I can't face common sense
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
Sorry to sound so cynical, but I just need to re-state that you are infatuated with this man. Different than love. (which may or may not grow in time.) That's why it seems as though he is "inspiring you to be the best you can be". That surge of power, feeling of well-being, extra energy, is all due to this state of chemical imbalance you're in at the moment.
That being said, I realize you're not going to show restraint. So, in answer to your other question, I think al-anon is a great choice mainly because it is so prevalent. You will always be able to find a meeting, and have a large pool to choose future friends from. The other group would also be fine. They are both step-based.
I wish you the best
Ok, I have to say something else:
you do realize he is sending mixed messages, yes? he keeps saying "friends only here" "only friendship" and then there the "danger, will robinson: i'm an alcoholic"
people don't cuddle, hold hands and make out on the couch with their "only friend"
call a spade a spade
That being said, I realize you're not going to show restraint. So, in answer to your other question, I think al-anon is a great choice mainly because it is so prevalent. You will always be able to find a meeting, and have a large pool to choose future friends from. The other group would also be fine. They are both step-based.
I wish you the best
Ok, I have to say something else:
you do realize he is sending mixed messages, yes? he keeps saying "friends only here" "only friendship" and then there the "danger, will robinson: i'm an alcoholic"
people don't cuddle, hold hands and make out on the couch with their "only friend"
call a spade a spade
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 9
Not exactly young...we are both in our mid 40's.
Makes a lot of sense...getting our respective acts together a bit more before trying to be together. And yes, you nailed it when you advised me not to grab him before another woman does. Reading that, I believe there's a component of that in my situation. And maybe a component of him needing a woman. OK more insightful advice. I'm going to keep on reading, OK? Eventually it's got to sink in and give me the resolve. Thank you.
Makes a lot of sense...getting our respective acts together a bit more before trying to be together. And yes, you nailed it when you advised me not to grab him before another woman does. Reading that, I believe there's a component of that in my situation. And maybe a component of him needing a woman. OK more insightful advice. I'm going to keep on reading, OK? Eventually it's got to sink in and give me the resolve. Thank you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 9
Well, here's what I think might be my saving grace. My life does not revolve around him. He's my favorite part of it, but I socialize with other friends without him, I have a challenging career, and a home to take care of. We see each other usually twice a week, and talk every day. But it's not an obsession. I've never had that sort of relationship with anyone...maybe to a fault.
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