need advice!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Glace Bay
Posts: 1
need advice!!
ok so my uncle is actually a really nice guy and would do anything for alot of people. When he takes a drink he turns into a monster and can careless who he hurts. He is very immature about it and gets himself into trouble well supposibly its everyone elses fault and trouble follows him even though he has had 3 dui's. last night i wanted to try to have a drink with him one last time to see if he could actually have a drink socially with his gf and my bf. He went from being in a really good mood then when i looked at him something clicked in his head and you could actually see him getting angry for know reason. He went from laughing to pissed off in the matter of 2 mins . You have to walk on egg shells with him because he snaps at anytime . I was sitting there watching him and i could see the emotions that he was going through as strange as it sounds. You can not say anything to him either, i told him to be a little quieter in the nicest way possible and he started screaming that i wanted him out of my house. He would fight with the devil and its really hurting my family especially his gf which takes the most torture.I really think that he has a mental disorder other then just a mood swing when drinking because its way beyond that ....if anyone has any advice on what we could do as a family or maybe a disorder that it could possible be that would be greatly appreciated .
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Tx
Posts: 14
Hello. I just posted a similar problem. I'm sorry you're having to deal with it. I understand what you mean by the "change" in behavior. My counselor doesn't believe me when I tell her that my alcoholic husband gets mean when he drinks hard liquor instead of beer. The yelling, the accusations, etc... are too much to take sometimes. In that situation, I just try to ignore the best that I can. Even though it doesn't do anything to help the situation, it's all about self-preservation.
Do you hang out with your uncle just because you want to? Is he somewhat of a permanent figure in your life, or do you see him just when you feel like it? If it's the latter, then just avoid him. I know - easier said than done, and it really doesn't help what your feeling. Have you tried Al-Anon? I just started.
Hang in there.
Do you hang out with your uncle just because you want to? Is he somewhat of a permanent figure in your life, or do you see him just when you feel like it? If it's the latter, then just avoid him. I know - easier said than done, and it really doesn't help what your feeling. Have you tried Al-Anon? I just started.
Hang in there.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome to SoberRecovery.
Your uncle may be an alcoholic.
Learning more about alcoholism helped me understand the addiction. We have excerpts from the book "Under The Influence" on our forum. Here is the link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Learning what I could about alcoholism as well as attending Alanon meetings has helped me cope with a loved ones addiction.
Your uncle may be an alcoholic.
Learning more about alcoholism helped me understand the addiction. We have excerpts from the book "Under The Influence" on our forum. Here is the link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Learning what I could about alcoholism as well as attending Alanon meetings has helped me cope with a loved ones addiction.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: rural west
Posts: 1,375
Hi, and welcome!
Lots of wise folks will be along shortly to meet you!
I am not a doctor (I just play one on tv!
), so I can't speak to the medical situation, but I can say that sounds like an unpleasant experience that I would avoid, if I were you.
They say the three C's of addiction are
You didn't cause it.
You can't change it.
You can't control it.
That it might be a person, a situation, or alcoholism itself.
Until your uncle can acknowledge he has a problem and searches for help for himself, he will continue to do what he's doing.
Some people feel interventions are helpful (where the family gets together and tells the alcoholic how s/he has hurt them and that they want the person to go to rehab).
The prevailing theory here is "hands off the alcoholic". A major similarity in many of our situations is that WE are codependent. Meaning we are "fixers" who are more busy worrying over and trying to help/fix/control others than looking at our own needs and being responsible for ourselves. Other people are OUR addiction. So we wrestle with trying to work on ourselves rather than save anyone else.
All of us here have loved ones that are suffering from alcoholism. We are suffering, too. It's really tough.
I'd suggest starting to read some of the stickies at the top of the forum. You'll find a lot of good info there.
Also consider going to a live Alanon meeting to get support. How to find a meeting in the US/Canada/Puerto Rico
Stick around. Keep reading.
Hugs,
w
Lots of wise folks will be along shortly to meet you!
I am not a doctor (I just play one on tv!
), so I can't speak to the medical situation, but I can say that sounds like an unpleasant experience that I would avoid, if I were you.They say the three C's of addiction are
You didn't cause it.
You can't change it.
You can't control it.
That it might be a person, a situation, or alcoholism itself.
Until your uncle can acknowledge he has a problem and searches for help for himself, he will continue to do what he's doing.
Some people feel interventions are helpful (where the family gets together and tells the alcoholic how s/he has hurt them and that they want the person to go to rehab).
The prevailing theory here is "hands off the alcoholic". A major similarity in many of our situations is that WE are codependent. Meaning we are "fixers" who are more busy worrying over and trying to help/fix/control others than looking at our own needs and being responsible for ourselves. Other people are OUR addiction. So we wrestle with trying to work on ourselves rather than save anyone else.
All of us here have loved ones that are suffering from alcoholism. We are suffering, too. It's really tough.
I'd suggest starting to read some of the stickies at the top of the forum. You'll find a lot of good info there.
Also consider going to a live Alanon meeting to get support. How to find a meeting in the US/Canada/Puerto Rico
Stick around. Keep reading.
Hugs,
w
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
