Remember to laugh.
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Remember to laugh.
Been reading a lot here and feeling some pangs of anger when I read of those in active addiction and how their actions affect their loved ones.
Gets me riled up thinking of XABF and how he'll never acknowledge all that he did that was senseless and hurtful to me and our family. Grr.
...and then some random thought pops into my head when I see a beer commercial on TV and I remember how XABF used to put out his cigarettes in his half empty beer bottle when bingeing then forget and take a big 'ole swig of the bottle next to him and end up with two butts and a mouthful of nasty. Ewwww.
Is that HP reminding me that XABF didn't exactly skate by without any consequences?
Either way, I almost ended up with juice out my nose. Thanks for the giggle God
Alice
Gets me riled up thinking of XABF and how he'll never acknowledge all that he did that was senseless and hurtful to me and our family. Grr.
...and then some random thought pops into my head when I see a beer commercial on TV and I remember how XABF used to put out his cigarettes in his half empty beer bottle when bingeing then forget and take a big 'ole swig of the bottle next to him and end up with two butts and a mouthful of nasty. Ewwww.
Is that HP reminding me that XABF didn't exactly skate by without any consequences?
Either way, I almost ended up with juice out my nose. Thanks for the giggle God
Alice
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Join Date: Jan 2010
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o man that is funny!
God can be very funny. Fof me, I notice all the irony all the time and that gives me a good laugh.
The only funny thing that ever happened for me was I drew on xabf. Its disturbing how even when was wasted out of his mind his was less clumsy than me sober. *shudders*
God can be very funny. Fof me, I notice all the irony all the time and that gives me a good laugh.
The only funny thing that ever happened for me was I drew on xabf. Its disturbing how even when was wasted out of his mind his was less clumsy than me sober. *shudders*
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I keep thinking on this and wonder if I was just laughing at his expense in remembering such a thing, and I know it can be seen that way.
But I don't think it's about laughing at him at all.
I think of all the little human errors that, at the start of our relationship, would send us both into giggles....drinking bad milk by mistake, dribbling ketchup on a shirt, sitting in gum, and yes swigging a beer with a butt left in it...you know the stuff you hate when it happens but laugh at it later. This stuff was always happening to both of us, and we could always laugh together at it. I miss that!
At the end of our relationship when his drinking was so bad such an stupid thing would be a great source of rage for XABF, and if I giggled at witnessing it, God help me, that would turn his rage to me.
I'd like to see this memory that got me laughing as a reminder that it's okay to laugh at life's mustard stains, and no one should have to fear someone's wrath because it prompted a quick belly laugh.
Alice
But I don't think it's about laughing at him at all.
I think of all the little human errors that, at the start of our relationship, would send us both into giggles....drinking bad milk by mistake, dribbling ketchup on a shirt, sitting in gum, and yes swigging a beer with a butt left in it...you know the stuff you hate when it happens but laugh at it later. This stuff was always happening to both of us, and we could always laugh together at it. I miss that!
At the end of our relationship when his drinking was so bad such an stupid thing would be a great source of rage for XABF, and if I giggled at witnessing it, God help me, that would turn his rage to me.
I'd like to see this memory that got me laughing as a reminder that it's okay to laugh at life's mustard stains, and no one should have to fear someone's wrath because it prompted a quick belly laugh.
Alice
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Join Date: Jan 2010
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Posts: 324
Yes! This is a profound realization for me...
Ya no, with A's you're always walking on eggshells...You can't even cope with life in a healthy way (i.e. laughing at mishaps) or in the way that us non-alcoholic's cope. Because it shakes their whole addiction sweep-it-under-the rug/don't- acknowledge-uncomfortable-things-of-life thing.
And yes, many terrible, sad things happen in life..But being strong and enlightened enough to be able to laugh at them is a HUGE gift. Some of us can be beaten down by life and still laugh! Without chemicals!!!!
Haha. You're so great Alice. Everything you post in here I can relate to. You seem like the type of person that would be a friend of mine. I don't know a lot about you, but I get a vibe you're into the same stuff and around the same age as me.
I really like the home here @ SR. We're all in this together and its so great.
Ya no, with A's you're always walking on eggshells...You can't even cope with life in a healthy way (i.e. laughing at mishaps) or in the way that us non-alcoholic's cope. Because it shakes their whole addiction sweep-it-under-the rug/don't- acknowledge-uncomfortable-things-of-life thing.
And yes, many terrible, sad things happen in life..But being strong and enlightened enough to be able to laugh at them is a HUGE gift. Some of us can be beaten down by life and still laugh! Without chemicals!!!!
Haha. You're so great Alice. Everything you post in here I can relate to. You seem like the type of person that would be a friend of mine. I don't know a lot about you, but I get a vibe you're into the same stuff and around the same age as me.
I really like the home here @ SR. We're all in this together and its so great.
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Some of us can be beaten down by life and still laugh!
When I first came year just over a year ago, I think I had really lost this part of myself.
It wasn't long, though, with the support of the folks here that I started to laugh again.
A week ago, I spent the day with my Mom, which is something I have to prepare for due to our codependency issues. With the tools I've learned in recovery I was able to spend the day with her laughing, cooking, crafting, and doing little repairs around the house for her.
