My Ah ha Moment
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 112
My Ah ha Moment
Went out to dinner with a dear friend Ive known since I was 13. We reconnected thru facebook. We were talking about old times and she said she always admired my courage to be upfront, honest, and never put up with anyones drama. Did you see the flashing lights too? Jeez, I thought to myself what ever happen to that girl? Well my friends from that moment on thats it, Im going back to my old ways, I remember that girl very well. Lost her but she is making a comeback!!! 
So the phone rings and its AH. I answered, vaild call about bills, but he started to do the divorce, Im sober, lets work it out dance. You know what. I laid on the line. Yes I wanna a divorce. Dont care if your sober or not. Doing things my way and if you dont like it oh well. Now if he spins out, drinks or whatever. NOT MY PROBLEM. I also laid on the line with my daughter. Im not her maid, I will not pick up constanly after you, and if you dont start doing your chores, your grounded and the cell phone (that I pay for) is gone. The phone got her attention. 18 or not, she needs to start helping out here around the house, Im only one person!
Im going to be honest upfront about my feelings from now on. If it bothers someone, again Not my Problem. Ive been taking peoples crap for way too long. Either you like my terms or you can stuff it. So in every situation Im going to try and just feel my feelings and if I dont like something Im not going to tolerate it. Its my way or the highway. Not going to hurt anyones feelings and be tactfull but Im done. Completly done! If they cant handle it then they are not worthy of my time . Took the day off from work today to do things I want to do. (Pretty much cleaning up the mess that I have been putting off)
Clean house, Clean mind, I think today will be a turning point!
So the phone rings and its AH. I answered, vaild call about bills, but he started to do the divorce, Im sober, lets work it out dance. You know what. I laid on the line. Yes I wanna a divorce. Dont care if your sober or not. Doing things my way and if you dont like it oh well. Now if he spins out, drinks or whatever. NOT MY PROBLEM. I also laid on the line with my daughter. Im not her maid, I will not pick up constanly after you, and if you dont start doing your chores, your grounded and the cell phone (that I pay for) is gone. The phone got her attention. 18 or not, she needs to start helping out here around the house, Im only one person!
Im going to be honest upfront about my feelings from now on. If it bothers someone, again Not my Problem. Ive been taking peoples crap for way too long. Either you like my terms or you can stuff it. So in every situation Im going to try and just feel my feelings and if I dont like something Im not going to tolerate it. Its my way or the highway. Not going to hurt anyones feelings and be tactfull but Im done. Completly done! If they cant handle it then they are not worthy of my time . Took the day off from work today to do things I want to do. (Pretty much cleaning up the mess that I have been putting off)
Clean house, Clean mind, I think today will be a turning point!
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 347
Hmm...I think if someone who knew me way back when...they would say that they would say the same about me...what happens to use that we change...we become something/someone new! Well....I think I might just have to follow in your footsteps! Godd for you!!!
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
well done, deb.
i too find that recovery work has begun to extend to my other relationships. i really am done. i find it helpful to continually remind myself that the line between helping and enabling is doing for them what they can and should do themselves.
and don't forget, silence is sometimes the wiser choice. i don't repeat myself anymore. i state it once and if they want to reiterate, i go the route of silence.
i too find that recovery work has begun to extend to my other relationships. i really am done. i find it helpful to continually remind myself that the line between helping and enabling is doing for them what they can and should do themselves.
and don't forget, silence is sometimes the wiser choice. i don't repeat myself anymore. i state it once and if they want to reiterate, i go the route of silence.
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