Marriage Counseling w RAH but Thru a Different Lens...
 

Hey All...

I am going to a new marriage counselor tomorrow with my RAH. Nutshell: he has been sober for 5 years; but is working thru some fairly bad behavior issues. He cannot let go of this whole email exchange I had with his friend. It keeps coming up; he cannot let it go. And, he cannot put it into perspective as to what just might have led up to the wheels starting to fall off of the marriage bus. :e136:

We both go to individual counseling and it has helped tremendously. This time, it's different. I have pulled the gloves off-I know more about myself than I did even a year ago and we have been married 7 years. A week ago-I told him I have no problems with him being mad-but leave me out of it. That isn't a healing situation, and I cannot keep trusting his words without the actions. We both know that we have options to walk away or to work on things. I hope that this is real, but I have a wonderful sense of offering it up to my HP. NOW I know I cannot control him his emotions or his decisions about whether he thinks I am the one for him. I can only sit there and be truthful and in a healthy state of mind.

Goes without saying (or perhaps you can feel it oozing out of this post), that I am exhausted. I have a very busy professional life-and have only wanted a partner to share my life with-even the ups and downs. I don't want this life we have led to continue, and at least I know what I want and that's all that really counts. I know I love him. I've told him if not him-no one. Yes, I want a companion, but I want a healthy relationship and there is no bargaining on this one any more.

So...around 11am MT, send some good thoughts toward the Mermaidgirl, won't ya? :mog :tyou

just gorgeous. i love it. thank you!