Recovered1

Ahhhh, this makes three this week! I am supposed to be focusing on my own addiction but so far my one friend (I mentioned in my other thread) is at home drinking after a broken leg due to drinking, another woman in my support group ended up in the hospital Wed due to alcoholic seizures and now my friend of 10 years - I cannot get a hold of him and have a very bad feeling about things. He is 74 and drinks and takes SOMA (muscle relaxers). He doesn't take a little, he takes a LOT of them. Anyway, I cannot reach him today and it's not like him to not have called to say he was going back to CA or to check in at all. I looked up all the hospitals in the area where he is and there are five or six. I am debating calling all the hospitals in the area. Secretly I am hoping he is sitting in some jail cell where he is safe and will learn his lesson.

Anyway, his wife knows he drinks when he goes out of town. She just doesn't know how much he drinks or how many pills he takes with those drinks. She knows me, I know her but she doesn't like me too much. She did visit my house in the Spring but just cut off contact with me even though I was trying to just be a friend to both of them. I regard my friend as the father I never had. I've kept an eye on his trips for the past ten years and have had to make sure he doesn't get out of control. This in spite of my multiple times of getting out of control. At this point, I am just ready to call his wife and clue her in to everything. Yeah, she won't want to talk to me, he may no longer be my friend (and I really do value him in my life), but I have had it with addicts this week!!! I don't want to do anything stupid but I am so frustrated and I don't know what to do. He is four hours from me, six hours from her and I don't have his address. If I did, I'd call the police and ask them to look in on him. He only has a cell phone.

Anyway, thank you for letting me type all of this out. I suppose I could just sit and fume and try to watch TV, but I am just all worked up over this. I feel stupid posting in F&F (as I am an addict!) but since I've had to deal with three situations this week, two of which I am feeling absolutely hopeless to help, I thought I'd post this here. THANK YOU!

Pelican

The 3 C's:

You did not cause these events
You can not control these events
You will not cure these events

Remember your Serenity Prayer

God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

It's time to put your focus and energy where it will do the most good: on your personal recovery. Take care of yourself, your sobriety is your priority.

Hi, I'm known as Pelican and I'm a recovering alcoholic. Pleased to meet you!
I'm also a recovering codependent exspouse of an active alcoholic.

Recovered1

Thanks, Pelican! Nice to meet you too!

I will remember the three Cs. I took my high blood pressure medication after all of this. I must remember to put it in a little thingy 7 day box so I don't screw up, which I might have today.

I must let go of this notion I can "Make A Difference." Maybe I can make a difference in the type of jobs I've held when volunteering. That's a good thing.

However, these people are driving me crazy! I am just staying close to SR and realizing it is not my problem what is going on. We do (alcoholics) bring these things on ourselves with our drinking. It's not my "job" to save anyone, no matter how desperately I might try. My job is to save me and show up at my meeting tomorrow.