Perhaps off topic - Going No Contact with (another) ex
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Perhaps off topic - Going No Contact with (another) ex
Well I received a couple of emails and Hi5 message from an ex i have not seen for a long time. He is asking how I am doing and wondering about me and has been thinking a lot about me...
Then I started remembering.
When we were together we were in university. I was the only woman in most of our classes and I used to live in a bungalow just next to our university.
We would go there and have a great time. We used to be intimate in a very special way (not physical, it was very innocent and we never did it LOL). I cooked hot cakes. Of course he was this little genius, the most serious guy and the "challenge" for me. I just HAD to know what made him tick. Well in the bungalow everything was nice.
Then at class he would ignore me. Once he crashed and I told his best friend who asked about him. Well this ex got ANGRY with me for telling his friend. I would talk to him in class and he would act aloof. It was like he was overly worried about what his male friends would think.
I don't remember well how we broke up, but I remember I was out on holidays in France, for my sister's wedding and I was a mess. I recall I was sad for months and he never called or emailed, I would have killed for a signal but no.. nothing.
Then I came back. He had graduated but I was still studying.
He had a new gf and went to yoga classes WITH HER. He lived in school because she was there. Man did that hurt! In my graduation party he came by with her to say "hi". (This girl was friend of some other "friends" so we were cordial... she was younger than me and I don't think she knew I was an ex of his bf). I recall them hugging seeing fireworks and I was feeling really FAT lol and replaced (oh a common theme it seems) and hurt.
Fast forward.
I meet him at a starbucks years later. He hits on me, acts flirtatious. He was still with her. I could have had a night stand with him but I didn't.
And he admitted having cheated on her already.
So, just because once you see an ex in love it does not mean everything is joy and happiness... nope, he was still a jerk. He had tons of other qualities but respect for his partner was not one of them and it is vital !!!
Of course I wanted to reply back to him and be "friends" and tell him about my life but I recall those bad times in France while I should have enjoyed my holiday. So many tears for what exactly???
So I am deleting those emails and blocking him. My friendship is worth more now... and no I am no longer "available" when he feels lonely. It is not only up to him anymore...
As a girl friend told me "that kind of people always end up alone". I hope the girl realized who he was and dumped him. I only interacted with her a few times but she seemed nice and deserves better. I guess he is reaching out now because he is in bad company just with himself
And another circle closes...
Then I started remembering.
When we were together we were in university. I was the only woman in most of our classes and I used to live in a bungalow just next to our university.
We would go there and have a great time. We used to be intimate in a very special way (not physical, it was very innocent and we never did it LOL). I cooked hot cakes. Of course he was this little genius, the most serious guy and the "challenge" for me. I just HAD to know what made him tick. Well in the bungalow everything was nice.
Then at class he would ignore me. Once he crashed and I told his best friend who asked about him. Well this ex got ANGRY with me for telling his friend. I would talk to him in class and he would act aloof. It was like he was overly worried about what his male friends would think.
I don't remember well how we broke up, but I remember I was out on holidays in France, for my sister's wedding and I was a mess. I recall I was sad for months and he never called or emailed, I would have killed for a signal but no.. nothing.
Then I came back. He had graduated but I was still studying.
He had a new gf and went to yoga classes WITH HER. He lived in school because she was there. Man did that hurt! In my graduation party he came by with her to say "hi". (This girl was friend of some other "friends" so we were cordial... she was younger than me and I don't think she knew I was an ex of his bf). I recall them hugging seeing fireworks and I was feeling really FAT lol and replaced (oh a common theme it seems) and hurt.
Fast forward.
I meet him at a starbucks years later. He hits on me, acts flirtatious. He was still with her. I could have had a night stand with him but I didn't.
And he admitted having cheated on her already.
So, just because once you see an ex in love it does not mean everything is joy and happiness... nope, he was still a jerk. He had tons of other qualities but respect for his partner was not one of them and it is vital !!!
Of course I wanted to reply back to him and be "friends" and tell him about my life but I recall those bad times in France while I should have enjoyed my holiday. So many tears for what exactly???
So I am deleting those emails and blocking him. My friendship is worth more now... and no I am no longer "available" when he feels lonely. It is not only up to him anymore...
As a girl friend told me "that kind of people always end up alone". I hope the girl realized who he was and dumped him. I only interacted with her a few times but she seemed nice and deserves better. I guess he is reaching out now because he is in bad company just with himself
And another circle closes...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 689
I really love this post.... And good for you!!
