Talk me down`
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: In the barn
Posts: 324
Talk me down`
Just got a call from the H. I had told him there was a piece of mail for him at the house but forgot to drop it off last time I saw him. He calls me to tell me he's heading over there right now to get it.
I didn't logout of my computer. I do that whenever I know he's coming by to watch the kids since I am auto-logged to this forum and a mama's forum I post on. I'm paranoid he's going to go on my computer and look for stuff, I'm feeling like what I ought to do is leave work right now and head home.
Would you?
I didn't logout of my computer. I do that whenever I know he's coming by to watch the kids since I am auto-logged to this forum and a mama's forum I post on. I'm paranoid he's going to go on my computer and look for stuff, I'm feeling like what I ought to do is leave work right now and head home.
Would you?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
I would do it rather than suffer the anxiety of wondering what's going to become of it. Then, I would place a password on your operating system so the whole thing can't be used without your permission.
I had the same anxiety when living with my XABF. If I got up from the computer at night to go to the bathroom, I would return to find him on it. I would have a complete nervous breakdown every time wondering if I remember to shut down my web pages knowing it would set him off if he read my postings here no matter what I said or didn't say about him.
Good luck to you!!
Alice
I had the same anxiety when living with my XABF. If I got up from the computer at night to go to the bathroom, I would return to find him on it. I would have a complete nervous breakdown every time wondering if I remember to shut down my web pages knowing it would set him off if he read my postings here no matter what I said or didn't say about him.
Good luck to you!!
Alice
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: In the barn
Posts: 324
Well, I came home. He wasn't here when I got here, but I have a 45 minute commute, so who knows? If he was on my computer he covered his tracks.
I was out in the backyard with the dogs just now thinking about it. What upset me is that he might see what I've written here or on another private forum about our relationship. What he would be looking for is evidence that I have a boyfriend or had an affair, which evidence is nonexistent because I did not. If he came here and read what I had written he would be angry and confrontational (or at least I imagine he would) and I would not want to deal with that...BUT...then I thought, "well, SO WHAT if he read what I wrote? I've done nothing wrong." And even more to the point, if he read what I have written, all I have done is written about MY experience. If he read it and didn't like what he saw, that would be HIS problem, NOT MINE. I wouldn't even have to discuss it with him, let him stew if he wanted to.
So now I feel better even though I'm pretty sure he didn't do anything. And less worred about what might happen in the future.
I was out in the backyard with the dogs just now thinking about it. What upset me is that he might see what I've written here or on another private forum about our relationship. What he would be looking for is evidence that I have a boyfriend or had an affair, which evidence is nonexistent because I did not. If he came here and read what I had written he would be angry and confrontational (or at least I imagine he would) and I would not want to deal with that...BUT...then I thought, "well, SO WHAT if he read what I wrote? I've done nothing wrong." And even more to the point, if he read what I have written, all I have done is written about MY experience. If he read it and didn't like what he saw, that would be HIS problem, NOT MINE. I wouldn't even have to discuss it with him, let him stew if he wanted to.
So now I feel better even though I'm pretty sure he didn't do anything. And less worred about what might happen in the future.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 247
Everytime I log off here, I clear my history. I just don't trust him at all.
I would have come home just as you did. I agree that you have done nothing wrong, and its his problem, but why open a can of worms?
I would have come home just as you did. I agree that you have done nothing wrong, and its his problem, but why open a can of worms?
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Originally Posted by Cowgirl1265 
, if he read what I have written, all I have done is written about MY experience. If he read it and didn't like what he saw, that would be HIS problem, NOT MINE. I wouldn't even have to discuss it with him, let him stew if he wanted to.
less worred about what might happen in the future.
less worred about what might happen in the future.
Good recovery work Cowgirl!
Your computer
Your home
Your feelings
No explanation required
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 100
I know that this isn't easy, but you haven't done anything wrong. To hell with what he thinks. He has no business on your computer and you don't own him an explaination.
He should have had his mail forwarded to his new address. He's supposed to be a grown man and you are not his momma. If he says anything about how your living your life, next time throw his damned mail in the trash.
He should have had his mail forwarded to his new address. He's supposed to be a grown man and you are not his momma. If he says anything about how your living your life, next time throw his damned mail in the trash.
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