Going to try again...I think
Curled up in a good book...
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,542
Originally Posted by TakingCharge999 
Because I often made empty promises to myself so I was used to that.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
-It's risky (for me emotionally)
-I have to tell everyone who believed that I would never look back
-I have to tell everyone who believed that I would never look back
Relationships include the other person's factors.
His issues are firstly, his recovery. According to the posts you made recently, his recovery sounds suuuuuuper wobbley. So his first issue is whether his recovery is really happening? Is it?
His second issue is: can he handle a relationship in recovery?
It didn't sound like he handled it well at all a couple of months ago.
Please be careful.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 62
Hey KP, if you have read any of my post then you know about my situation with my XAH and our hope to reconcile one day. We have chosen together to give it at least one year before considering anything more than the occassional visit or phone call. And when we do talk or have a rare opportunity to see each other we stick to conversations about the recovery process, or the weather, or a sports team etc. and stay away from topics concerning anything to do with the past or anything to do with the future. Because this early into recovery for both of us seems to leave a lot of room for error and we don't want to go there.
As everyone has said, only you can decide what is best for you. Just take care of you. In my Al Anon meditation book "The Courage to Change" todays meditation was about when the A does choose sobriety and the relationship remains intact or the couple reunites. It says we must be careful not to become the recovery police where we were once the alcohol police. You must live your life and detach from his recovery in the same way you had to detach from his disease. If you feel confident that you have the ability to do that then you should be strong enough to move forward with giving it another try.
Keep us all posted. Wishing you the best!
As everyone has said, only you can decide what is best for you. Just take care of you. In my Al Anon meditation book "The Courage to Change" todays meditation was about when the A does choose sobriety and the relationship remains intact or the couple reunites. It says we must be careful not to become the recovery police where we were once the alcohol police. You must live your life and detach from his recovery in the same way you had to detach from his disease. If you feel confident that you have the ability to do that then you should be strong enough to move forward with giving it another try.
Keep us all posted. Wishing you the best!
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