Live

Please....there is no medical advice allowed on the forums. That is between the person and their Dr.

I have been in therapy off and on since 1993, I see a psychiatrist very regularly.
I must take my medications. My hypothalmus shrinks without them and it causes much unessesary and sometimes irreversible suffering.

Be careful about telling folks to not take their meds...I hated to take mine and was easily influenced....fortunately or unfortunately I have been drug by my loving daughter to the Drs and been hospitalized more than once. I now understand that if I do not take my medications, I will wind up dead.

harleyd101

Transformyself, I don't know what to say, so just let me send you BIG HUGS today. I don't go near the family, they keep wanting me to co-sign their crap, and I cant anymore...along with the crap comes HUGE helpings of shame and guilt, spoon-fed to me if I'm willing. I'm not anymore. Family can just SUCK the joy and peace right out of my life. Thinking and praying for your well-being.

transformyself

Oh Harley thank you. I think this cycle has to end, somewhere and somehow. It'll end with me learning how to navigate triggers. It's not my AH this time, but rather my family, which is the source of my most brutal ptsd symptoms.

for years, I would vomit with i thought about my mother. Recently, she friended both of my sisters on FB. I wasn't affected then. This is sneaky stuff. Insidious..

I just turned off my phone. A potential client called and I unloaded on him! I'm going to bed.

myawakening

Trans...once again I feel like I was one of your triggers...posting all the bs I'm dealing with. You've been an amazing inspiration to me as you reach out to help me as well as others on this forum.

I don't know anything about your meds, but what I do know is that if your doctor gave them to you...you should take them. Or at the very least talk to him about what you are feeling...maybe different type of meds??

GiveLove is right on the money about exercize. Get on the treadmill and pretend the part you walk on is the face of your EX as well as any family member that has given you sh*t!! Each step you take will make you feel happy...as if you are truly walking all over them...SMASHING THEIR FACE INTO THE GROUND. OK...yes I have issues...

Do this to the point of exhaustion...not only is it good for your health, helps get some of the anger out...but helps bring depression in line. I so like the idea of smashing their faces...I am going to gym the minute I get off a 3 PM conference call!!!

PS-Ice going into a glass from the automatic ice dispenser on the fridge. That's my trigger. I hate that sound!!! When I travel for work and would call him...that was the lovely sound I heard...as he mixed his rum and cokes. Triggers...UGH!!!!

myawakening

Trans...I forgot...:ghug3:ghug3:ghug3

Its my turn to take you out to blow off steam...carry you home and tuck you into bed...as I watch over you with a dream catcher...to catch all the bad ones. Then I would wash your clothes and clean your house. When you woke up...you would have a day to pamper yourself.

Gosh, I wish we all lived closer. There would be static electricity all over the place!!

transformyself

MA, it doesn't matter which hurting soul came here and posted their specific issues-you or someone else. You can take responsibility for my issues if you want, but I would advice against it. Really.

I will, however, take you up on the pampering session. And yes, I often wonder what life would be like living close to you folks IRL. It's very odd that I recieve such comfort and compassion from faceless strangers, but i'm grateful for it anyway..

Also, duh, today was the very last day to get our stuff from the foreclosed house. We were suppose to be out Dec 4, they sent us an eviction notice for today. It's drawn out for so long. Like the death of a terminally ill friend. So I've been back and forth a few times, just looking over the stuff in the garage--mainly shelving units and boxes of old toys and clothes that i just didn't know what to do wtih or have the whatever it takes to throw it out. I did find a box in the basement that was important. Also took some more tools.

I wrote A FAMILY LIVED HERE in red sharpie on the wall before I left. Made me feel better. And worse.

I am glad I no longer live in that town, the associations with my AH, his drinking, his affair permiated my being and I didn't even know it, don't recognize it until I drive back by "their" bar, "their" apartment.

I stood in my back yard and prayed each morning, cried in the garage so the kids wouldn't see me. Leaving it was 85% good, but still it is the last of our dead dreams.

Even though I"m a freak, even though I know I've aged and am broke as hell, I know he'll never find a woman like me. I , on the other hand, could pick up a man like him in any bar. Someone to worship, adore, resent, blame and torture me.

Glad I"m single.