nodaybut2day

Today, I went searching through my father's closet (which has become my closet since I moved into his room) for some sewing materials to make matching pillows for my daughter's bed. I found a bag of cushion stuffing and old fabric remnants that probably hadn't been opened in 3 or 4 years. I emptied the contents on the bed and lo and behold, wrapped in fabric and cushion stuffing lay an empty bottle of Jack Daniels.

oh.

$hit.

First shock.

Then, realization. Guess that story about XAH hiding booze in my parents' closet while we visited from Toronto was true. I mean, I believed it when they told me, but there lay the evidence of it, right in the middle of that bag of sewing materials.

And then...yep, there it is: anger. Total rage. How DARE he?! I don't know if it's because it's in my father's CLOSET that my XAH hid his booze, because it's so personal and so intimate...or because I thought I was finally on the road to getting rid of XAH's presence in my life...

Whatever it is, I'm rather, um, peeved.

Trigger anyone?

Oyah, and then while out on a shopping trip with my friend, I almost broke down and bawled right in the middle of the liquor store he swung by to purchase a bottle of wine for a dinner party. Oops.

Live

GRRRRRR....

You didn't need that!!!!

grumble, grumble, grumble....

How about....so glad you are out of that mess!

JenT1968

#1 this weekend. raking up the leaves in the back garden I find a miniature vodka bottle which AH must have tossed since we seperated and he was visiting the kids.

#2 this weekend, I borrow a jumper from his drawers (loads of his clothes and belongings are still here) because its really cold. and in with them is a large empty bottle of vodka. I come accross these things all the time, and actually they serve as a nice reminder of the madness I am not living in anymore.

I remember being really angry and upset about them initially though, and I think I needed to feel that and work through it .
(())

nodaybut2day

Thanks Jen and Live...I realize today as I stare that the empty bottle that it was a gift from my HP, gently reminding me to be vigilant about XAH, because his crap can jump out of nowhere, and to be thankful that the life of finding empty alcohol containers is no longer mine. It still smarts a bit to look at the bottle (one of MANY I've looked at over the last 5 years), but I think I'll keep the darn thing around to reflect and process further.

isurvived

Ha. Eye-opening, isn't it!? Reminds me...

Last summer I decided to clean out the storage space in our garage attic. I found 26 empty bottles of vodka up there, 26!!!!!

This December, I decided to put up the old artificial Christmas tree (instead of purchasing a real tree - saving money you know) and what was in the box with the tree, but 5 empties.

I've been divorced from my AH for 2 years, but these discoveries were still very much an affirmation of my good decision to end the marriage. During our marriage when I'd find these hidden bottles — it was always such an emotional blow to me, and yet now, after the fact - it was confirming, and almost uplifting. Why? Because I so often would wonder "is he drinking again, or is it my imagination, am I blowing this out of proportion, or is it that bad?"

It WAS that bad!

RollTide

Last year we were having a yard sale and a lady asked if we had any size 40 men's shorts. We had a couple of boxes of shorts so I helped her to look through them and low and behold found an empty bottle in the middle of one of them. How embarassing. And I could tell a dozen other similiar stories. My immediate reaction was instant rage. But it took that and lots more craziness to finally be enough and to propel me to take action and end the marriage. I guess I'm a slow learner but I simply do not want to live the rest of my life that way.

I agree with nodaybut2day: "thankful that the life of finding empty alcohol containers is no longer mine."

KerBearz

I have been finding empties stashed all around the house for years! The interesting thing is that my AH always assumes that I am hunting for them - just trying to "catch" him, etc. But it almost always happens just like you've all described - it just falls off a shelf and hits me on the head or something!

wanting

When I was packing up AH's closet recently, I found this spray that was a urine odor eliminator. Good times. One of the things he'd say a lot when I found out about his affair and that he was leaving me was, "But we didn't even sleep in the same bed anymore!" Um yeah, if you have a special urine spray because the occasion of urinating the bed is so frequent...I'm not sleeping there.