Nightmare21

On Christmas Eve day, I came home from work and as usual I started getting ready for my next day of work. It started to get later and later and my husband never came home from work. I tried emailing him, calling and text messaging but no answer. He didn’t mention any plans after work so I had no idea where he was. It’s not unusual that he’d be late, but he always answers his phone and that worried me. I must have called about 40 times and left multiple voicemails. I called his friends, they said he left a few hours ago. The rest of his friends haven’t heard from him. I didn’t hear anything until 6:30 am Christmas day. I was a wreck and drew up many conclusions what may have happened to him - car wreck, etc. I’ve been waiting for him to call all evening and was just about to call the hospitals (should have done that earlier) and jails. The call was from a local hospital telling me my husband was admitted because he was found passed out in his car and couldn’t be woken up. Luckily, he was parked in a no parking zone so he wasn’t there long. His blood alcohol level was 5 times the legal limit and he tested positive for benzos. This was coming from a man who, six months ago seldom drank. I questioned his friends who had no idea that this ever happened. According to them, he only had a few drinks and left perfectly fine, maybe even happy. He admitted to making a stop at the liquor store and started drinking alone in his car. He ment to go home but instead, decided to finish up the drinks he bought. During this, he decided to take a few pills because while being alone and not doing nothing Victoria came to his mind. He has no memory of what happened after. I was madder at him than anything else. This isn’t him. This is the first time he’s ever abused drugs. He’s never even smoked pot. He claims he won’t let this happen again but I’ve heard that before. None of this even happened until Victoria left. I know had she been here, none of this would have happened in the first place. I told him today, either he straightens up or I’m out. I don’t need any additional drama. The loss of our daughter is still very fresh and with the holidays it doesn’t make anything easier. I told him to seek help as I have. He hasn’t said a word about it sense and has been sleeping on the sofa since. He says he will figure it out later when his mind is more "clearer" Who knows when that is

trapeze

I have no words of wisdom, I just want to say how very sorry I am for all you are going through. Keep venting!

suki44883

The loss of a child is something I cannot even begin to fathom. Many marriages don't survive it, for various reasons. Everyone needs to grieve in their own way, but from what I've read of your posts, it doesn't sound like your husband has allowed himself to grieve. I don't mean to sound harsh or frighten you, but his stunt on Christmas Eve almost sounds to me like a suicide attempt. He needs to grieve, but it sounds like he's not allowing himself to do that. It would be normal for him to be depressed after all that has happened, but depression can be dangerous. Unfortunately, you can only control yourself and your actions. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this and my heart goes out to you. Please take care of yourself.