "Trust in the Lord, for he is good, His love endures forever". I just said over and over, "I trust you to work this out". And it worked out nicely.
He's very bitter. I'm sure he regrets the settlement and has major 'buyer's remorse'. He wants soooooooooooooo badly for me to punished and made sorry for all his unhappiness with me. This morning we had to go to a different court for code enforcement violations (he was a hoarder and left all his crap around the house at the sides and back and we were cited). I inherited the mess; it was the only draw back to the divorce, but since I won everything else, it doesn't matter. The magistrate gave me 45 days to clean it up. No problem. He was there and after the magistrate and I finished wanted to say something, started blathering on about how his lawyer had given mine a letter in November or something letting me clean up the stuff. Like, um, who cares?
(If it's the letter i think it is, he also accused me of stealing his stuff, defacing the house, and denied the stuff was his...so until the divorce judge gave me a court order, I wasn't touching anything. I could just see a trap, sure throw out the stuff, then I'll demand, where's my this, where's my that, those things were worth a billion dollars and she threw them out, they were never part of the junk).
So after business was finished he started on trying to 'tattle', wanting to get me into trouble somehow, bringing up resolved divorce stuff that didn't matter to the code enforcement magistrate or anyone. Always, always, always wanting the world to know I'm bad, bad, bad. Making up stuff (oooh the neighbor saw you removing HIS personal stuff from the house--nope, didn't happen. Or a fax coming in to my lawyer's office demanding I redo my financials because he had it on good authority that I'd gotten a promotion and a major raise--nope, didn't happen. Or absolute conviction that I had taken all the home mortgage interest deduction and cheated him out of something--again, nope, nope, nope). God knows where he was getting this stuff from, but it was so important to him that people know I'm horrible.
Fine I'm bad. Now go back to Ohio and leave me alone.
Here's something else that's kind of funny.
In summer 2008 XA told me that he and his mother were 'insiders' in our marriage and I was an 'outsider' (effed up much?). So I called a lawyer, call him Shark. Shark had been XA's first wife's lawyer and had deeply spooked XA. Early in our marriage XA said, if I ever get divorced again, I'm going to get Shark and wipe use him to wipe the floor with my wife. I looked at him and thought, hello, dude, you are talking about ME. So when XA called me an 'outsider' in my own marriage, I called Shark and talked to him briefly.
A year later, June 2009, XA treated me like utter crap over our anniversary and other stuff and I called Shark again and had about a 45 minute conversation with him. A couple weeks later I told XA that i was serious about divorce and had talk to a lawyer, Shark.
XA was outraged. "You called MY lawyer! How dare you call MY lawyer." I pointed out Shark had no been his lawyer, but his exwife's lawyer; his lawyer had been Larry. He looked shocked (those darned inconvenient facts). I said I wasn't interested in Shark because I sensed he was one of those who stirred up more trouble than necessary and ran up the bill and prolonged things (I was right). And I said, "Besides, Shark represented your exwife and she ended up losing everything. She was mentally disabled and incapable of working and only got $300 alimony TOTAL. She lost all custody of her kids, didn't even get every other weekend, which is almost guaranteed. She lost the trailer her brother had given her. She ended up with NOTHING but a few personal things. She should have gotten at least half of the property, but didn't. So what did that say about her lawyer?"
So XA hired this guy and what happened? XA lost everything except a few personal items. Just like his ex.
And the thing is, I wasn't interested in fussing. I was happy to do it through one of those services that takes your settlement and prepares the paperwork and files it with the court, one that costs about $500 total. And he would have ended up with more. I was pretty much resigned to letting him have the 63 in TV, for example. Wrote off half my pension. And then he got nasty and and demanded alimony and legal fees even though at the time he was making about as much as me. Starting stalking me and violating the restraining order, accusing me of strange stuff, playing victim of false abuse allegations when in fact he did shove me against the refrigerator and later did harass my kid. And on and on. It takes two to make a peaceful divorce and even until this morning was trying to figure out how he could smear me.
And nobody cares. But he keeps trying.
He had Sat-Tuesday to remove his personal property from the house. At one point he said bitterly, "You got everything, you made out pretty well in this divorce." I didn't say it, but I was thinking it: Yeah, and I was pretty well off before the marriage too. I had $109,000 cash in the bank. And I didn't get myself fired like he did. Not my fault he was in manufacturing. And I have a career with outstanding advancement opportunities. But I didn't say that. Then he said, "I see you are getting child support now too." Yep, and what a bitter blow to my ex: about $1900 a month extra on top of everything else; child support, not stepfather support. So once the house is refinanced and my promotion comes through, I'll be about where I was before we married. Not ahead. That's not unfair. And he won't be much worse off. He was living in a 30 year old trailer in an iffy part of the county, a trailer that was condemned after he left it, in a trailer park that closed three years later.
