FindingPeace1

Some things I have learned so far about myself from doing step 4:

* I set myself up to be wronged and then can have the moral high ground in my mind (for example, I reject others, then am hurt when they reject me).
* I often depend on others for my self esteem and emotional security
* I often refuse to accept what IS/how people are/other's point of view/other's choices
* I neglect to appreciate others' wounds and limitations and that their actions are the best they can do at the time
* I often lack compassion or appreciate those I am upset with
* I forget I have choices
* I carry burdens and grudges (sometimes for a long, long time!)
* I judge others/put others down externally
* I am not in contact with how I feel, which can lead to unclear motives, unexpressed feelings and fantasy thinking
* I don't set boundaries and allow things to happen and then get hurt
* I feel inferior and/or superior
* I take people's actions personally
* I expect people to be what they are not or behave or feel like I would/do

I have great compassion for my scared, lil' self. What is surprising, is that if I refuse to judge myself, why should I judge others?
It doesn't mean I will/won't accept any of these behaviors in my life from others or that I will/won't try to work on them in myself, but the JUDGING of myself isn't helping me. I need self LOVE!!
At the same time, I don't think the JUDGING of others is helping me either!
I have growing compassion and a renewed desire for health in myself and those around me.

Peace to you all today

Wife

GiveLove

What terrific insights, wife (and you're so much more than someone's wife, by the way...you're an amazing person in your own right)

Jadmack25

You are a strong woman. God bless

harleyd101

Wow, that's some powerful insight. Thank you for sharing it with us.

NYC_Chick

I can relate to a lot of that, especially in my early recovery. It's so hard to admit that stuff, but feels good in a way to put it out in the universe : )