We're unemployed now..............
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Seattle
Posts: 13
We're unemployed now..............
My rollercoaster just goes on and on. Yesterday my husband walked out of his job. 
As I have said before, he is falling apart fast, and so this was really no surprise. I have known I would have to get a job for awhile now because I couldn't depend on him. I have been a stay at home mom since my 9 year old was born, and now I will have to work full time and put my 2 year old in daycare. I am mad, sad, scared, confused, etc. etc..... I don't know how I will be able to pay the rent, bills AND afford daycare as well. I'm mad at myself that I didn't plan ahead better. We were already living paycheck to paycheck, so I need to get a job fast. I hate the idea of being away from my little boy all day. UGH. In the meantime, my husband's mother told him if he didn't go into treatment he couldnt' live w/ her any longer, so he is going back into inpatient treatment for the second time in less than a year. I should be happy or something, but I feel so jaded. I have doubts about whether it will help, especially since he's going because she gave him an ultimatum. She asked my opinion and I said I thought she should just kick him out and let him figure it out, but she cant' imagine doing that with him having no other place to go. She cant' see that thats the whole point, but whatever.
On the positive side, I have felt very strong dealing with my H. He has been mean and nasty to me and I have been able to be calm and let it go in one ear and out the other. That is new for me, actually, that is HUGE for me! I don't know where it's coming from. This must be what it is like when you turn it over to your HP? This is something I have only begun to be able to do very recently. It sure helps and brings me some peace. Just needed to talk again. Thanks everybody.
As I have said before, he is falling apart fast, and so this was really no surprise. I have known I would have to get a job for awhile now because I couldn't depend on him. I have been a stay at home mom since my 9 year old was born, and now I will have to work full time and put my 2 year old in daycare. I am mad, sad, scared, confused, etc. etc..... I don't know how I will be able to pay the rent, bills AND afford daycare as well. I'm mad at myself that I didn't plan ahead better. We were already living paycheck to paycheck, so I need to get a job fast. I hate the idea of being away from my little boy all day. UGH. In the meantime, my husband's mother told him if he didn't go into treatment he couldnt' live w/ her any longer, so he is going back into inpatient treatment for the second time in less than a year. I should be happy or something, but I feel so jaded. I have doubts about whether it will help, especially since he's going because she gave him an ultimatum. She asked my opinion and I said I thought she should just kick him out and let him figure it out, but she cant' imagine doing that with him having no other place to go. She cant' see that thats the whole point, but whatever. On the positive side, I have felt very strong dealing with my H. He has been mean and nasty to me and I have been able to be calm and let it go in one ear and out the other. That is new for me, actually, that is HUGE for me! I don't know where it's coming from. This must be what it is like when you turn it over to your HP? This is something I have only begun to be able to do very recently. It sure helps and brings me some peace. Just needed to talk again. Thanks everybody.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: California
Posts: 329
Hello veggiemom,
I know you are frustrated! Both me and my husband(who is the alcoholic) work and we live paycheck to paycheck. There is just one thing after another happening. I just pray to be blessed with a way to pay our bills and somehow, someway they get payed. Better late than never!!
You have been blessed being able to stay home as long as you were able to with your children. The longest I was able to be home with the kids was after my third I took a four month extended leave- of- absense because I knew that was going to be our last one. She was born Oct 1st so I didn't go back till the middle of Jan. She will be 15 this coming week and it seems like yesterday! Remember to focus on the positive. It will all work out for the best......have faith!!!!
Hugs and lots of Prayers,
matters
I know you are frustrated! Both me and my husband(who is the alcoholic) work and we live paycheck to paycheck. There is just one thing after another happening. I just pray to be blessed with a way to pay our bills and somehow, someway they get payed. Better late than never!!
You have been blessed being able to stay home as long as you were able to with your children. The longest I was able to be home with the kids was after my third I took a four month extended leave- of- absense because I knew that was going to be our last one. She was born Oct 1st so I didn't go back till the middle of Jan. She will be 15 this coming week and it seems like yesterday! Remember to focus on the positive. It will all work out for the best......have faith!!!!
