Happy Birthday to me...
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 290
Happy Birthday to me...
Sorry, I'm having a little pity party...
It's my birthday and our 1st year anniversary today. AH came home from work last night with 3 40oz beers (and whatever else I didn't see) and decided to drink despite me asking him not to (because as he said, he'll be fine the next day and he wouldn't drink on my birthday). I decided to go to bed early and watch some of my shows and asked him to please clean up his mess in the kitchen.
It's 1:50 pm now and he's still sleeping. He got up at around 1:10pm for a minute to say Happy Birthday and hand me a gift card (that was not wrapped, no birthday card, and he didn't even bother filling out the To:From:Amount section), he got some Aleve and went straight back to bed! I really wasn't expecting much from him after I found out that he would be drinking last night... but I still feel really sad and lonely (especially since my family is miles and miles away)!
So now I will go to the bookstore and coffe shop and do something for myself! Ha, maybe we will actually manage to go to dinner and a movie tonight as we had planned (but I'm not holding my breath)!
Just needed to get this off my chest... thanks for listening!
It's my birthday and our 1st year anniversary today. AH came home from work last night with 3 40oz beers (and whatever else I didn't see) and decided to drink despite me asking him not to (because as he said, he'll be fine the next day and he wouldn't drink on my birthday). I decided to go to bed early and watch some of my shows and asked him to please clean up his mess in the kitchen.
It's 1:50 pm now and he's still sleeping. He got up at around 1:10pm for a minute to say Happy Birthday and hand me a gift card (that was not wrapped, no birthday card, and he didn't even bother filling out the To:From:Amount section), he got some Aleve and went straight back to bed! I really wasn't expecting much from him after I found out that he would be drinking last night... but I still feel really sad and lonely (especially since my family is miles and miles away)!
So now I will go to the bookstore and coffe shop and do something for myself! Ha, maybe we will actually manage to go to dinner and a movie tonight as we had planned (but I'm not holding my breath)!
Just needed to get this off my chest... thanks for listening!
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 115
Happy Birthday and hugs to you! It's bad enough getting ripped off having a birthday so close to Christmas. I hope you have a great day in spite of it and remember, "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to. You would cry too if it happened to you."
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 689
Coffee Shops and Bookstores = my favorite kind of day!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! I hope, if even for just a minute, you enjoy your day, take a deep breath and know how fabulous you are!
I spent my birthday alone, so I know how you feel....trust me. But it's a new year around the corner, THIS will be a better year. Let that be your mantra
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! I hope, if even for just a minute, you enjoy your day, take a deep breath and know how fabulous you are!
I spent my birthday alone, so I know how you feel....trust me. But it's a new year around the corner, THIS will be a better year. Let that be your mantra
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 290
Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes!!!!
I am feeling much better now. I left the house for 2 hours - ran into a very kind and helpful employee at the bookstore, who pointed out a very interesting self-help workbook that includes practical exercises to help people manage overwhelming emotions (I'll let you know if it's helpful once I start using it). Came home and told AH how I felt (because I think it is important for me to be honest with my feelings) - didn't expect an apology (and didn't get one)... but I told him if he still wants to do something it's on him to figure out the times etc. and I guess we are going to do dinner and a movie after all. My mom and my best friend called, I read all of your kind responses, I got some texts and fb messages from people I hadn't heard from in a very long time, and ate some chocolate cake and feel loved again. I refuse to have his alcoholism destroy my life too (gotta keep telling myself that)!
BIG THANKS TO ALL OF YOU again for always being there and helping me pick up the pieces and move forward - I love you guys!
I am feeling much better now. I left the house for 2 hours - ran into a very kind and helpful employee at the bookstore, who pointed out a very interesting self-help workbook that includes practical exercises to help people manage overwhelming emotions (I'll let you know if it's helpful once I start using it). Came home and told AH how I felt (because I think it is important for me to be honest with my feelings) - didn't expect an apology (and didn't get one)... but I told him if he still wants to do something it's on him to figure out the times etc. and I guess we are going to do dinner and a movie after all. My mom and my best friend called, I read all of your kind responses, I got some texts and fb messages from people I hadn't heard from in a very long time, and ate some chocolate cake
and feel loved again. I refuse to have his alcoholism destroy my life too (gotta keep telling myself that)!BIG THANKS TO ALL OF YOU again for always being there and helping me pick up the pieces and move forward - I love you guys!
