My grandmother just passed away
 

My paternal grandmother, the only grandparent I had left, died this morning all the way in southern California. She died at home, surrounded by family, at the ripe and beautiful age of 93.

She had been a pioneer midwife back in Viet-Nam, lying about her age to enter midwifery school at the age of 16. She married young and had 5 children of her own, all the while delivering babies left right and center in remote towns and villages near Hanoi. When she was two months pregnant with my father, her husband, an army doctor, died in some stupid squirmish between the VietCong and whatever army they fought with at the time. She was a strong willful woman who got involved in politics, becoming a capitalist deputee. When the war came, she quietly moved her children and all the extended family she could lay her hands on out of the country and narrowly avoided being decapitated herself, along with all the other capitalist deputee the communist got rid her. She fled to France, then Canada, finally to settle in Southern California, where she continued midwifery education and raising her family.

I didn't know my grandmother that well, but what I did that she had a LOT of personality. She told my mother she liked me best, out of all her grandchildren, because I was loud-mouthed and stubborn, just like her. :) Also, like other women of her time, she was a survivor. She'd been through heart problems, breast cancer, double mastectomy, and later on, colon cancer.

She had been suffering from a generalized cancer for the past few months, and kept having stroke after stroke. Having heard the predictions of an astrologer she trusted, she believed she would die alone in a hospital, so she begged her eldest daughter to let her die at home. At great personal cost, my aunt agreed. The toll this has taken on my father's family has been great. They are all doctors and pharmacists, so they all knew things were coming to an end but that my grandmother could hang on for weeks. Last night, they were discussing whether or not to give her morphine to help her pass.

Finally, after many months of suffering, she is at peace.

I will miss her but I am thankful to HP that she isn't suffering any longer, and that my family can begin to grieve her. They've been in this horrible holding pattern for months, watching her die slowly.

Thanks for listening.

She sounds like a wonderful woman. (I too am a midwife.)
My loving thoughts and prayers are with you and I am glad she is at peace.

I'm sorry to know of your loss. She sounds like quite a woman.

What a woman!

:grouphug:

I'm sorry for your loss. She was an amazing woman.

Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. Don't know what Viet Namese folks do when a loved one dies, but I believe she's still hanging around, dishing out some strength and love to you, her favorite grand daughter!

It's wonderful that the rest of your family was able to put their beliefs aside and endured great difficulty to allow her to die at home. all my kids were born at home, and I pray to be able to die at home as well. Yes, it's difficult for those around us, but its' infinitley better than in the damn hospital. Think of all the work it takes for a mother to be in a holding pattern waiting for her baby to decide it's time to come out. It's her work to do alone, really.

After all the babies your grandmother helped into this world, I'm glad she was able to be at home when it was time to leave as well.

Keeping you in my prayers.

im so sorry for your 1oss xxxxkia

What a beautiful story.

I´m so sorry for your loss.

:grouphug:

I am sorry about your Grandmother. What a great life she lived - strong woman eh?

peace & prayers for you-
b

Truly amazing woman...and beautifully written.
My thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Hugs.

I am so sorry for your loss. Your grandmother sounds like an incredible woman, and you do such a wonderful job of describing her. My prayers are with you and your family in this difficult time.

thank you for sharing your sad news. she sure lived a long, full, and no-doubt beautiful life.

Praise God for women of such strength, courage and depth of feeling as your Grandmother, and for passing those genes on to you. She benefited those in childbirth, and you benefit us here.

" May mà bạn cảm thấy tình yêu chữa bệnh và tiện nghi xung quanh bạn."

God bless

What an amazing woman, your in my prayers and sorry for your loss

Thanks for sharing your grandmother's story. I'm sorry to hear of her passing, and am wishing her and you and your family much peace.

pp

I'm sorry to hear of your loss and thankful you shared the amazing story of her life. If I could be so brave..... What a great lady!