FSquared

Hi all. Its been a while since I've posted. The household recovery is still tracking. But here it is nearly 6 months since we embarked on our journey(s)...and I'm finding it hard to get involved with a sponsor. I have asked one person, who was not able to do it...didn't feel they were sponsor material...and not enough time in the program.

I go to a regular meeting where there are men who could sponsor me. But I find myself unable to approach them. We even spoke about this as a topic of a meeting recently. I freely admit I'm not making all the necessary steps to get there.

When it comes to the point of actually talking to someone, I freeze up. I am not unwilling. I am desperately wanting more out of my recovery. I suppose I'm so full of fear I get paralyzed.

Does anyone else struggle with this? What is it about? What did you do to get beyond it?

Help again...

trapeze

I'm afraid to ask anyone to be my sponsor. Asking for help is difficult for me. I think part of my fear is that I haven't committed to working the steps yet.

cmhcali

Hello... I sponsor 6 woman at the moment. I will tell you from experience someone who is doing the work and doing the program wants to be asked. It is an honor to have someone ask me to help them to recover from a hopeless state of mind and body. I know what it feels like to be helpless and alone and know the fear of asking someone to sponsor me, but being a sponsor now all that fear is gone. Just go ahead and ask. If they say no trust that there is a reason that person was not chosen for you or ask them if they can direct you towards someone that is sponsoring. Good luck on your search

tigger11

If it would help you, ask someone to be your temporary sponsor. That way, you both have an "out" if and when you find a "permanent" one.

I agree with Cali, too. Not only would it be an honor to be asked, but it also helps the sponsor to keep going through the steps, at least I would think so.

silkspin

I've been in the program for just over a year, and only one month ago asked someone to be my sponsor. I too was scared and anxious even though I'd heard that people always respond nicely, even if the answer is no.

I found 3 people to whom I related, so I see-sawed between who to ask. I had a few conversations with them where I thought 'maybe this is it, I'll ask' and then I chickened out. So instead I did what the program suggests for a lot of stuff - I decided not to decide or push it, and when it would be time, it would come to me. And it kind of happened that way. One day when I was feeling particularly down about a specific situation, I made it a point to attend my home al anon meeting. It is an afternoon meeting and sometimes attendance is low. This day, it was just the one person that I think I most related to. She and I had our own meeting and I was able to vent to her and she offered very helpful things. As we left together, I felt an anxious pang, but said she really helped me, and maybe she could be my sponsor. And she accepted!

I admit it's a bit nerve-wracking, but I'm glad I summoned the strength when I really did feel it was right. No matter how easy another may make the process, we still have to make that jump to ask the question, but I guarantee you will be glad you did. Along with the jump in overcoming my fear of asking for a sponsor, I also made a forward jump in my recovery since that day. I hope that may help you when you find someone you'd like to approach.