Not sure what to do next.

Old 01-16-2010, 06:27 AM
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Not sure what to do next.

My wife of 16 years is in her second week of rehab right now. We have had the most wonderfull life together with one exception. Not every time, but once in a while when she would have a few drinks she would completely become someone else. Normaly it didn't effect her any differently than me or anyone else we know. but when it happened it would be ugly. This time she really when off the deep end and ended up cheating with a friend. She then realized what she had done and decided that she needs help.
Being with out her for the first time in all these years is brutal. and I'm not sure what to do or what to expect next. I am afraid she might be a different person when she completes the rehab. I just don't know.....
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Old 01-16-2010, 07:41 AM
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Hello and welcome to the forum. You will find many wonderful people here who understand exactly what you are feeling and going through. I remember very well the gut wrenching pain in my stomach I felt the first time I left my husband at Rehab. My heart goes out to you because it can be overwhelming, scary and feeling like everything is coming apart.

The fact that your wife has asked for help is WONDERFUL. She may very well be a different person.....different in that she is seeking recovery rather than being an active alcoholic. The journey of recovery is all about change. Alcoholism is a horrible and progressive disease. The sooner recovery is sought the better for anyone suffering from the disease.

Check out all the stickys at the top of the forum. You will find a great deal of very helfpul information about the disease.

Most important.....what are you doing to take care of yourself? Are you involved in Al Anon? That is a great place to start if you are not already attending meetings. You might consider seeing a counselor to help you work through your feelings as well. Come back often and keep posting.

Remember the three C's of alcoholism:
You didn't cause it
You can't control it
You can't cure it

What you can do is take care of you. All the best.
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Old 01-16-2010, 08:09 AM
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ddamm9, I'm so glad you found us. There's a lot of support here. Do please read the Sticky posts at the top of the forum, as forever4you suggests. You cannot control what your wife does or doesn't do, but in this time away from her you can educate yourself about all the ugly faces of the disorder of alcoholism, and fill your well with strength and wisdom. We "get it."

Take care of yourself in this time--although it must feel very odd to you (our bodies are definitely creatures of habit) it can be very clarifying to be removed from a damaging situation for a while, to be able to step back and see what might need to change if our life is going to be a happy one.
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Old 01-16-2010, 10:59 AM
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