TakingCharge999

Well I dreamed I was on my way to work and I met XABF. He was dressed very nicely, bathed, lotion. We had to share the elevator and he was asking me about my plans later, and I asked "why do you want to know" and he answered "because I need someone to give me a ride" and I said "I knew you were after something, no surprise".

Not sure what happened afterwards but I recall I got annoyed and very angry.

I started banging XABF's head against the elevator doors. Once, twice, a third time and then the alarm went off and I thought "no, not yet, I do not want to leave this dream. I want to have another go. I want to kill him"


UGH well my mom says nightmares release stuff stored in our subconscious mind....

I wish I hadn't had XABF in the dreams anymore but it takes what it takes to be completely free of that shadow. I ask God/HP to bring me and you chances to release what keeps us stuck.

PS my first kickboxing lesson is ON tonight

PPS a friend plays World of Warcraft and has him as part of an enemy clan. I asked him to kill him online when he sees him, and he agreed

ItsmeAlice

TC, I agree with your mom and I also feel that dreams are a way our subconcious works through feelings that are too uncomfortable or dangerous to do in our waking life.

When I dream of XABF, it comes in a variety of ways. Sometimes, I feel indifference towards him in the context of the dream and I awake feeling I have been able to move on in my emotions over him. Sometimes I am actually a little sad when I wake up that I no longer have good feelings for him.

Other times, I am angry enough to do him harm and I awake feeling both satisifed that some pent up upset was released but also rather disturbed that I would actually act on those feelings if only in a dream.

Remind yourself that a dream is only that...a dream. It happens without your conscious consent and should not be a reason to feel you've done something wrong.

Your impending class could be on your mind and you could be anticipating working through your inner feelings in a physical way. When it comes to feeling anger, your X is probably one of the first causes that comes to mind.

I think this is a good sign that you need this outlet and the class will be therapeutic for you.

Your friend,
Alice

suki44883

There's a few people at work that I actually do ride in the elevator with that I would like to do that to.


...but I won't.

TakingCharge999

LoL

The bad thing is that I have let him rent more space in my mind today

Ugh.

And now I feel more angry. He truly has skated all this time. Its not a thought to torture myself, it is what I have seen day by day. Ugh. I let myself be hurt once again for what OTHERS do.

Well right now I will keep doing what I am doing and take it one breathe at a time. In 5 hours I will hopefully be kicking something....

((hugs))

Learn2Live

There are several people I also would like to do that to, two in particular who took up way too much space in my head today. Apparently there is some way of getting rid of that feeling of wanting to do those kinds of things. When you figure out how to let go of that, let me know

transformyself

Wow. That's a great dream. I'd like to see what happens if you ever have to actually ride in the elevator together. You'll probably bust trying to keep from laughing.

Keep working it out Girl. How was the kickboxing?

MaryGoRound

LMAO. That's actually pretty cool. I've always wanted to do kickboxing.

Too bad there isn't a class all of us could take. Boy o boy, we would be good students..wouldn't we?

I love dreams. They can feel so real can't they? You wake up feeling angry. I too have had very intense dreams about xABF. Except they weren't violent just really deep and symbolic. Apparently all the violent thoughts are right at the conscientiousness level for me. I don't know which is more dangerous for actually acting out on them...

haha. May you feel less angry in time. instead of cheers, "Kick!"