I was still giggling when I arrived back home close to midnight. It was a great day. Something I couldn't have had with her before I came here.
Hey Mary, I'm liking your vibe, too!!
Alice
When I first came year just over a year ago, I think I had really lost this part of myself.
It wasn't long, though, with the support of the folks here that I started to laugh again.
A week ago, I spent the day with my Mom, which is something I have to prepare for due to our codependency issues. With the tools I've learned in recovery I was able to spend the day with her laughing, cooking, crafting, and doing little repairs around the house for her.
I was still giggling when I arrived back home close to midnight. It was a great day. Something I couldn't have had with her before I came here.
Hey Mary, I'm liking your vibe, too!!
Alice
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
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Yes, it just occurs to me that little mishaps I saw as funny, were disasters or setups to an active A in paranoid mode, so I didn't dare laugh either.
I can remember when RABF was drunk as, couldn't get off the floor and wanted me to help him up.....I refused.....so got abused and had "I suppose you think it's funny?"
That is when I really lost it. My reply..." No, not funny..Pathetic, and so are you." Got myself out of there and when he got in contact later on, he was given the boot and I went NC. Even called cops twice, when he turned up at my home drunk, and was refused entry but stuck round.
I wanted to see him, hear how he was, anything to end the pain and emptiness.....but I knew that if I gave in then, I would condemn myself to more angina, stress and possibly death.
I think this is why I see something comical in some posts and have to hunt for a fun image to post back. It isn't because I am belittling someone, their story or feelings, but just that somewhere in the darkest post, maybe I find a little spark of satire.
Blame my Aussie, rebellious and irreverent sense of humour.
God bless
I can remember when RABF was drunk as, couldn't get off the floor and wanted me to help him up.....I refused.....so got abused and had "I suppose you think it's funny?"
That is when I really lost it. My reply..." No, not funny..Pathetic, and so are you." Got myself out of there and when he got in contact later on, he was given the boot and I went NC. Even called cops twice, when he turned up at my home drunk, and was refused entry but stuck round.
I wanted to see him, hear how he was, anything to end the pain and emptiness.....but I knew that if I gave in then, I would condemn myself to more angina, stress and possibly death.
I think this is why I see something comical in some posts and have to hunt for a fun image to post back. It isn't because I am belittling someone, their story or feelings, but just that somewhere in the darkest post, maybe I find a little spark of satire.
Blame my Aussie, rebellious and irreverent sense of humour.
God bless
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,175
Sometimes when I recall or retell stories of the things that my A has put us through... Especially the stories involving other women, I can get a real chuckle out of it.
I have to be pretty removed from the time frame, but, I will sometimes think of it as a movie scene, and just laugh and laugh. He really did put himself into some compromising positions...LOL.
Once, when he was still my boyfriend, he had been staying across town with a mutual male friend. One night, I spoke with him around midnight, and went to sleep. As many of us know, the alcoholics night can sometimes just be beginning at 12 midnight!
The next afternoon, I got a call,
" HI, hey, I just want to say right away that I am really sorry. I was passed out when that girl answered your call. I mean, why were you calling at 4am anyhow? But, I just want you to know I don't even know that girl. BUt, she said that you were on your way over, that you sounded p*ssed and you were screaming about 'who the f*ck was answering' my phone. BUt, I guess you never arrived...I know you must be really mad, why are you so quiet? ...I swear I don't even know the girl that had my phone..."
I replied,
"Well, I do not know who was answering your phone at 4am either. And I am also not clear on who was calling your phone at 4am, screaming about who you were with, as I was asleep since midnight. So tell me, who was that girl calling you at 4am when this OTHER girl answered your phone?"
The silence on the other line was thick. I was shaking with anger. I was pregnant at the time with his child... but years later when I think about it, the silence on the line, the way he tried to yammer his way out of it. PLease, this is what great screenplays are made of.
There is always room for comedy in my life!!
I have to be pretty removed from the time frame, but, I will sometimes think of it as a movie scene, and just laugh and laugh. He really did put himself into some compromising positions...LOL.
Once, when he was still my boyfriend, he had been staying across town with a mutual male friend. One night, I spoke with him around midnight, and went to sleep. As many of us know, the alcoholics night can sometimes just be beginning at 12 midnight!
The next afternoon, I got a call,
" HI, hey, I just want to say right away that I am really sorry. I was passed out when that girl answered your call. I mean, why were you calling at 4am anyhow? But, I just want you to know I don't even know that girl. BUt, she said that you were on your way over, that you sounded p*ssed and you were screaming about 'who the f*ck was answering' my phone. BUt, I guess you never arrived...I know you must be really mad, why are you so quiet? ...I swear I don't even know the girl that had my phone..."
I replied,
"Well, I do not know who was answering your phone at 4am either. And I am also not clear on who was calling your phone at 4am, screaming about who you were with, as I was asleep since midnight. So tell me, who was that girl calling you at 4am when this OTHER girl answered your phone?"
The silence on the other line was thick. I was shaking with anger. I was pregnant at the time with his child... but years later when I think about it, the silence on the line, the way he tried to yammer his way out of it. PLease, this is what great screenplays are made of.
There is always room for comedy in my life!!
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