January is almost here - and he's leaving
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: VA
Posts: 85
January is almost here - and he's leaving
Not sure how I feel - good actually - better than I thought. I've stated on the boards before that I was giving AH until January to show meaningful progress. About six months from our trip to the ER for DT's and countless relapses (if you can even call it that) later, and meaningful recovery just doesn't appear to be in the cards.
He went into DT's again the week before Thanksgiving. I nursed him through it on Phenylbarbital and prescription sleeping pills - prescribed to him by his GP and the Doctor treating him for alcoholism. He had been picked up by the police earlier in the day wandering around not knowing where he was as the hallucinations had returned. He said he never wanted to be brought home again by the police. Thanksgiving and the week after were nice. He was sober, his parents were in town - and I started to think maybe this time will last but it was not to be.
Last week, he drank again - and again. He sobered up for two days and was supposed to drive up to bring my oldest home from College on Monday. He made it there, but she called me 15 minutes into the drive home and told me she'd made him pull over because he was driving fast and erratically. She had taken his keys from him before calling. So, I left work and drove two hours up the road. He wanted his keys back so "he could go home", but I wouldn't do it - gave him the choice get in the car with me or stay there but I wasn't giving him the keys. So, I left and for the next four hours he kept calling wondering when I was coming back with his keys; until his phone died. He ended up checking into a hotel and yesterday my Dad drove up and gave him back his keys.
I had told him January was the date, and that the last "relapse" was the last. So, he knew he had to leave. Fortunately, his old boss called and offered him his job back. He was always sober on the job and worked there for 15 years as one of their top performers. He left the job 18 months ago to get a handle on the drinking and to be home more for the kids - it was shift work so he did miss out on a lot of family events. But, his drinking was much better when (its all relative) when he was working, and him quitting the job was probably the worst thing he could have done.
He's planning to move out after the first; looking at getting an apartment with a guy he used to work with and still works there.
And, I'm happy. I want him to recover; I still love him - and probably always will. He asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I told him he same thing I've always wanted - his sobriety, the one thing he can't give me. Him leaving I think is good for me and good for him. And, if he does manage to clean up - well there's always hope but at least now I'm not banking on it.
He went into DT's again the week before Thanksgiving. I nursed him through it on Phenylbarbital and prescription sleeping pills - prescribed to him by his GP and the Doctor treating him for alcoholism. He had been picked up by the police earlier in the day wandering around not knowing where he was as the hallucinations had returned. He said he never wanted to be brought home again by the police. Thanksgiving and the week after were nice. He was sober, his parents were in town - and I started to think maybe this time will last but it was not to be.
Last week, he drank again - and again. He sobered up for two days and was supposed to drive up to bring my oldest home from College on Monday. He made it there, but she called me 15 minutes into the drive home and told me she'd made him pull over because he was driving fast and erratically. She had taken his keys from him before calling. So, I left work and drove two hours up the road. He wanted his keys back so "he could go home", but I wouldn't do it - gave him the choice get in the car with me or stay there but I wasn't giving him the keys. So, I left and for the next four hours he kept calling wondering when I was coming back with his keys; until his phone died. He ended up checking into a hotel and yesterday my Dad drove up and gave him back his keys.
I had told him January was the date, and that the last "relapse" was the last. So, he knew he had to leave. Fortunately, his old boss called and offered him his job back. He was always sober on the job and worked there for 15 years as one of their top performers. He left the job 18 months ago to get a handle on the drinking and to be home more for the kids - it was shift work so he did miss out on a lot of family events. But, his drinking was much better when (its all relative) when he was working, and him quitting the job was probably the worst thing he could have done.
He's planning to move out after the first; looking at getting an apartment with a guy he used to work with and still works there.
And, I'm happy. I want him to recover; I still love him - and probably always will. He asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I told him he same thing I've always wanted - his sobriety, the one thing he can't give me. Him leaving I think is good for me and good for him. And, if he does manage to clean up - well there's always hope but at least now I'm not banking on it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
if it was me, i wouldn't wait until january. i would ask him to go now. that way, you can have a drama-free holiday season!
puckett, in the two weeks between now and his scheduled departure, many things could happen, of which you won't be able to turn back the hands of time.
for example, that was your oldest daughter in a life-threatening situation of forcing an erratic driver to pull over. she handled it well but next time maybe won't be so lucky. or, it could be someone else you love in the car with him.
leaving is a very dangerous time. at least it was in my case. anything could happen in those two weeks before he leaves.
puckett, in the two weeks between now and his scheduled departure, many things could happen, of which you won't be able to turn back the hands of time.
for example, that was your oldest daughter in a life-threatening situation of forcing an erratic driver to pull over. she handled it well but next time maybe won't be so lucky. or, it could be someone else you love in the car with him.
leaving is a very dangerous time. at least it was in my case. anything could happen in those two weeks before he leaves.
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