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Hands down....floored...by his selfish behavior

Old 01-06-2010, 09:39 AM
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Hands down....floored...by his selfish behavior

Sorry this is long...
I am 22 weeks pregnant with a history of pre-term labor and last night I ended up having to go the hosptial was observaiton. I called my seperated AH and asked him to come to the house to watch the kids. Now, looking back I am thinking he had possibly been drinking, but was a little to overwhelmed to be thinking about that at the moment. Anyway, so I told my son to get a ride home from his game, and he called my AH - I didn't nkow this. So, I call him to find out what is taking him to long and he proceeds to yell at me over the whole thing....I left my oldest son in charge til he got there and went in. THe hospital is a 30 minute drive. I called AH on the way...and he screamed and yelled at me again because I was no specific with waht was going on, he had to "piece' things together from my sons words etc....and why didn't I go to our hosptial in town (my dr. is not there) etc...very angry. OK...real supportive. I got to hsopital about 9pm and spend the first 1 1/2 hrs being checked out by nurse, IV, medicine etc....well my son called my dad who came over to the hospital at 10:55 and I talked to him an dmy older son (who should have been in bed)....and then told them to give phone to my AH - he forgot and hung up...so I hit redial...AND got hung up on because I didn't have the common decensy to call his cell phone. So that was 11, at 11:25 here is the text I recieved from Ah....I'm glad you and your family think nothing of involving me in our sons life an dyour health by the way your daughter is asleep and well (I put her to bed before I left). OK....wth.....anyway, so they release me about 12:10 I called to check on kids and let him know I am on the way and get yelled at again aboug him watching my sons and daughter etc........then he leaves after I arrive and I recieved a text at 1 am (though I was asleeP). I woke up in the Am and saw it and figured an apology...........OH NO....it said.....You scare me tonight in showing me how little I am to you and our baby. REALLY...I'm in preterm labor, getting yelled at.....hung up on...yelled at more....and this whole thing is ABOUT HIM??????????? What about me our baby???? UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, so later he accused me of lying about my son calling my dad first, then found out HE TOLD HIM TOO! Then starts accusing me of lying about everything etc.............I asked my sons why they disobeyed their bedtime, and they said my AH couldn't stay awake and were worried their sister who had been sick might wake up and didn't think he would get her! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KING BABY - I think so!!! I felt 0 supported 0 helped and o nothing for his behavior!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so frustrated!!!
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Old 01-06-2010, 09:51 AM
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mama, you SO do not need this stress right now, especially if you've got a history of pre-term labor. I completely empathize with your utter frustration and disgust at his self-centered and aggressive behavior. It is totally not acceptable. Are you keeping your X out of your life as much as possible aside from the necessary contact?

I had no patience whatsoever while preggo with my daughter and had I been in your shoes, I would have let him have it.
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Old 01-06-2010, 10:06 AM
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Gentle. Gentle.
Gentle with yourself and his wounded, yuck self.
Breathe.
You get your mind to do with as you please. You don't get his behavior to do with as you please. He is who he is.
You allow yourself to ease. Relax. Breathe.
You are okay.
You have much good to be thankful for.
You are separated from him, so, good for you for taking care of yourself.
You got him out of your house, now work on getting him out of your head.

Hugs.
Wife
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