Hugs and lots of Prayers,
matters
Member
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: utah
Posts: 42
veggiemom,
I understand how you feel. I stayed home with my twins for 9 months when they were born and my husband got in such bad shape I knew I had better go back to work. Good thing too because he got fired about 2 months later. He got another job and left it after 3months and is currently unemployed, not living with us, and I'm thankful I have my job. It is sad and frustrating I know. I'm sure you feel he's ruining part of your life. They don't seem to understand that their drinking affects their spouse's life almost more than their own! You're in my thoughts, be thankful for the time you've had with your kids and just keep moving forward...
paige
I understand how you feel. I stayed home with my twins for 9 months when they were born and my husband got in such bad shape I knew I had better go back to work. Good thing too because he got fired about 2 months later. He got another job and left it after 3months and is currently unemployed, not living with us, and I'm thankful I have my job. It is sad and frustrating I know. I'm sure you feel he's ruining part of your life. They don't seem to understand that their drinking affects their spouse's life almost more than their own! You're in my thoughts, be thankful for the time you've had with your kids and just keep moving forward...
paige
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
I know this is not for everyone but I got licensed and was a daycare provider for 8 years when the Beav was growing up. I thought being home with him was wise...well we all know how that turned out. I must say it was great money and I do like being home.
Then when things got bad with the Beav he would use the fact that I had the kiddies in my home to run right over me. He knew I would not have the conflict with them in the house. So I got a job outside the home.
Hugs,
JT
Then when things got bad with the Beav he would use the fact that I had the kiddies in my home to run right over me. He knew I would not have the conflict with them in the house. So I got a job outside the home.
Hugs,
JT
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Seattle
Posts: 13
Oh, you are all so right about the fact that I have to be grateful for the time I've been able to stay home. That is so true and when I look at it that way, I feel so much better!!
Gabe, yes, I will say a prayer for you as well.
JT, funny you mention the daycare thing, I have been considering doing just that for awhile now. In fact, just today I checked out about the licensing requirements. It would be a great solution my only worry is health insurance for myself and the kids. What did you do about that? If I could count on Scott getting a job when he gets back from rehab as he says he will (eyes rolling) I would not have that worry, but I know I can't count on him, I need to cover my bases and take care of us myself.
ANYWAY, thanks for the replies everyone, I have to say again how grateful I am to be here and hopefully over time I can return some of the help everyone here is giving me.
Gabe, yes, I will say a prayer for you as well.
JT, funny you mention the daycare thing, I have been considering doing just that for awhile now. In fact, just today I checked out about the licensing requirements. It would be a great solution my only worry is health insurance for myself and the kids. What did you do about that? If I could count on Scott getting a job when he gets back from rehab as he says he will (eyes rolling) I would not have that worry, but I know I can't count on him, I need to cover my bases and take care of us myself.
ANYWAY, thanks for the replies everyone, I have to say again how grateful I am to be here and hopefully over time I can return some of the help everyone here is giving me.
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Veggiemom,
Ward has always carried the health insurance...so that was not an issue with me.
There are a couple of other hitches that you might not be thinking of. Your income will show as really low...great, right? Not when you apply for a mortgage or car loan. There are so many write offs based on the number of hours you are in business and the space of your home that is used. Like the phone, heat, electric, pool chemicals, toilet paper...you name it. So even licensed it is almost a cash business.
Ward made enough that my low (on paper) income did not matter when we applied for credit.
And how stable is your marrage? Your income would be tied to your living there. Will he get a job w/ insurance? You could pay for a bit. Check prices.
I am not trying to discourage you at all...just look at the whole thing. You will be PAYING daycare for your 2 year old...and after school care for your other child.
Do your homework! There is an upside and a down side.
Hugs,
JT
Hugs,
JT
Ward has always carried the health insurance...so that was not an issue with me.
There are a couple of other hitches that you might not be thinking of. Your income will show as really low...great, right? Not when you apply for a mortgage or car loan. There are so many write offs based on the number of hours you are in business and the space of your home that is used. Like the phone, heat, electric, pool chemicals, toilet paper...you name it. So even licensed it is almost a cash business.
Ward made enough that my low (on paper) income did not matter when we applied for credit.
And how stable is your marrage? Your income would be tied to your living there. Will he get a job w/ insurance? You could pay for a bit. Check prices.
I am not trying to discourage you at all...just look at the whole thing. You will be PAYING daycare for your 2 year old...and after school care for your other child.
Do your homework! There is an upside and a down side.
Hugs,
JT
Hugs,
JT
Paused
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Iowa USA
Posts: 102
Glad you are feeling better. The sad fact is - unless he truly goes into recovery, this time was coming sooner or later, so maybe it is now.
We buy our health insurance privately, through the Farm Bureau, though there are lots of places that sell it. We have a big deductible and it still costs $400 per month. So - if you go for a job, try for one with health insurance included, be sure to ask what the cost is, some are better than others.
We buy our health insurance privately, through the Farm Bureau, though there are lots of places that sell it. We have a big deductible and it still costs $400 per month. So - if you go for a job, try for one with health insurance included, be sure to ask what the cost is, some are better than others.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
