I need help...there i said it
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
I think the thing to do is get back into the meeting schedule as well.
I always go OTT about having the support in 3-D.
What you're describing (or having trouble describing) is your Point of Perception.
When in the full blown codie thing -
the Point of Perception is completely that person.
When it should be with the Self
and the Self's connection with the Infinite.(put preferred name here)
NOTHING should be in between yourself -
andyour connection iwth what you understand and love as 'God'.
That should always be the FIRST prioritry
in all things.
So instead of sitting all tense on the couch
actively not checking on the person....
in other words doing nothing but NOT contacting....
One focuses instead
on the glory of the spring occurring
around above beside behind us.
We clean the cabintes.
We go outside and pick up a winter's worth of stuff in the yeard.
We get the oil changed in the car.
We get a new haircut.
maybe a color and a wax.
See what I'm saying?
The Point of Power is in the Present.
Right ... here.
That's that saying in recovery -
be where your hands are.
hope that helps.
I always go OTT about having the support in 3-D.
What you're describing (or having trouble describing) is your Point of Perception.
When in the full blown codie thing -
the Point of Perception is completely that person.
When it should be with the Self
and the Self's connection with the Infinite.(put preferred name here)
NOTHING should be in between yourself -
andyour connection iwth what you understand and love as 'God'.
That should always be the FIRST prioritry
in all things.
So instead of sitting all tense on the couch
actively not checking on the person....
in other words doing nothing but NOT contacting....
One focuses instead
on the glory of the spring occurring
around above beside behind us.
We clean the cabintes.
We go outside and pick up a winter's worth of stuff in the yeard.
We get the oil changed in the car.
We get a new haircut.
maybe a color and a wax.
See what I'm saying?
The Point of Power is in the Present.
Right ... here.
That's that saying in recovery -
be where your hands are.
hope that helps.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
Originally Posted by waiting801 
Coffee drinker... when I said I wanted somebody to just say its gonna be ok.. i was meaning when you tell someone you are sad or are just down... there are people who will say its ok but I am looking more towards the "its gonna be ok" along with a hug... the words are just words but the hug is worth so much more. which I know will have to come from somebody other than the addict.
you are so very much seeking comfort and affection from someone who simply cannot give it. it's kinda like this, isn't it?
keep going to al-anon, and i am hoping you will cultivate some friendships there. i think you need to be around people who affirm one another, and are just plain lovely.
and jadmack:
"Wish I could let go and let God zap you with a million volt lightning bolt."
i wish you could come to my parties. ok, i don't have very many parties, but i just wish you could come. i'd throw one.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: salt lake city utah
Posts: 28
I love this feeling of ME.... He is just laying on the couch all sad like an I am out playing with the dogs and cleaning the yard....yeaaaaa.....lol..
I didnt let the fact that we were supposed to make dinner together and he ate before I got home get to me... talk about selfish, he is!!! Im not reacting like before and it feels great to not let his bad attitude get me down.... score 1 for me 0 for him.
I didnt let the fact that we were supposed to make dinner together and he ate before I got home get to me... talk about selfish, he is!!! Im not reacting like before and it feels great to not let his bad attitude get me down.... score 1 for me 0 for him.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
I'm glad you liked the self-love exercises. I have put them together from different sources. One is a book by Louise Hay: You can Heal Your Life.
She advises the exercise of looking yourself in the mirror and saying: I Love You, (say your own name) and accept you exactly as you are.
Here's a funny, true story.
I read the book while still living with my active alcoholic husband. I was actively detaching and practicing self-love. I had put a post-it note on the bathroom mirror that said:
I love you
and accept you exactly as you are
(I would say my own name during the exercise.)
One evening I was on my computer and my husband came into the room and hugged me from behind and said:
"I love you too and accept you exactly as you are too baby"
Bahahaha! He thought I had left that note for him to read!
She advises the exercise of looking yourself in the mirror and saying: I Love You, (say your own name) and accept you exactly as you are.
Here's a funny, true story.
I read the book while still living with my active alcoholic husband. I was actively detaching and practicing self-love. I had put a post-it note on the bathroom mirror that said:
I love you
and accept you exactly as you are
(I would say my own name during the exercise.)
One evening I was on my computer and my husband came into the room and hugged me from behind and said:
"I love you too and accept you exactly as you are too baby"
Bahahaha! He thought I had left that note for him to read!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: salt lake city utah
Posts: 28
I finally went to my Alanon class last night after being away from them for a month... i cried for half of it... but i did feel better afterwards... I had to laugh because I told my husband I was going back and he told a couple times during the past week " you dont have to go your ok" I just think exactly how does he think I am ok??? He isnt in my mind!!
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