The selfishness runs so deep...

Old 01-12-2010, 07:00 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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The selfishness runs so deep...

Hello all, I had a conversation with a friend of mine, who told me she ran into the XABF at the bar (BIG SURPRISE!! LOL) Now, this friend is in recovery, stopped into a bar with her husband (she normally goes nowhere near a bar) and saw the ex sitting at the bar. She said she went over and talked to him, and he was ashamed and told her so. She has attempted in the past to help him. She said he is so tore up that I wouldn't want to see him right now. She told me that he said "I miss her (me) so much, I was looking at pictures of us in the Carribean the other night, and I wish she was sitting here next to me on the bar stool. Wow........I was speechless. We started off drinking together, and for the first 5 years thats what we did. I got sober, he got sober (short lived, 8 months) and I stayed sober. In his alcoholic mind, everything would be better if I STILL CONTINUED TO DRINK WITH HIM! Wow...wow...wow....WOW! Whack me over the head.....this is self-centerness at the extreme. He wishes I was still a practicing alcoholic so he could have his drinking buddy back. It was like a brick between the eyes. I wouldn't wish this disease on my worst enemy, let alone someone I spent 10 years of my life with. Just had to get that off my chest, it was one of those light-bulb moments!! Thanks for listening!!!
harleyd101 is offline  
Old 01-12-2010, 09:46 PM
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hi harleyd-

perhaps tell your friend that you don't want to know what he says? i find i'm much more peaceful if i don't know.

and yes, that is not the support you need in your own recovery! someone who wishes you were drinking again. sheesh!
naive is offline  

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