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Hi, I am here because I am a son of an alchoholic and looking for help. My story is just like most family members of alchoholics. I really feel lost and hurt by my father's continual abuse. Please help.
gpj
gpj
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Hi gpj,
I just wanted to come in and say hello and welcome, from a snowy Christmas Eve in Colorado.
My father was also an alcoholic, along with my mother, and I remember how much it hurt.
When I was younger, no one took the time to tell me the "three C's" of living with someone who abuses alcohol:
You didn't cause it.
You can't control it.
And you dont' have the power to cure it.
His choices were his choices, but I wanted to so badly to change him. I felt lost and hurt because, one, I was afraid of losing my dad, and two, I felt guilty for wanting a different dad, one who was there for me, one who put me before alcohol in his life.
As an adult, long after moving away from him for my own safety, I discovered there were people just like all of these SoberRecovery people who had suffered the same way, and we help each other to understand, to stop the pain, and rebuild our happiness.
My dad did not physically abuse me, but am I reading right that yours does? Do you have somewhere else you can go, a place where you can feel safe, regroup your thoughts and find a support system?
I'm glad you found us, gpj. You're in good company here....please share with us and maybe we can help.
Hugs,
GL
I just wanted to come in and say hello and welcome, from a snowy Christmas Eve in Colorado.
My father was also an alcoholic, along with my mother, and I remember how much it hurt.
When I was younger, no one took the time to tell me the "three C's" of living with someone who abuses alcohol:
You didn't cause it.
You can't control it.
And you dont' have the power to cure it.
His choices were his choices, but I wanted to so badly to change him. I felt lost and hurt because, one, I was afraid of losing my dad, and two, I felt guilty for wanting a different dad, one who was there for me, one who put me before alcohol in his life.
As an adult, long after moving away from him for my own safety, I discovered there were people just like all of these SoberRecovery people who had suffered the same way, and we help each other to understand, to stop the pain, and rebuild our happiness.
My dad did not physically abuse me, but am I reading right that yours does? Do you have somewhere else you can go, a place where you can feel safe, regroup your thoughts and find a support system?
I'm glad you found us, gpj. You're in good company here....please share with us and maybe we can help.
Hugs,
GL
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Originally Posted by gpj 
Hi, I am here because I am a son of an alchoholic and looking for help. My story is just like most family members of alchoholics. I really feel lost and hurt by my father's continual abuse. Please help.
gpj
gpj
you do need help. i am an adult child of an alcoholic. i am now 50 years old and still have some reflex fears from my father's alcoholism and emotional/verbal abuse. i had to get sober myself after drinking for twenty years to learn that i don't have to earn love and respect as a human being it is my right as a human being.
you don't mention how old you are, but my hope for you is that you find some support either through adult children of alcoholics or some other support group. there are also groups available for teens.
i grew up alone and lonely in a house full of sick people. find some healthy people to interact with and stop the pain however you can. please don't start to numb the pain with alcohol or other drugs, it only covers it up and comes back with a vengeance.
remember,
you did not cause it,
you cannot control it,
and you cannot cure it.
take care of yourself, i hope you find your way.
Last edited by wicked; 12-26-2009 at 03:50 AM. Reason: give love has beat me to it! the message still remains.
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