SadButHopeful

Please see my other thread ("Need advice on a sticky situation") if you haven't read it.

I'm taking the kids to my mom's tomorrow.

He's insane. What do I do???? I'm in a panic. I want HIM to leave, not me and the kids!!!

Still Waters

Sad,

Tell me, what would you advise your best girlfriend to do if she had a husband, the father of her children, who had been violent in the past and was drinking every single day and dabbling in illegal things in the home?

Bernadette

I want HIM to leave, not me and the kids!!!

Understood.

It will not be easy or smooth.

But you are doing the right thing. Not the convenient or easy thing and not "getting your way," but you're doing what needs to be done with the focus on the children and physical and mental safety.

You will never regret that.

One foot in front of the other. Keep posting, we'll walk with you.

peace-
b

ItsmeAlice

SBH, I'm sorry he's just not ready to give up the beast yet.

I am proud of you for backing up your ultimatum and stepping out with the kids.

I know you want him the leave and it would seem reasonable, but you are not dealing with someone who is capable of being reasonable or rationale. It is evident in his behavior.

Get some distance. Hug your children. And just deal with things one step at a time. There are mouths to feed, errands to run, work to do etc. Focus on those things for now. The answers are coming. It all takes time to sort out. You'll get there.

(((Hugs)))

Alice

SadButHopeful

I keep second guessing myself. I'm so scared for my kids, for their pain if this goes all the way through to a real separation. My poor, beautiful, innocent kids.

We're supposed to work tomorrow (we have a business). I don't know how we'll maintain it!

Please keep the support and advice coming, I really, really need it

Tally

Whos name is the house in?

SadButHopeful

Both of ours.

coffeedrinker

wow, working together would be difficult to say the least. wonder if you have to actually work together?

do you think it would be possible to ask him for a truce for awhile? something like
"i don't we are in the midst of conflict right now. i believe we just aren't going to see eye to eye any time soon. for the sake of the business, and our children, do ya think we could just agree to disagree, live apart til we get it straightened out, and be civil? i will if you will."

maybe that would buy you a little time? and make breathing just a little easier

LaTeeDa

First things first. Awfulizing about the future doesn't help anyone. Least of all the kids. They need at least one rational, sane parent. Make a short-term plan. Can you stay at mom's for a week or two? I think you need some time away from the chaos and constant badgering just to breathe and think. Once you have that sorted out, then you can work toward what you want to do longer term.

L

PHIZ007

I so feel for you.........can't give my own experience (yet!) of this terrible stage but just wanted to offer my support too and there is some great advice above.....I am always for the one step at a time method., and remember to stop for a moment, even though you have so much going on but really try to slow down a little and B R E A T H E........it will help you too.....Your babies are lucky to have a Mummy like you.....
Keep us posted we really do care.....Take Care Phiz

barb dwyer

I have to constantly ask myself
what's HERE.
right HERE.
stay HERE.

to be where my hands are.

And having just had a major panick thing a month ago-
I'm sending all the calm and comfort vibes I can muster.

Your job - is to be where your hands are.
Now:
What's the first thing?



We're here.

nodaybut2day

YOU'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING! Well, at least, I think so, as a mother to a young toddler. Take good care of yourself, so you can take care of your children. When mama's not doing good, kiddos aren't doing good.

What's happening today? Can you stay at your mother's for a bit?

I can't remember...did you talk to a lawyer?

SadButHopeful

hardly any time right now - i'm staying at my mom's w/ the kids but am back at the house working - i feel relieved and i don't know if i even want to stay in this marriage - more later

TY!!!