But I didn't get what i really wanted: a normal, loving, stable husband who understood without being told that mommy was an outsider in his marriage and his wife was the insider.
He's very bitter. I'm sure he regrets the settlement and has major 'buyer's remorse'. He wants soooooooooooooo badly for me to punished and made sorry for all his unhappiness with me. This morning we had to go to a different court for code enforcement violations (he was a hoarder and left all his crap around the house at the sides and back and we were cited). I inherited the mess; it was the only draw back to the divorce, but since I won everything else, it doesn't matter. The magistrate gave me 45 days to clean it up. No problem. He was there and after the magistrate and I finished wanted to say something, started blathering on about how his lawyer had given mine a letter in November or something letting me clean up the stuff. Like, um, who cares?
(If it's the letter i think it is, he also accused me of stealing his stuff, defacing the house, and denied the stuff was his...so until the divorce judge gave me a court order, I wasn't touching anything. I could just see a trap, sure throw out the stuff, then I'll demand, where's my this, where's my that, those things were worth a billion dollars and she threw them out, they were never part of the junk).
So after business was finished he started on trying to 'tattle', wanting to get me into trouble somehow, bringing up resolved divorce stuff that didn't matter to the code enforcement magistrate or anyone. Always, always, always wanting the world to know I'm bad, bad, bad. Making up stuff (oooh the neighbor saw you removing HIS personal stuff from the house--nope, didn't happen. Or a fax coming in to my lawyer's office demanding I redo my financials because he had it on good authority that I'd gotten a promotion and a major raise--nope, didn't happen. Or absolute conviction that I had taken all the home mortgage interest deduction and cheated him out of something--again, nope, nope, nope). God knows where he was getting this stuff from, but it was so important to him that people know I'm horrible.
Fine I'm bad. Now go back to Ohio and leave me alone.
Here's something else that's kind of funny.
In summer 2008 XA told me that he and his mother were 'insiders' in our marriage and I was an 'outsider' (effed up much?). So I called a lawyer, call him Shark. Shark had been XA's first wife's lawyer and had deeply spooked XA. Early in our marriage XA said, if I ever get divorced again, I'm going to get Shark and wipe use him to wipe the floor with my wife. I looked at him and thought, hello, dude, you are talking about ME. So when XA called me an 'outsider' in my own marriage, I called Shark and talked to him briefly.
A year later, June 2009, XA treated me like utter crap over our anniversary and other stuff and I called Shark again and had about a 45 minute conversation with him. A couple weeks later I told XA that i was serious about divorce and had talk to a lawyer, Shark.
XA was outraged. "You called MY lawyer! How dare you call MY lawyer." I pointed out Shark had no been his lawyer, but his exwife's lawyer; his lawyer had been Larry. He looked shocked (those darned inconvenient facts). I said I wasn't interested in Shark because I sensed he was one of those who stirred up more trouble than necessary and ran up the bill and prolonged things (I was right). And I said, "Besides, Shark represented your exwife and she ended up losing everything. She was mentally disabled and incapable of working and only got $300 alimony TOTAL. She lost all custody of her kids, didn't even get every other weekend, which is almost guaranteed. She lost the trailer her brother had given her. She ended up with NOTHING but a few personal things. She should have gotten at least half of the property, but didn't. So what did that say about her lawyer?"
So XA hired this guy and what happened? XA lost everything except a few personal items. Just like his ex.
And the thing is, I wasn't interested in fussing. I was happy to do it through one of those services that takes your settlement and prepares the paperwork and files it with the court, one that costs about $500 total. And he would have ended up with more. I was pretty much resigned to letting him have the 63 in TV, for example. Wrote off half my pension. And then he got nasty and and demanded alimony and legal fees even though at the time he was making about as much as me. Starting stalking me and violating the restraining order, accusing me of strange stuff, playing victim of false abuse allegations when in fact he did shove me against the refrigerator and later did harass my kid. And on and on. It takes two to make a peaceful divorce and even until this morning was trying to figure out how he could smear me.
And nobody cares. But he keeps trying.
