Seeking support while I extricate myself
aboutdone
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midwest
Posts: 191
My XRAH has a lot of the same tendencies. Things like when I would kick him out, he would wait and sneak into the basement to sleep, or in the back of the van that I wasn't driving. Things are different now though.
It seems you are struggling with what you feel is the right and human thing to do, and what you HAVE to do to end this.
It is sad and tragic that this man is in the shape he is in, however that is not your fault, its his.
Its sad he doesn't have a battery, or a place for his stuff. Yep, I am sorry about that, but how long has he had notice verbally from you that he was to get out, and then legally?
Accepting, is sometimes the hardest part. He does not CARE about his belongings, OR he would have a place for them, or be paying you some sort of storage fee.
My RXAH has no material attachments. None. Zippo. Zilch. It is difficult at times to understand how someone could care so little about their belongings, and I really can't explain it. They just don't.
So, to end this merry-go-round, I would, notify him you will be moving his stuff to the curb. It is then out of your hands on what happens to it.
If you are like me and have a hard time accepting that you are throwing out good stuff, then you place it out there 24 hours before trash pick up. Notify him its on the curb. Trash pickup in 24 hrs whatever he leaves behind. Then go stay somewhere for the next 24. Then you can assume he picked it up, but in all honesty the trash pickup is probably what is going to happen to it. Whatever. Who cares.
I would be out there with 2x4s nailing my garage up until I could get it done the correct way. I will post no trespassing signs. I would then call the police if you find him there.
You HAVE done the right thing. The human thing. The legal thing. You owe him nothing more. Get rid of him now.
Although you may not see it, you are still enabling, merely by allowing his stuff to be there. He knows you care about it, so he is able to manipulate through that.
It seems you are struggling with what you feel is the right and human thing to do, and what you HAVE to do to end this.
It is sad and tragic that this man is in the shape he is in, however that is not your fault, its his.
Its sad he doesn't have a battery, or a place for his stuff. Yep, I am sorry about that, but how long has he had notice verbally from you that he was to get out, and then legally?
Accepting, is sometimes the hardest part. He does not CARE about his belongings, OR he would have a place for them, or be paying you some sort of storage fee.
My RXAH has no material attachments. None. Zippo. Zilch. It is difficult at times to understand how someone could care so little about their belongings, and I really can't explain it. They just don't.
So, to end this merry-go-round, I would, notify him you will be moving his stuff to the curb. It is then out of your hands on what happens to it.
If you are like me and have a hard time accepting that you are throwing out good stuff, then you place it out there 24 hours before trash pick up. Notify him its on the curb. Trash pickup in 24 hrs whatever he leaves behind. Then go stay somewhere for the next 24. Then you can assume he picked it up, but in all honesty the trash pickup is probably what is going to happen to it. Whatever. Who cares.
I would be out there with 2x4s nailing my garage up until I could get it done the correct way. I will post no trespassing signs. I would then call the police if you find him there.
You HAVE done the right thing. The human thing. The legal thing. You owe him nothing more. Get rid of him now.
Although you may not see it, you are still enabling, merely by allowing his stuff to be there. He knows you care about it, so he is able to manipulate through that.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Someone I had legally evicted is sneaking into my garage and sleeping there overnight?
I call cops, have door nailed shut til I have fitted lock to it.
Same chaps gear in my garage months after he's "gone"?
He gets told he has 24 hours to collect it or Salvos, Vinnies or whoever will be getting it.
He has contacted my mother, got a fair bit of money out of her?
Probably batter the mongrel to death. Certainly not just moan about it online.
If you want this man out of your life, stop letting him sleep there, have his stuff there, and above all, do not let him harass your mum into handing over her money to him.
If you want this man out of your life, act towards this happening now, and let him know he will be sad and sorry if he contacts either you or any of your family and friends in future.
Also have a go at attending a few Alanon meetings.
God bless
I call cops, have door nailed shut til I have fitted lock to it.
Same chaps gear in my garage months after he's "gone"?
He gets told he has 24 hours to collect it or Salvos, Vinnies or whoever will be getting it.
He has contacted my mother, got a fair bit of money out of her?
Probably batter the mongrel to death. Certainly not just moan about it online.
If you want this man out of your life, stop letting him sleep there, have his stuff there, and above all, do not let him harass your mum into handing over her money to him.
If you want this man out of your life, act towards this happening now, and let him know he will be sad and sorry if he contacts either you or any of your family and friends in future.
Also have a go at attending a few Alanon meetings.
God bless
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