STBXAH acting as if I'm the scary one
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NY
Posts: 126
STBXAH acting as if I'm the scary one
The day after the 24 phone calls to me and several harrassing my sister, he called me to tell me that he wanted "no more dealings" with me until his mother arrives. I'm like "excuse me, but you called here 24 times yesterday!". He had no comment but persisted in acting as if I am the nut!!!
Later the same day, he called a few times again and then started calling my parents, who refuse to speak with him.
He's playing this bipolar game with me again too - because I have it, all of a sudden he claims that I'm a complete nightmare to be married to and he's the victim. Never mind the fact that I am the one who is treated for my problems while he is in complete denial. And, of course all of these complaints arose after I started going to Al Anon, coming here, and setting boundaries.
I cannot wait until this divorce s over!!!
Later the same day, he called a few times again and then started calling my parents, who refuse to speak with him.
He's playing this bipolar game with me again too - because I have it, all of a sudden he claims that I'm a complete nightmare to be married to and he's the victim. Never mind the fact that I am the one who is treated for my problems while he is in complete denial. And, of course all of these complaints arose after I started going to Al Anon, coming here, and setting boundaries.
I cannot wait until this divorce s over!!!
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
Oyah, I remember the "poor me" game. XAH played it with me during our marriage, anytime I made noise about wanting to call it quits. *He* had been victimized by my stripping every night of the week to support his lazy butt; *he* had suffered because of my "intolerance and inacceptance" of his drinking, sniffing cocaine, verbal abuse, violent behaviour, etc etc. Oh poor him. I really feel his pain.
Sad...can you hear that? It's the World's SMALLEST VIOLIN, and it's playing for your STBX!!!
Sad...can you hear that? It's the World's SMALLEST VIOLIN, and it's playing for your STBX!!!
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by nodaybut2day 
*he* had suffered because of my "intolerance and inacceptance" of his drinking, sniffing cocaine, verbal abuse, violent behaviour, etc etc.
I didn't let him taking shots after shots till past out!
I didn't support his cocaine use, so he have to hide in bathroom to do it!
I refuse to smoke him up with my money!
I am the scary one and need to see a dc.
He use to call me after we have a big fight about this and he went out having his business as usual. I use to thinking I am the one to blam even got antidepressing med for it!
They r the one have more problems and that's really scary!
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
Rapid fire phone calls, trying to contact anyone and everyone, and now he's a victim and you are a raving lunatic.....
Well, that's sounds like an alcoholic to me.
He is tossing everything your way but the kitchen sink. He will run out of ammo and steam eventually. Just keep doing what you're doing.
I know it's hard. It's like you're trying to sit peacefully on your side of the street and he keeps marching up and down on the other side yelling, "Notice me, notice me, I'm an alcoholic who needs someone to blame, talk to me, let me come over so I can yell at you! If you don't, I won't feel better! Hey, Hey, are you listening?"
Hang in there SBH, you can drown him out with your own recovery and happiness. It does work and it does get better.
Blessings,
Alice
Well, that's sounds like an alcoholic to me.
He is tossing everything your way but the kitchen sink. He will run out of ammo and steam eventually. Just keep doing what you're doing.
I know it's hard. It's like you're trying to sit peacefully on your side of the street and he keeps marching up and down on the other side yelling, "Notice me, notice me, I'm an alcoholic who needs someone to blame, talk to me, let me come over so I can yell at you! If you don't, I won't feel better! Hey, Hey, are you listening?"
Hang in there SBH, you can drown him out with your own recovery and happiness. It does work and it does get better.
Blessings,
Alice
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