Suggestions re Al-Anon sponsorship, please!
 

Hello,

New here, but already so grateful for the welcoming comments and helpful insights.

I have been going to Al-Anon since the beginning of Feb. I "blitzed" the first week, going to 7 meetings in 6 days. Then chose two groups that I felt most comfortable in to continue going. I've just started to participate in regular groups vs the newcomer groups and am learning to share. Not the easiest since last week's one topic was anger. I could write a novella on that.

Here are my questions, to which I'd appreciate your thoughts:

- how long after joining Al-Anon is it appropriate to look for a sponsor?
- what are the key qualities in a sponsor I should look for to hopefully have a good fit (ie should they have same background in experience, age, personality, or is it better to go with differences)? I am a pretty opinionated, assertive, not easy to push around person, who likes to discuss ideas/concepts so that I feel I really understand without just "accepting" them. (which just makes me being co-dependent & having lived in the insanity of an AH just baffling...)
- should I get a sponsor at this time? The two groups I'm attending are daytime groups. I am in the midst of a job search, and once I find one I will need to find a new evening group; right now I'm trying to minimize the time away from my kids while I still can.
- any other things I should consider?

Thank you!

In my humble opinion.....

how long after joining Al-Anon is it appropriate to look for a sponsor?

As soon as you feel ready.


what are the key qualities in a sponsor I should look for to hopefully have a good fit (ie should they have same background in experience, age, personality, or is it better to go with differences)?


Same sex and someone in which you admire their recovery. You appreciate what they share.

Hello there qwe, and pleased to meet you :)

A sponsor is someone who has recently overcome the hardships you are currently in the midst of. A longer explanation can be found in the al-anon pamphlet titled "Sponsorship, What It's All About"

What I do when "sponsor shopping" is I make a list of a dozen guys who seem to have the kind of life I want. Then I ask them out for coffee and ask them how the program works in their life. I keep my mouth shut, and just listen to how _they_ do it.

After about three coffees the list is down to 6, and then 3. Somewhere along the way a friendship just kind of develops, and it is clear to me who would be a good sponsor. My current sponsor has turned out to be a great friend. His wife has threatened to adopt me and their kids accept me like family.

To me, a sponsor is a good friend that just happens to go to some of the same meetings I go to :)

Mike :)

iF YOU ARE READY TO WORK THE STEPS AND MOVE FORWARD... THEN IT IS TIME.

CHOOSE SOMEONE WHO HAS SOME TIME IN THE PROGRAM AND WHO SOUNDS LIKE SHE IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PROBLEM AND CLEARLY LIVING IN THE SOLUTION