Before I deleted my facebook account altogether I had a couple of ex's on there. When I really started thinking about it, I had to ask myself why???? These guys were jerks to me, they didn't care about my feelings when they had me, and they're not my "friends"...so why in the world do I keep a technological connection with them?
Ok, so they can see me now and maybe regret how they treated me...?....
Well, that serves no purpose either, I don't want them anymore so there's no need to communicate. Delete delete delete.
I am beginning the process of not keeping people in my life just to have them there. I only want to surround myself with people I know really care about me. I'm glad to have seperated myself from anyone toxic, or anyone who really isn't a friend of mine.
Before I deleted my facebook account altogether I had a couple of ex's on there. When I really started thinking about it, I had to ask myself why???? These guys were jerks to me, they didn't care about my feelings when they had me, and they're not my "friends"...so why in the world do I keep a technological connection with them?
Ok, so they can see me now and maybe regret how they treated me...?....
Well, that serves no purpose either, I don't want them anymore so there's no need to communicate. Delete delete delete.
I am beginning the process of not keeping people in my life just to have them there. I only want to surround myself with people I know really care about me. I'm glad to have seperated myself from anyone toxic, or anyone who really isn't a friend of mine.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
he was still a jerk. He had tons of other qualities but respect for his partner was not one of them and it is vital !!!
Good for you for recognizing this.....I am sensing that having a partner who respects you is on your MUST HAVE list if you are going to share your heart with someone!!
I mean, it is Christmastime...time to make wish lists!
peace-
b
Good for you for recognizing this.....I am sensing that having a partner who respects you is on your MUST HAVE list if you are going to share your heart with someone!!
I mean, it is Christmastime...time to make wish lists!
peace-
b
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
There you go again TC, making healthy choices. BRAVO!!
If we are to ever stop the habits the got us here, we have to make those tough choices and say no when we would much rather say a breathy oh yes.
Guys like the one you are describing must keep addresses and numbers of women the way I hang on to the numbers of veterinarians I've taken my pets to over the years. Because I never know when I'll be in their neck of the woods again and need their services.
I think I speak for both of us when I say that we are no longer in those woods and our services are no longer available to likes of him.
YOU GO GIRL!!!
Alice
If we are to ever stop the habits the got us here, we have to make those tough choices and say no when we would much rather say a breathy oh yes.
Guys like the one you are describing must keep addresses and numbers of women the way I hang on to the numbers of veterinarians I've taken my pets to over the years. Because I never know when I'll be in their neck of the woods again and need their services.
I think I speak for both of us when I say that we are no longer in those woods and our services are no longer available to likes of him.
YOU GO GIRL!!!
Alice
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
I got another email from this same ex !!
"Hi I am YY, do you still remember me? just saying hi... I haven't known anything about you for a long time, everything alright? what's up? well you know I am around here if you need anything. I send you a hug"
Guess what happened, maybe his GF finally found out he is a CHEATER and left him, so now he can't find his Teddy Bear and wonders if Im still up to whatever he wants so he doesnt spend 5 seconds alone. OMG! Not that!!!!!!
Some male CANT sleep alone. They just CANT. (Cant... stand themselves?lol)
I thought I had blocked him on *****o!.. you got your chance, buddy and you were a jerk :rotfxko
"Hi I am YY, do you still remember me? just saying hi... I haven't known anything about you for a long time, everything alright? what's up? well you know I am around here if you need anything. I send you a hug"
Guess what happened, maybe his GF finally found out he is a CHEATER and left him, so now he can't find his Teddy Bear and wonders if Im still up to whatever he wants so he doesnt spend 5 seconds alone. OMG! Not that!!!!!!
Some male CANT sleep alone. They just CANT. (Cant... stand themselves?lol)
I thought I had blocked him on *****o!.. you got your chance, buddy and you were a jerk :rotfxko
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
I think so too but I like to have hope that there are Men out there not only adolescents disguised in a grown up body. I know there are I just dont know them lol
By now its not so "going NC with ppl" but more like "WHO do I actually talk to"? so far it involves cats, parents, sister and bf who has been behaving better. OH and SR. and my boss. Best girl friend. Period lol
By now its not so "going NC with ppl" but more like "WHO do I actually talk to"? so far it involves cats, parents, sister and bf who has been behaving better. OH and SR. and my boss. Best girl friend. Period lol
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