March 8th - Women's day?? my heart aches
A jug fills drop by drop
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
March 8th - Women's day?? my heart aches
This post mentions horrible realities, please don't read if you're too sensitive.
In my underdeveloped country
1 woman is raped every 3 minutes
1 woman out of 4 suffers domestic violence
1 woman out of 4 is harrased at work or public space
And yes indeed, that was me. I was raped. I was not married but in the months I have cohabitated with someone I would say verbal abuse counted as violence against me. Harrasment? there is not ONE DAY where I can go about my business without someone giving a cat call, murmuring something, shouting, whistling etc. and I dress rather conservatively.
Then I remember other instances of violence come to mind:
-feminicide in ciudad juarez. the news today? how the local football team beat some other. oh wait.. a very famous football player was shot in a bar recently and the news are all about how he is getting better, now eating, etc. etc.
if you are male, famous, rich and play football, your life matters.
-finland: 40% of women have experienced violence from men. supposedly an advanced country with a female prime minister, etc.
-thailand: I recall how foreigners (mainly US/german citizens) went there in packs attracted by the prostitution at certain beaches. I recall seeing how a teenager was sold by her mother to two young foreigners. Plain sight during the day.
Now, my sister being an activist I know of worse things.
-FARC: women kidnapped, sometimes tortured, left on the sun for days without food or water.
-pakistan (and sadly many other countries): women being thrown acid on the face for refusing sexual advances, refusing marriage, or whatever. perpetrators living free. some perpetrators in jail... saying they did nothing wrong.
-conakry: women were raped by groups of army officials. one was raped using a gun who was later shot. the army officials searched for the few women who were brave enough to go to the hospitals... some were kidnapped, some were killed so they wouldnt identify anyone.
I have been working on my anger and I realize I got LOTS OF IT against males in general not only XABF. I see it in my little microcosmos nowadays. Yesterday I had a great day as well, was at home then guy arrives and mentions "you look like s*** with those hair extensions"
I left to walk a little. I got very very angry. We are supposedly building trust then he says or does stuff like that. It's exhausting. I see very very clearly how my life can be better alone.
He ended up crying for the 2nd time in one week, and apologizing. I ended up packing my stuff and telling him sorry, he may be a good person but I am not going to spend my time educating him.
He insisted he wants to change... so I told him "ok, go to a therapist, get your frustrations and anger out with a pro not me". Meanwhile I am seeing how to get out that place. He said he would be the one leaving because he can't pay. But I don't trust him.
The ultimate martyrs."why do YOU get angry?" "it was your fault for dressing with a miniskirt" "she should have known" "why are YOU so cruel?"
The lack of acknowledgment on their role .Yes that is what makes me angry. I ready "males have to change their attitude" well how can they change anything if they don't even acknowledge or accept what they say and do??
No peace at work, no peace on the street, no peace at home either? I am at a loss and my heart aches today.
Just had to get this out in a safe place. Thank you.
In my underdeveloped country
1 woman is raped every 3 minutes
1 woman out of 4 suffers domestic violence
1 woman out of 4 is harrased at work or public space
And yes indeed, that was me. I was raped. I was not married but in the months I have cohabitated with someone I would say verbal abuse counted as violence against me. Harrasment? there is not ONE DAY where I can go about my business without someone giving a cat call, murmuring something, shouting, whistling etc. and I dress rather conservatively.
Then I remember other instances of violence come to mind:
-feminicide in ciudad juarez. the news today? how the local football team beat some other. oh wait.. a very famous football player was shot in a bar recently and the news are all about how he is getting better, now eating, etc. etc.
if you are male, famous, rich and play football, your life matters.
-finland: 40% of women have experienced violence from men. supposedly an advanced country with a female prime minister, etc.
-thailand: I recall how foreigners (mainly US/german citizens) went there in packs attracted by the prostitution at certain beaches. I recall seeing how a teenager was sold by her mother to two young foreigners. Plain sight during the day.
Now, my sister being an activist I know of worse things.
-FARC: women kidnapped, sometimes tortured, left on the sun for days without food or water.
-pakistan (and sadly many other countries): women being thrown acid on the face for refusing sexual advances, refusing marriage, or whatever. perpetrators living free. some perpetrators in jail... saying they did nothing wrong.
-conakry: women were raped by groups of army officials. one was raped using a gun who was later shot. the army officials searched for the few women who were brave enough to go to the hospitals... some were kidnapped, some were killed so they wouldnt identify anyone.
I have been working on my anger and I realize I got LOTS OF IT against males in general not only XABF. I see it in my little microcosmos nowadays. Yesterday I had a great day as well, was at home then guy arrives and mentions "you look like s*** with those hair extensions"
I left to walk a little. I got very very angry. We are supposedly building trust then he says or does stuff like that. It's exhausting. I see very very clearly how my life can be better alone.
He ended up crying for the 2nd time in one week, and apologizing. I ended up packing my stuff and telling him sorry, he may be a good person but I am not going to spend my time educating him.
He insisted he wants to change... so I told him "ok, go to a therapist, get your frustrations and anger out with a pro not me". Meanwhile I am seeing how to get out that place. He said he would be the one leaving because he can't pay. But I don't trust him.
The ultimate martyrs."why do YOU get angry?" "it was your fault for dressing with a miniskirt" "she should have known" "why are YOU so cruel?"
The lack of acknowledgment on their role .Yes that is what makes me angry. I ready "males have to change their attitude" well how can they change anything if they don't even acknowledge or accept what they say and do??
No peace at work, no peace on the street, no peace at home either? I am at a loss and my heart aches today.
Just had to get this out in a safe place. Thank you.
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Posts: 1,375
(((takingcharge)))
suckage. You deserve better than that. He makes me MAD (for you!)
If you can't control peace in the world, you can at least control it at home.
I know you probably don't want to hear this now, but save it for later...
My mom, as an active, active (did I mention active?) feminist is involved in a number of things to siphon the frustration.
Women On The Edge Of Evolution
Marianne Williamson presents Sister Giant
Gather the Women Global Matrix
Home (Ways Women Lead)
International Women's Organization for International Women's Issues - Soroptimist International
And if that doesn't overwhelm you, you could get lost forever in the following:
Activist Web Sites for Women's Issues
Have fun!
suckage. You deserve better than that. He makes me MAD (for you!)
If you can't control peace in the world, you can at least control it at home.
I know you probably don't want to hear this now, but save it for later...
My mom, as an active, active (did I mention active?) feminist is involved in a number of things to siphon the frustration.
Women On The Edge Of Evolution
Marianne Williamson presents Sister Giant
Gather the Women Global Matrix
Home (Ways Women Lead)
International Women's Organization for International Women's Issues - Soroptimist International
And if that doesn't overwhelm you, you could get lost forever in the following:
Activist Web Sites for Women's Issues
Have fun!
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