WizeDeb

Its been a couple of very hard weeks. I suppose you could say I crashed and burned. Major panic attacks, uncontrolable crying, not being able to focus at work,not sleeping, not eating just plain spent. Never did I think I would crash this hard, wonder woman right, well I learned a lesson for sure. I have to TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. Before I can even help my daughter. Which is doing better than me, thank God.

Of course I had a melt down at work. Left work a mess, my best friend called my boss and told him that I was not in a good way, She was the only one that knew these things were going on.(and the therapist) I was once again bottling up my feelings and my body worked against me. I could not control my shaking, my tears, might as well say my mind. My coworkers were really worried, they had never seen me like this. Im always in control, least on the outside.

So ladies, I took a step back and wrote down things that I cant handle.
Spent today hiring a cleaning lady. I have no energy to clean, none what so ever. Took a FMLA from work. I plan on working half days. With the option of taking a day off if I need one. Went to the doctor so they could adjust my meds. If I need meds right now then so be it. Seeing the therapist twice a week instead of once. If Im tired and need to sleep, thats what Im going to do. I can not keep pushing myself. Im amazed that your body can take control when I thought I could keep going. I was pushing myself way too hard.

Taking care of myself and my daughter has to come first. I had to learn the hard way of doing this. Please listen to the wise women on this board, its the most important thing you can do.

I feel relived, hopefully since I took steps to help myself I can heal the healthy way. Hope all is well with you all

Thanks
Deb

barb dwyer

wow, deb.

yes, we're advised to put the oxygen mask on first before helping the children.

Good for you -
taking action to help yourself.
Feels kinda weird, don't it?

Rest is the bomb for me as well.

Good for you - you've prioritized.

Impurrfect

(((Deb)))

I'm so glad to hear of the steps you have taken to take care of you. Yes, quite a lot of us DO have a tendency to just keep going and going until our bodies say "stop". You are truly a wise woman to recognize what you need and go for it.

Big hugs and prayers to you and your daughter!

Amy

Pelican

How are you today? (((Deb)))

WizeDeb

Im ok, snowed in but doing better,I think the meds have alot to do with it keeping me on somewhat of an even state.

Jadmack25

With all you have had happening it really is no surprise that your brain and body rebelled. I hope you take the time to be still, have the emotions level out and above all, know that none of what occurred was of your making.

God bless

coffeedrinker

i'm not an expert, but this sounds reasonable and probably pretty normal to me. things of magnitude often hit us later than we "think" they should.

i am so glad you took advantage of the fmla, and it sounds like you have a good plan in place. keep us posted, will you?

KerBearz

Deb, you may not be wonder woman, but you are a wonderful woman and a wonderful mother! The wide world will wait for you to get back on your feet. Take all the time you need to become healthy and whole again. You are in my prayers ~ Kerbearz

transformyself

I hope you feel better soon, stabilize. Lord knows I've been where you are.

Pulling back, respecting your need to heal, those are all great things to do. I bet you're so good at helping others that when you focus on yourself, you'll heal up in no time.

Big hugs for you Deb. You are wise.