Need strength to follow through this time
 

Dear friends. Its been a long time. I'm happy to say I'm much stronger thanks to this program. My A has been in and out of me and my 2 children's lives now for 2 yrs. He has relapsed on and off with alcohol or drugs. His family has totally disengaged in his life, he started a successful buisness on-line which is gone now, and his committment to get in recovery lasted one week. True during that week he went to 3 mtgs; however, last night was drinking again with rationalization,etc.

I'm tired gang and not willing to get on this ride again. He regularly screens calls to avoid confrontation and did last night. I have asked him to move his things out of my house and we wouldn't even consider anything until he was in recovery for a couple of months. I know he has no where else to go and I think I haven't acted before now because of this.

In my gut/head I think this is the right decision for me and my kids. In my heart I'm hesitant and insecure about this.

What do ya'll think....?????

Stick to your first thought. Being a child of a parent that abused alcohol I can feel for your children. And also being a parent myself. My kids are my first priority. As a child I seen that my mother was stressed, frustrated, and tired by my fathers' behavior. When she was going through it she made less time for us. Or she wasn't fully there because she was contantly worrying about him.

So what I am saying is that the kids will remember and can be affected by this time. So think about them as your support. Make yourself whole for them.

Quote "I know he has no where else to go and I think I haven't acted before now because of this. "

Cajun girl, they always have a place to go. Even if it is a park bench that is not your problem. He makes his choices, now you make yours. I am a single mom of 3 kids and one on the way. I KNOW that they are ok when I am ok. So I guess my question to you is are you OK? Decisions like this are so tough, but usually you already know the answer on the inside. Following through is the most difficult part. This I know well my friend.

LG

Hi Cajun Girl
It sounds like you are getting tired of being wrapped up in this. It also sounds like you are balancing things on the HOPE that he will get sober for REAL. There has to be a part of you that is willing to let him go, because you are holding YOURSELF back. And the truth of the matter is, that he will get sober only when and if he is ready... whether you are there or not.

So, like Kal said, go with your feelings.
There needs to be priorities here for you and your children... And sometimes, like the saying goes "Nothing changes if nothing changes". You can begin now by making healthy changes :).

Meg