He had Sat-Tuesday to remove his personal property from the house. At one point he said bitterly, "You got everything, you made out pretty well in this divorce." I didn't say it, but I was thinking it: Yeah, and I was pretty well off before the marriage too. I had $109,000 cash in the bank. And I didn't get myself fired like he did. Not my fault he was in manufacturing. And I have a career with outstanding advancement opportunities. But I didn't say that. Then he said, "I see you are getting child support now too." Yep, and what a bitter blow to my ex: about $1900 a month extra on top of everything else; child support, not stepfather support. So once the house is refinanced and my promotion comes through, I'll be about where I was before we married. Not ahead. That's not unfair. And he won't be much worse off. He was living in a 30 year old trailer in an iffy part of the county, a trailer that was condemned after he left it, in a trailer park that closed three years later.
But I didn't get what i really wanted: a normal, loving, stable husband who understood without being told that mommy was an outsider in his marriage and his wife was the insider.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
As soon as I saw this thread, I thought to myself, "I wonder if she's sent grumpy guts back to dear old mummy." And YOU HAVE.
I am so glad that it is done dusted, and he gets to mooch and moan to whoever....as long as it isn't you....who the hell cares? He never listened did he? Just jumped in and then, when he found himself nearly drowning....it WAS ALL YOUR FAULT.
Well Bucyn, after all the hassles, you are
God bless
I am so glad that it is done dusted, and he gets to mooch and moan to whoever....as long as it isn't you....who the hell cares? He never listened did he? Just jumped in and then, when he found himself nearly drowning....it WAS ALL YOUR FAULT.
Well Bucyn, after all the hassles, you are
God bless
Curled up in a good book...
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,542
Awesome Bucyn, just awesome!!
XAH also told me I had 'done well' out of the divorce - by going through the lawyers and making sure everything was divided evenly I got more than my 'fair' share and I owed him!! Yeah, fine, whatever...
Enjoy your freedom!
XAH also told me I had 'done well' out of the divorce - by going through the lawyers and making sure everything was divided evenly I got more than my 'fair' share and I owed him!! Yeah, fine, whatever...
Enjoy your freedom!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 223
The Rat Car is GONE !!!!
I am just loving these changes.
My ex had an 1988 Mitsubishi Starion before we married. He bought a second one a few months before we married with the idea of cannibalizing the second one to rebuild the first.
Of course, he did neither. He took the first one with him when he left and abandoned the other one. I've hated that car for so long. It had a rat living in it, and garbage and old vcr tapes. It hadn't been titled in years or insured. It was beaten up, the window open for years, faded red, nasty, nasty, nasty.
And I was stuck with it. Yuck. Tuesday I got title to it and this evening they hauled it away. As it went down the street I felt such a rush of elation. The Starion was so closely identified with him, since he liked them so much, it was wonderful to see it rolling out of my life FOREVER.
Tomorrow the Junk Hauler is coming. XA was a hoarder and the outside is packed with his crap: at least 7 rusty file cabinets, chairs, a mattress, kids' bikes, trikes, scooters, and all sorts of junk. This is such a high. I didn't expect to be so pleased at seeing the last of him and his stuff and his clutter vanish.
My house and my life is going to be clean and tidy and airy. This evening I've been online looking for new bedding, quilts and curtains for the bedroom. It's fun. And it's such a relief.
To those of you who are unsure about being on your own and leaving your A, take it from me, it might not only not be horrible, it might be wonderful!
Plus I have more closet space!
My ex had an 1988 Mitsubishi Starion before we married. He bought a second one a few months before we married with the idea of cannibalizing the second one to rebuild the first.
Of course, he did neither. He took the first one with him when he left and abandoned the other one. I've hated that car for so long. It had a rat living in it, and garbage and old vcr tapes. It hadn't been titled in years or insured. It was beaten up, the window open for years, faded red, nasty, nasty, nasty.
And I was stuck with it. Yuck. Tuesday I got title to it and this evening they hauled it away. As it went down the street I felt such a rush of elation. The Starion was so closely identified with him, since he liked them so much, it was wonderful to see it rolling out of my life FOREVER.
Tomorrow the Junk Hauler is coming. XA was a hoarder and the outside is packed with his crap: at least 7 rusty file cabinets, chairs, a mattress, kids' bikes, trikes, scooters, and all sorts of junk. This is such a high. I didn't expect to be so pleased at seeing the last of him and his stuff and his clutter vanish.
My house and my life is going to be clean and tidy and airy. This evening I've been online looking for new bedding, quilts and curtains for the bedroom. It's fun. And it's such a relief.
To those of you who are unsure about being on your own and leaving your A, take it from me, it might not only not be horrible, it might be wonderful!
Plus I have more closet space!
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