H 1 yr sober but mean..
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1
H 1 yr sober but mean..
AH went thru out patient rehab. Was put on antidepressants and Campral. He weaned himself off antidep bout a month ago and is going to do the same with Campral. Atttends 1 AA meeting (leads it) and maybe 1 more a week with sponser. Drank his whole life (60 yo), but really out of control the 2-3 years before we took him to hosp.
My questions 1. he is becomming increasingly short tempered, mean, unpleasant to be around. He can be fine and ask him a question and he snaps. I know about dry drunks, but was told if he was going to AA he couldn't be on. Is that true. Is this normal for an A to go thru this anger stage a year into recovery. I understand going off meds was prob not the best idea (doesnt see dr. any more) but he hated the way they made him feel. Should they be out of his system by now?
2. He is tired all the time, and he looks really bad, almost like he did when he was drinking. I'm pretty sure he isn't drinking cause he would be much happier if he were. Is this a normal part of recovery?
He has pretty much alienated his daughters one of which was his biggest supporter. I'm getting close to my limit too. Thanks for your insight (I tried posting this last night, but it didn't post, but if it did, sorry)
My questions 1. he is becomming increasingly short tempered, mean, unpleasant to be around. He can be fine and ask him a question and he snaps. I know about dry drunks, but was told if he was going to AA he couldn't be on. Is that true. Is this normal for an A to go thru this anger stage a year into recovery. I understand going off meds was prob not the best idea (doesnt see dr. any more) but he hated the way they made him feel. Should they be out of his system by now?
2. He is tired all the time, and he looks really bad, almost like he did when he was drinking. I'm pretty sure he isn't drinking cause he would be much happier if he were. Is this a normal part of recovery?
He has pretty much alienated his daughters one of which was his biggest supporter. I'm getting close to my limit too. Thanks for your insight (I tried posting this last night, but it didn't post, but if it did, sorry)
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome to the SR family!
I'm sorry your husband is being short-tempered and isolating. You will find support for yourself here. Loads of information and wisdom too.
Some folks get sober and work a recovery program and are still jerks. It's their charming personality in real life!
His body = his responsibility. If he chooses to stop his meds, okay. If he chooses to discuss his lack of energy with his doctor, okay. If he chooses to do nothing and withdraw from life, okay.
What are you doing to take care of you during this time of transition?
Have you sought counseling for yourself?
Have you attended Alanon meetings?
Have you read self-help books?
I found Alanon meetings helpful, SR (sober recover website) and self-help books also aide me in my recovery journey.
Make yourself at home by reading and posting as needed.
I'm sorry your husband is being short-tempered and isolating. You will find support for yourself here. Loads of information and wisdom too.
Some folks get sober and work a recovery program and are still jerks. It's their charming personality in real life!
His body = his responsibility. If he chooses to stop his meds, okay. If he chooses to discuss his lack of energy with his doctor, okay. If he chooses to do nothing and withdraw from life, okay.
What are you doing to take care of you during this time of transition?
Have you sought counseling for yourself?
Have you attended Alanon meetings?
Have you read self-help books?
I found Alanon meetings helpful, SR (sober recover website) and self-help books also aide me in my recovery journey.
Make yourself at home by reading and posting as needed.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 62
Minpin, as a person in the medical field I will tell you that Antidepressants should never be stopped without physician supervision. Abrubt stoppage of this type of medicine can lead to increased depression, suicidal thoughts, paranoid behaviours and even psychosis. Somtimes the weaning from these types of medicines takes many, many months to do successfully. He would be better served to see a physician and discuss why he doesn't like the way the medicine makes him feel and go from there. There might be a different medicine he could try. Or the physician might agree to assist him with supervised weaning.
As Pelican has pointed out however, that decision is his and his alone to make. You could certainly offer to take him to a doctor and even accompany him should he choose to go. But outside of that you must leave the decision for his health with him.
I am sorry that you are having to deal with him being mean. It can be incredibly frustrating for a loved one to be sick and refuse treatment whehter it be an alcoholic refusing treatment for alcoholism, a cancer patient refusing chemo or person with the flu who is determined to ride it out on their own. But in the end you cannot control what he chooses to do.
Focus on yourself and what you need to feel better. Keep coming back here for support. Hugs to you.
As Pelican has pointed out however, that decision is his and his alone to make. You could certainly offer to take him to a doctor and even accompany him should he choose to go. But outside of that you must leave the decision for his health with him.
I am sorry that you are having to deal with him being mean. It can be incredibly frustrating for a loved one to be sick and refuse treatment whehter it be an alcoholic refusing treatment for alcoholism, a cancer patient refusing chemo or person with the flu who is determined to ride it out on their own. But in the end you cannot control what he chooses to do.
Focus on yourself and what you need to feel better. Keep coming back here for support. Hugs to you.
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