Peace2All

I've been going to Al-Anon meetings for about 3 months now. When I started it was 6 days a week, now it's 3-4. I'm having a very difficult time finding a sponsor because the overwhelming majority of people at the meetings in my area are women (and I'm a guy). The few guys who attend either aren't ready or willing to take on sponsees. I have regular telephone conversation with several of them, but that's just friendship/support.

Everyone tells me that attending the meetings is good, but to really reap the benefits of this program I need to "work the steps." I've got Paths to Recovery and have read steps 1 through 3 about four times each now. I do find that helpful, but I know that's not all there is to it.

So, without a sponsor what should I be doing with these steps to really "work" them? I'm assuming that step 4 without a sponsor is futile (although I do have the Blueprint book).

Any guidance here would be most appreciated. (sorry for rambling)

Spiritual Seeker

Branch out and go to mtgs. in surrounding areas where there might be more men that have enough time to be willing to sponsor.

Get the How alanon Works book.

I use to be in Princeton part time on business for two yrs. and attended a noon mtg at the Church downtown that shared the back parking lot with CVS drug store. I haven't had to come there for two yrs. now. I miss it.

bookwyrm

Have you read through the stickies at to top of the forum? Have a look here and see if this helps a little: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tep-study.html

incitingsilence

So, without a sponsor what should I be doing with these steps to really "work" them? I'm assuming that step 4 without a sponsor is futile

Nothing is futile if it raises self awareness and I do find step four to be just that, a journey within oneself ... maybe more since one has to actively do the work a willingness to seek out oneself.
It does tend to make everything look different if one can stay within themselves and are still not looking at everyone else around as the reason or best excuse to dismiss the obvious. Maybe that is where the need for the sponsor comes in to reel one back in but I had none and nor do I find that to be a wrong way.

I found healing within this step and perspective I really needed for me.

And I do find step 4 as being necessary to really get the first three, they don't seem to be all that workable mostly just become a twisted dance of constantly revisiting them

If you can be honest with yourself and are done looking around at that what was done to then why not go for it, you can always keep the door open to a sponsor.

Good luck!