counseling
counseling 
Curled up in a good book...
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,542
STBXAH decided to go for counselling for his alcoholism about 6 months before he left. Didn't make a damn bit of difference to the amount he was drinking but did give him plenty of ammunition to use in his manipulations and self justification....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
I filed for divorce and my ah went to detox/treatment.
He came home and started drinking again and then decided to start with a counselor.
I refused marriage counseling until he was in an active recovery program and sober for a period of time longer then a week.
He quit counseling after 2-3 individual sessions and we went together twice in an attempt to learn something so we could parent better. That was his idea/request. I think he just wanted the counselor to tell me I was wrong on all counts and I should do marriage counseling. He thinks the ending of this marriage is pretty much all my fault and also thinks every counselor he's spoken to has agreed with him. Despite the fact that the counselor told him, in front of me, that she would not do marriage counseling when the alcoholic spouse was active and not in a recovery program.
He's still drinking.
He came home and started drinking again and then decided to start with a counselor.
I refused marriage counseling until he was in an active recovery program and sober for a period of time longer then a week.
He quit counseling after 2-3 individual sessions and we went together twice in an attempt to learn something so we could parent better. That was his idea/request. I think he just wanted the counselor to tell me I was wrong on all counts and I should do marriage counseling. He thinks the ending of this marriage is pretty much all my fault and also thinks every counselor he's spoken to has agreed with him. Despite the fact that the counselor told him, in front of me, that she would not do marriage counseling when the alcoholic spouse was active and not in a recovery program.
He's still drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
My RAH has been in and out of therapy - sober and drunk. MC and IC - never stays to complete the work - always thought I needed it more than he did. Surprisingly, most counselors didn't push for recovery when he was drinking. He did seem to get something from it some of the time or he wouldn't have gone back at all.
You can insist on it, but if the person doesn't see the need to change they probably won't continue.
You can insist on it, but if the person doesn't see the need to change they probably won't continue.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: portland, oregon
Posts: 59
kassie 2
Originally Posted by Kassie2 
My RAH has been in and out of therapy - sober and drunk. MC and IC - never stays to complete the work - always thought I needed it more than he did. Surprisingly, most counselors didn't push for recovery when he was drinking. He did seem to get something from it some of the time or he wouldn't have gone back at all.
You can insist on it, but if the person doesn't see the need to change they probably won't continue.
You can insist on it, but if the person doesn't see the need to change they probably won't continue.
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