Terminal Uniqueness
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
I can hear Barb D's radio playing softly in the background telling me that the people closest to me -- regardless of what my five senses are telling me -- may some day "find me out" and then they won't love me any more, and I will be alone, ostracized, exiled.
Maybe someday I'll go back
and try to find out where that came from -
whether from playmates,
or from family or whatever.
I love how you put that. Dead on!!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
This is a good thread. I don't think I so much am afraid that I'll be 'found' out really. I'm afraid that I can not be normal enough to be good enough. Hmm, maybe that is the same thing. I wonder sometimes if I don't over do the niceness, over do the 'doing for others', over do the always wanting others to feel understood because I just can't feel deeply that I'm lovable or that I can even love. I see people in close emotionally intimate relationships and it looks nice enough but I just can't imagine it being me.
Unlike many people here I am so happy to be alone. I have zero desire to move to another relationship. The very idea just exhausts me but then it is so sad to think that I would never be emotionally connected to another person. I just don't know how.
Unlike many people here I am so happy to be alone. I have zero desire to move to another relationship. The very idea just exhausts me but then it is so sad to think that I would never be emotionally connected to another person. I just don't know how.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Originally Posted by GiveLove 
Another tiny percentage-er, down in that 1-2% range. Not mutants! Just rare! 
terminally unique. :rotfxko
okay, just rare.
hehehehe
oops, it was LTD i was trying to respond to.
i guess now i can't add smarter than 98% of the country.
sigh......
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Originally Posted by GiveLove
One stubborn bit of damage that still resides in me, that's for sure.
On some level, somewhere, I can hear Barb D's radio playing softly in the background telling me that the people closest to me -- regardless of what my five senses are telling me -- may some day "find me out" and then they won't love me any more, and I will be alone, ostracized, exiled.
And seriously? If I knew who planted that seed in my head way back when, I would get in the hot tub time machine and go back and whack them with a bat
What a terrible thing to do to a kid.
On some level, somewhere, I can hear Barb D's radio playing softly in the background telling me that the people closest to me -- regardless of what my five senses are telling me -- may some day "find me out" and then they won't love me any more, and I will be alone, ostracized, exiled.
And seriously? If I knew who planted that seed in my head way back when, I would get in the hot tub time machine and go back and whack them with a bat
What a terrible thing to do to a kid.We sang about this everytime we sang Santa Claus is Coming to Town.
"He's making a list
and checking it twice.
He's going to find out who's naughty and nice.
Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town.
He sees when you're sleeping.
He knows when you're awake.
He knows if you've been bad or good.
So be good for goodness sake!
You better watch out!
Better not cry!
Better not pout!
I'm telling you why,
Santa Claus is comin' to town."
The fear of being humiliated Christmas morning because Santa knew I was a fraud! Childhood horror of horrors!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
I'm reading a book now that talks about the overly sensitive personality. That would fit my persona well.
It seems a lot of codies, fit this persona also.
Most of the population feels "less than" or not normal. Most well established people have a deep fear of being found out. Turns out, most well established people fit the overly sensitive persona as well.
My understanding is, those who coast through life feeling worthy and self assured are the minority and also lack "sensitive perception"
I work with a girl who's life is a mess, her kids are a mess, her marriage is a mess. Well it's a mess to me, but she's really happy. She loves her life. Really!
She's also lacks being over sensitive so she takes it all in and doesn't over-think it.
I over think, therefore, I worry about being found out and being not normal.
My protective coating to this is my self righteousness. If I can blind them with how great I think I am, then they won't found out I'm scared just like everyone else.
It seems a lot of codies, fit this persona also.
Most of the population feels "less than" or not normal. Most well established people have a deep fear of being found out. Turns out, most well established people fit the overly sensitive persona as well.
My understanding is, those who coast through life feeling worthy and self assured are the minority and also lack "sensitive perception"
I work with a girl who's life is a mess, her kids are a mess, her marriage is a mess. Well it's a mess to me, but she's really happy. She loves her life. Really!
She's also lacks being over sensitive so she takes it all in and doesn't over-think it.
I over think, therefore, I worry about being found out and being not normal.
My protective coating to this is my self righteousness. If I can blind them with how great I think I am, then they won't found out I'm scared just like everyone else.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Great thread, thank you!!!!
We spend so much time focusing on "them" this is a great reminder to turn those 5 fingers the other way. Thank you LaTeeDa you've helpe me in more ways then you could imagine, and for a long time now. I may not post often but I read read read and take to heart what you say.
We spend so much time focusing on "them" this is a great reminder to turn those 5 fingers the other way. Thank you LaTeeDa you've helpe me in more ways then you could imagine, and for a long time now. I may not post often but I read read read and take to heart what you say.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Omak WA
Posts: 1,049
Uniqueness....
Hi Everyone,
My thoughts of being Unique are some what different. I knew I was an alcoholic many years before I finally was able to stay sober. But I had this (Intuition) or ability to gravitate towards a friendship, later finding out they had problems with alcohol addiction.
We, as alcoholic's or a friend or family member of an alcoholic, do relate to each other & can bond as caring about another person wanting to get help.
Many times Alanon & Alcoholic AA Members clash. Some males resent female
alcoholics because their wife or exwife is involved with alcohol. Also someone can be afraid of an alcoholic because of their own experience with one. Or an unthinking husband or wife can flaunt their being able to drink safely by drinking in front of a spouse just back from treatment.
The friends I have been lucky to make always are around somewhere...driving by or walking towards me in the post office....with a smile & a hello. It is just a small reward of many that makes me feel good about myself & others.
This knowledge I have gained through AA Meetings, books read, & personal experiences over the years. I sobered up when I was 48 & finished up a
BA Degree in Psychology when I was fifty. I then got a good job at a Mental Health Clinic where I worked mostly with the Elderly & all ages of adult alcoholics with a mental health dx. I am retired but did love my job. I wanted to be sober more than anything in my life. I worked very hard & used
the tools collected along the way to continue to stay sober.
My thoughts of being Unique are some what different. I knew I was an alcoholic many years before I finally was able to stay sober. But I had this (Intuition) or ability to gravitate towards a friendship, later finding out they had problems with alcohol addiction.
We, as alcoholic's or a friend or family member of an alcoholic, do relate to each other & can bond as caring about another person wanting to get help.
Many times Alanon & Alcoholic AA Members clash. Some males resent female
alcoholics because their wife or exwife is involved with alcohol. Also someone can be afraid of an alcoholic because of their own experience with one. Or an unthinking husband or wife can flaunt their being able to drink safely by drinking in front of a spouse just back from treatment.
The friends I have been lucky to make always are around somewhere...driving by or walking towards me in the post office....with a smile & a hello. It is just a small reward of many that makes me feel good about myself & others.
This knowledge I have gained through AA Meetings, books read, & personal experiences over the years. I sobered up when I was 48 & finished up a
BA Degree in Psychology when I was fifty. I then got a good job at a Mental Health Clinic where I worked mostly with the Elderly & all ages of adult alcoholics with a mental health dx. I am retired but did love my job. I wanted to be sober more than anything in my life. I worked very hard & used
the tools collected along the way to continue to stay sober.
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