SadButHopeful

So AH, who is drunk, and has been ranting and raving loudly about me on the phone, has just come to me and handed me a printout of "So You Love An Alcoholic" and has marked off every suggestion that I've done wrong.

:wtf2

LaTeeDa

Power struggle with a drunk. No way to win. Disengage.

L

Edit to add: At least he's admitting he's an alcoholic.

Seren

SBH to AH: "That's nice, dear."

wicked

first, let me say, agreed with LTD and hydrogirl.

but as a recovering alcoholic, (and, oh my, did i think i knew it all!) this is hilarious.
really? checked off what YOU have done wrong?

oh, the irony, it burns.......

SadButHopeful

I think he might be trying to help!

Jadmack25

Oh dear, seems he is under the inluences of alcohol and STUPIDITY, with a side serving of the "I am perfects'. Classic delusion mode for him, and I love the fact that listing your wrongs done to the "alcoholic you love", begs the question.

Who is the alcoholic you did wrong to? (if he doesn't think he is an A)

Hydro's is a good reply. So are "hmmm, ahuh, and really?"

God bless

Kassie2

I am sorry but your post made me laugh out loud - it is much easier to be able react when you have some distance.

Like others said though - at least he is admitting his problem whether he actually realizes what it says.

I love the part where they think that we are their problem... it reminds of the night my RAH came home from AA meeting and told me that I was supposed to read chap 6 and follow it! I said ok, took the BB-began reading and kept my comments to myself ( i get it but you have to be kidding after what I went through?)- returned the BB and politely said , "it will take time".

I also love the part where we are expected to make their lives stress free while in recovery - what about learning how to deal with life?! and what about my "recovery" will you make it stress free? his answer- I can't take care of you I can barely do that for myself !

Carol Star

Quack.quack,quack,qquuaacckk.................

Gold

Repeat after me...
"Everything is not my fault"

barb dwyer

awwwwww.

I am the world's WORST 'de-escalator'
so I'm not saying anything...
and just sending you another

***HUG***

ItsmeAlice

Barb's my kind of gal alright. I'd be the instigator who'd hand him back the "Is your spouse an alcoholic quiz" with his name and his 100% score written in red on the top and a big ole gold start on it.

I just love "show me yours, I'll show you mine" games, don't you?

-- And I just posted on the other thread about owning my own BS. I better add this attitude to my list.


Alice

SadButHopeful

I think my MIL told him where to find this info. That doesn't seem right. I know that she's only trying to help, she's going to Al Anon and very sympathetic to my situation.

Wouldn't giving him this info feed his "I am a victim" mentality?

LaTeeDa

Repeat after me:

Where he got the information doesn't matter.
Whether it feeds his victim mentality doesn't matter.
What he thinks about you doesn't matter.

It just doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter.

L

barb dwyer

There *is* no piece of paper...

that makes out of control alcoholism 'okay'.
that makes diminishing your partner in life ... 'okay'.
that makes putting your own life in jeopardy ... 'okay'.
that makes forcing your family to watch you destroy yourself... 'okay'.
There *is* no 'last word' in this.

It's simply NOT ... okay.

Never was.
Never WILL be.

No piece of paper
No volume of shouting
No slap jab punch or kick
whether mental, emotional or physical ...

is EVER ... going to change that.


Now.
See how badly I SUCK at de-escalating?
I couldn't even keep my thoughts to myself about that.

Tiredofdrugs

It just amazes me how many people, non-addicts/alcoholics, or user's can have the balls, nerve to start shoving the Road to Recovery in our faces. If you don't do it exactly this way then you are going about it all wrong. God help us all. I've gone and come off pain meds so many times, with just one time in a rehab facility and very few meetings in the rooms and did the most of them cold turkey, that this paper pushing questionare should be set on fire somewhere so he can watch.

Everytime I made the dicision to stop taking the meds, I did it on my own. It was my choice to stop. I didn't exactly follow the steps the way they are laid out, but I did work them as the oppurtunity presented themselves.

I've seen a lot of couples in recovery have a wonderful life together. Myself! Fourteen year marriage to one ended badly. Each of us as individuals in our recovery have to be responsible for our own way of staying clean.

No one has the right to shove rules down our throats.

So don't fret over this questionaire and do your recovery at your speed and the way it is best for you. Don't get pressured into speeding the process up to the point you're ready to start using again to deal with it.

Games are being played here and you need to step out of the field and put the ball back into his lap.

I'm 11 days clean today, AGAIN. And I did have to laugh at this. It's called: STAY IN YOUR OWN COURT AND OUT OF MINE.