I did it...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Someplace USA
Posts: 415
I did it...
I moved out 3 weeks ago. I'm so happy not to be living with the insanity. He doesn't have my address. In a moment of weakness I did give him my phone number. He's only called once. There is so much going on; but it's not as insane as what was going on. I just can't explain it.
In another moment of weakness I left him a Christmas gift at our house while he was at work. I would like to smack myself now. He called (the only one since I left) to thank me. Then to give me crap about leaving and filing for spousal support and cry. Also to tell me he hasn't been drinking. As if I would believe that. That was last night. I hope we don't talk again.
Over all things are good. Due to my car wreck I have hip surgery on Jan 4th and then I think my doctor may have to check my other hip. It was also found that I have something growing on a kidney so I'll have to deal with that at some point. But I figure even if it was cancer they can't due much about it over the holidays. I get lots of strange things due to the neurological illness. That was one of the things that kept me married for so long.
I really don't miss him at all. I feel guilty like "is he lonely?"... You know codie things. I miss my big house and my money. I don't have access to the accounts anymore and he's spending like a kid in a candy store with hundreds in his wallet. I LOVE the peace here. The quite moments in the mornings before my young adult kids are up. My cat the cuddles on my make shift bed... I hardly took anything when I left because I just left while he was at work one day... I only get a slight ache about the "stuff" left behind when I need it... like a washer and dryer...
But when I get my support I'll get that stuff so I just have to wait... I wanted to give you all an update... I'm headed out now for blood work...
Believe it or not it can be done... even if your chronically ill... on disability and have lots of stuff against you... I just had to pray lots and do it afraid. (I do believe I have my HP (God) behind me; helping me...)
Hugs...
In another moment of weakness I left him a Christmas gift at our house while he was at work. I would like to smack myself now. He called (the only one since I left) to thank me. Then to give me crap about leaving and filing for spousal support and cry. Also to tell me he hasn't been drinking. As if I would believe that. That was last night. I hope we don't talk again.
Over all things are good. Due to my car wreck I have hip surgery on Jan 4th and then I think my doctor may have to check my other hip. It was also found that I have something growing on a kidney so I'll have to deal with that at some point. But I figure even if it was cancer they can't due much about it over the holidays. I get lots of strange things due to the neurological illness. That was one of the things that kept me married for so long.
I really don't miss him at all. I feel guilty like "is he lonely?"... You know codie things. I miss my big house and my money. I don't have access to the accounts anymore and he's spending like a kid in a candy store with hundreds in his wallet. I LOVE the peace here. The quite moments in the mornings before my young adult kids are up. My cat the cuddles on my make shift bed... I hardly took anything when I left because I just left while he was at work one day... I only get a slight ache about the "stuff" left behind when I need it... like a washer and dryer...
But when I get my support I'll get that stuff so I just have to wait... I wanted to give you all an update... I'm headed out now for blood work...
Believe it or not it can be done... even if your chronically ill... on disability and have lots of stuff against you... I just had to pray lots and do it afraid. (I do believe I have my HP (God) behind me; helping me...)
Hugs...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Originally Posted by brundle 
Thanks all... back from blood work...
do you think you are still that frog boiling to death in the water?
i think not.
maybe you could say you jumped out in time to save your life?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
BRUNDLE!!!!!!!!!!!!
So glad you are finding moments of peace and sanity! Wow, you have taken a huge step in the most positive direction of a new and peaceful and serene life! Brava!
Many hugs for courage and strength as you move forward and all the best for a bright 2010!
peace-
b
So glad you are finding moments of peace and sanity! Wow, you have taken a huge step in the most positive direction of a new and peaceful and serene life! Brava!
Many hugs for courage and strength as you move forward and all the best for a bright 2010!
peace-
b
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
I'm SO GLAD to see this! I'm so happy for you, proud and grateful.
This explains the car wreck, in my twisted little mind. Brundle gets in car accident, which leads to the doctor finding a hidden little bit of something nasty and taking care of it right away. Perfect!
Due to my car wreck I have hip surgery on Jan 4th and then I think my doctor may have to check my other hip. It was also found that I have something growing on a kidney so I'll have to deal with that at some point.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
brundle I am sooooooooooooooooooooooo glad for you!!!!!
I am glad you are taken care of health-wise, its funny how you start getting out of codieland (or at least realizing there are other realms) and it is reflected in so many other things not just leaving a toxic person.
You are an inspiration!!
I am glad you are taken care of health-wise, its funny how you start getting out of codieland (or at least realizing there are other realms) and it is reflected in so many other things not just leaving a toxic person.
You are an inspiration!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 494
good for you. Isnt it strange? When I left my ex there were many times (still happens sometimes) that I felt guilty. Like she "needed me" and I was bad for givign up so "easy" -(after 3 years of hell including a failed attempt at couples counsulling). Anyway, I have a new g/f now who is simply amazing. It is so peaceful and fulifilling I sort of kick myself for waiting it out with the ex so long. As the staying goes though, you will stay until you are ready to go.
Life is great for me now. Wishing you luck on you new journey to a new and happier life.
(FWIW - a book I reallly enjoyed was "getting past your breakup" by Susan Elliott. More about you, your patterns, and a self discovery book than about breaking up but it is a great book. You may want to check it out. She also has a website called "getting past your past". Good stuff.)
Life is great for me now. Wishing you luck on you new journey to a new and happier life.
(FWIW - a book I reallly enjoyed was "getting past your breakup" by Susan Elliott. More about you, your patterns, and a self discovery book than about breaking up but it is a great book. You may want to check it out. She also has a website called "getting past your past". Good stuff.)
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