megan09

I may not post often but I read SR every day. I am a RA (4 years clean and sober) and I had to detach from my ABF 15 months ago because I could no longer deal with his drinking and behaviour. He didn't clean up his act; in fact he is now with another woman and has ceased having contact with our son (age 5). It so pains me to read all the posts on here; I identify with the loss everyone feels. I also get strength and hope from a lot of posts too! I would like to give my love and support to you all, it goes a little way to making amends for my alcoholism. I remember being so frightened of stopping drinking, but that seems so ridiculous now! It is MORE than possible to live an abstinent life. I still hurt over the end of the relationship (I was his partner for 10 years) but I am finally starting to live in the now and to accept that the man I loved is more a figment of my imagination that a reality. If I have any advice it is this - don't wait around hoping that the alcoholic in your life will change, you will just be destroyed by it in the end; I nearly was. I seriously believe that if I hadn't got out when I did that I would have picked the drink back up myself. As it was, I suffered from major depression and terrible anxiety for a long time after the separation. It has taught me so much about my own illness and how it affects others; it truly is a despicable disease, so far reaching. Sometimes leaving someone is the most loving thing you can do for them, and for yourself definitely. I would hate another woman (or man) to end up as mentally ill as I was. I am now moving on and feel much better, and I have sought therapy for my co-dependency and attended Al-Anon. My self-esteem is on the up! Life is looking hopeful once more! I will not enter another relationship with an addict; my life is too precious. Remember, it is losses and negative consequences that create a rock bottom; don't stand in the way of it. That is real love. Thanks.

GiveLove

Blessings to you and to all those you love, megan. :ghug3