my rah and anger-need advice
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: littleton, Colorado
Posts: 146
my rah and anger-need advice
I've been gone from the "boards" here just due to being very busy, but I have a drama and pain in my life I have to ask for wisdom on.
If you recall, my RAH, who hasn't drank in 5 years, but harbors serious anger issues found out I was im'g another man. Doesn't matter really who this was, but for the record, it was a friend I recently found from when I was in grade school-along with many others I have found recently. RAH used my computer yesterday and "accidentally" got into my fb and saw a recent conversation.
Quick background. Every week-my RAH has found some reason to blame me and take out anger on me verbally. I am emotionally dead-and disconnected from him. We are attending couples counseling-and this has helped to have a third party because RAH's anger is simply out of control.
Last night-we fought all night. (after FB discovery) Every time I think he is settling down, his angry behavior emerges out of nowhere...he broke the espress carafe while making my coffee and demanded I give him this guys number. Not more than 2 hours earlier, he demanded I call my friend and tell him I cannot talk to him anymore while RAH was there; I did so, but it still wasn't good enough. So, after breaking the carafe, he got a meat tenderizer and threatened for me to get the number, or he would presumably smash my blackberry. I told him to leave. He refused, so I started packing a bag to go shower and get to work. He relents; has a crying meltdown, only for me to receive more texts from him demanding this guys number-which I gave to him, but no one is answering which is angering him more.
He packed his suitcase last night-and tearfully this morning, he said he would be leaving-I was relieved-and of course sad, but I cannot take any more...and granted, I did have a lively chat going on with this person-but it is directly related to the constant, weekly anger abuse from him.
Thank you for listening...please keep the mermaidgirl in your prayers.
If you recall, my RAH, who hasn't drank in 5 years, but harbors serious anger issues found out I was im'g another man. Doesn't matter really who this was, but for the record, it was a friend I recently found from when I was in grade school-along with many others I have found recently. RAH used my computer yesterday and "accidentally" got into my fb and saw a recent conversation.
Quick background. Every week-my RAH has found some reason to blame me and take out anger on me verbally. I am emotionally dead-and disconnected from him. We are attending couples counseling-and this has helped to have a third party because RAH's anger is simply out of control.
Last night-we fought all night. (after FB discovery) Every time I think he is settling down, his angry behavior emerges out of nowhere...he broke the espress carafe while making my coffee and demanded I give him this guys number. Not more than 2 hours earlier, he demanded I call my friend and tell him I cannot talk to him anymore while RAH was there; I did so, but it still wasn't good enough. So, after breaking the carafe, he got a meat tenderizer and threatened for me to get the number, or he would presumably smash my blackberry. I told him to leave. He refused, so I started packing a bag to go shower and get to work. He relents; has a crying meltdown, only for me to receive more texts from him demanding this guys number-which I gave to him, but no one is answering which is angering him more.
He packed his suitcase last night-and tearfully this morning, he said he would be leaving-I was relieved-and of course sad, but I cannot take any more...and granted, I did have a lively chat going on with this person-but it is directly related to the constant, weekly anger abuse from him.
Thank you for listening...please keep the mermaidgirl in your prayers.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
Just from what you have described in this one post, it appears to me that you are in danger. Breaking things, threatening to smash things, demanding, controlling, are all ominous signs. It is only a matter of time before he hurts you, if he hasn't already. Please call a DV hotline and get some advice from a qualified counselor. Please.
L
L
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
Agreed. A call costs you nothing and you'll get a sympathetic ear, as well as good advice. Please call:
1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.3224 (TTY)
Anonymous & Confidential Help 24/7
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.3224 (TTY)
Anonymous & Confidential Help 24/7
National Domestic Violence Hotline
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,149
MG,
a MARRIAGE counsellor is not neccessarily best placed to deal with issues surrounding violence and threats. A good one should tell you this.
A second opinion from people who are best placed to advise can't hurt can it?
a MARRIAGE counsellor is not neccessarily best placed to deal with issues surrounding violence and threats. A good one should tell you this.
A second opinion from people who are best placed to advise can't hurt can it?
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