The Good Guy....
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 689
The Good Guy....
The following was an article in a newspaper years ago. I actually have it lamenated on my refridgerator. I clearly forgot all about what I really want from a man this past year!....but I have found it again and wanted to share it with all of you.
Funny enough, when I first started talking to my XA he was EVERYTHING that was on this list, because he kept his REAL self very well hidden. The idea that I lost what this list was..... has been devistating! And then I realized, he was NEVER any of these things. I didn't lose anything.
This is the guideline to what everyone single one of you deserves from your partner.
Let's not forget to NOT settle for less....
"AND THEN THERE'S THE GOOD GUY
You want a man who can make you laugh when you're down and who laughs with you when you're up,
A man who listens and asks questions and responds.
A man who rubs your feet to put you to sleep and who goes out for cafe mochas when you have to stay up,
A man who knows that in those working all nightters the answer to any question involving whipped cream is yes.
You want a man who'll wash your hair, who'll cook you dinner, who'll talk to your father on the phone when you can't bear to.
A man who'll read to you on trips, and who's happy when you read (or sing or dance) for him.
You want a man who when he finds out that there are $199 fares to Kona suggests you go with your girlfriends while he stays home and takes care of your dog.
You want a man who will drive that same dog around all night when he is hallucinating and howling after the vet gave him too much postsurgical morphine, because you are up for a promotion and have an interview with the dean at 8am.
You want a man who loves many things, his work, his landscape, a sports team, his friends.
You want a man who knows that love is not a pie, that sex is not a sport, that faith (in the world and each other) is a little like a full time job.
You want a man who knows that women have a secret, and even though he can't know what it is, he is smart enough to want to live in its light.
Most important, you want a man who can continue to surprise you, for a week, a month, a year, a lifetime, which is to say a man who has a big imagination and who is willing to use it to win your heart. "
Funny enough, when I first started talking to my XA he was EVERYTHING that was on this list, because he kept his REAL self very well hidden. The idea that I lost what this list was..... has been devistating! And then I realized, he was NEVER any of these things. I didn't lose anything.
This is the guideline to what everyone single one of you deserves from your partner.
Let's not forget to NOT settle for less....
"AND THEN THERE'S THE GOOD GUY
You want a man who can make you laugh when you're down and who laughs with you when you're up,
A man who listens and asks questions and responds.
A man who rubs your feet to put you to sleep and who goes out for cafe mochas when you have to stay up,
A man who knows that in those working all nightters the answer to any question involving whipped cream is yes.
You want a man who'll wash your hair, who'll cook you dinner, who'll talk to your father on the phone when you can't bear to.
A man who'll read to you on trips, and who's happy when you read (or sing or dance) for him.
You want a man who when he finds out that there are $199 fares to Kona suggests you go with your girlfriends while he stays home and takes care of your dog.
You want a man who will drive that same dog around all night when he is hallucinating and howling after the vet gave him too much postsurgical morphine, because you are up for a promotion and have an interview with the dean at 8am.
You want a man who loves many things, his work, his landscape, a sports team, his friends.
You want a man who knows that love is not a pie, that sex is not a sport, that faith (in the world and each other) is a little like a full time job.
You want a man who knows that women have a secret, and even though he can't know what it is, he is smart enough to want to live in its light.
Most important, you want a man who can continue to surprise you, for a week, a month, a year, a lifetime, which is to say a man who has a big imagination and who is willing to use it to win your heart. "
so sad!! Gosh!
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PM me
Posts: 324
I'm so glad u posted this.
Because it so real and attainable. I like the specific use of examples instead of all that pop psychology stuff we see all over the place....it helps me understand what a "good guy" really looks like.
Yeah I know I deserve an emotionally available partner, but what does that even look like? Haha. My experiences are people who need help and then the people who treat you just like a "sport" - these people might not have "issues" but man can they still make you feel like crap. I always had a cynical thought of oh, they're just "good" until they get into your pants. Lol...I realize now how never seeing these qualities growing up, has distorted my perception.
So thanks for the etched out, realistic depiction of a good guy! This is exciting! Exciting to see how healthy people support each other in other ways than giving someone flowers or insert other cliche that bores me to tears.
Because it so real and attainable. I like the specific use of examples instead of all that pop psychology stuff we see all over the place....it helps me understand what a "good guy" really looks like.
Yeah I know I deserve an emotionally available partner, but what does that even look like? Haha. My experiences are people who need help and then the people who treat you just like a "sport" - these people might not have "issues" but man can they still make you feel like crap. I always had a cynical thought of oh, they're just "good" until they get into your pants. Lol...I realize now how never seeing these qualities growing up, has distorted my perception.
So thanks for the etched out, realistic depiction of a good guy! This is exciting! Exciting to see how healthy people support each other in other ways than giving someone flowers or insert other cliche that bores me to tears.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 689
Mary- I'm right there with you.."what DOES an emotionally available man look like??"
I can say that I have seen it first hand, certainly not from my parents, but my grandparents were married 60 years, and my aunt and uncle going on 45 I think....and they truly are THAT couple.
It is always good to know that those men do exist, and yes, I believe they do!
I can say that I have seen it first hand, certainly not from my parents, but my grandparents were married 60 years, and my aunt and uncle going on 45 I think....and they truly are THAT couple.
It is always good to know that those men do exist, and yes, I believe they do!
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