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 74
Dear Lotus,
Happy Birthday! Do something for yourself today and forget him.
In September, it was my birthday and my husband spent it drunk in the backyard. I went to a friend's house and she helped me celebrate my birthday. Tomorrow is my husband's birthday and he has made a huge deal about how he wants to celebrate it. Needless to say, I am feeling very hurt still about his drinking and how it still gets to me, even when I try not to let it.
Do we want to live like this? I am still trying to figure my answer out!
Let's plan on the next birthday being a truly wonderful one with people who love us and value us!
Happy Birthday! Do something for yourself today and forget him.
In September, it was my birthday and my husband spent it drunk in the backyard. I went to a friend's house and she helped me celebrate my birthday. Tomorrow is my husband's birthday and he has made a huge deal about how he wants to celebrate it. Needless to say, I am feeling very hurt still about his drinking and how it still gets to me, even when I try not to let it.
Do we want to live like this? I am still trying to figure my answer out!
Let's plan on the next birthday being a truly wonderful one with people who love us and value us!
Last edited by HanahGoodness; 12-29-2009 at 08:04 PM. Reason: typo
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
Lotus I hope you had and continue to have a fantastic birthday. It is sad that those who should be the ones celebrating with us are the ones the cause us pain. . .but don't let him do that to you.
Hope he does not ruin dinner (I've had that happen--not fun).
If he does--celebrate your birthday again tomorrow!! I love do overs. HAVE A BLAST!! Go back to the bookstore and buy something totally friviolous and have a double mocha latte with extra whipped cream!
Happy Birthday Lotus!
Hope he does not ruin dinner (I've had that happen--not fun).
If he does--celebrate your birthday again tomorrow!! I love do overs. HAVE A BLAST!! Go back to the bookstore and buy something totally friviolous and have a double mocha latte with extra whipped cream!
Happy Birthday Lotus!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 290
well we didn't end up going to the movie or dinner! I woke him up from a nap asking if we would go soon - and he started with "do you still want to go?" "it's a long movie..." etc. - making it pretty obvious that he didn't want to go see a movie! I just freaked out - the promising me one thing and then cancelling on me last minute is a big trigger for me! So we argued for a bit and then he said it really wasn't worth going out anymore and us spending dinner not talking to each other and just being mad!
Oh well... I like the do-over idea wife2kids - I might just do that!
Thanks again for all the birthday wishes... you helped me through the day
Oh well... I like the do-over idea wife2kids - I might just do that!
Thanks again for all the birthday wishes... you helped me through the day
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,149
LOL yes, KEEp having your birthday every day until you get the one you deserve
I hope yesterday wasn't too painful, and I'd like to thank you for jolting me out of my low mood today (it's my 38th today), I've had a few friends cancel and some not reply to my invitation to go out and was feeling blue about it. For the past 4 years I have spent my birthday looking after the child/children on my own whilst AH drank all day/pretended he had tried to arrange a babysitter but couldn't/ran out at mid-day to "get my present" (aka meet up with drinking buddy and come home 3 hours later with some jewellery in a plastic bag)/cooked an inedible meal because he was too blasted to co-ordinate it, passed out at 4 & 9pm and 2am, picked a fight, glared at me, babbled incoherently etc etc.
I know how much a ruined birthday sucks, and how painful that can be, I'm so thankful that *for me* it is better this year, I dearly wish all of yours are better from now on too.
I hope yesterday wasn't too painful, and I'd like to thank you for jolting me out of my low mood today (it's my 38th today), I've had a few friends cancel and some not reply to my invitation to go out and was feeling blue about it. For the past 4 years I have spent my birthday looking after the child/children on my own whilst AH drank all day/pretended he had tried to arrange a babysitter but couldn't/ran out at mid-day to "get my present" (aka meet up with drinking buddy and come home 3 hours later with some jewellery in a plastic bag)/cooked an inedible meal because he was too blasted to co-ordinate it, passed out at 4 & 9pm and 2am, picked a fight, glared at me, babbled incoherently etc etc.
I know how much a ruined birthday sucks, and how painful that can be, I'm so thankful that *for me* it is better this year, I dearly wish all of yours are better from now on too.
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