AH complains about lack of intimacy...
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 277
AH complains about lack of intimacy...
I almost had to keep from laughing.
Who the heck wants to be intimate with a drunk?
He didn't like the counselor because she only wanted to address his drinking and not our intimacy issues.
It is amazing to see such an intelligent guy unable to connect the dots.
Anyone else have similar discussions?
Who the heck wants to be intimate with a drunk?
He didn't like the counselor because she only wanted to address his drinking and not our intimacy issues.
It is amazing to see such an intelligent guy unable to connect the dots.
Anyone else have similar discussions?
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 277
Originally Posted by Bucyn 
OMG YES!
I only had two conversations with him about it, because it occured to me even if he stopped drinking, I still wouldn't want him because he was such a cringing, pusillanimous momma's boy..
I only had two conversations with him about it, because it occured to me even if he stopped drinking, I still wouldn't want him because he was such a cringing, pusillanimous momma's boy..
I still just shake my head in disbelief at the whole thing. He couldn't believe I didn't even want to be touched when he was wasted this weekend. Um, helloooOoOoO?
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
Good letter.
Yes, I think my soon to be xah still thinks that if I had sex whenever he wanted our marriage would be saved, perfect, that is all it needs, the divorce is all my fault.
I can't stand him and when I feel the agony of this year may consume me or that I won't survive the stress the next two months may bring I just remember to thank the heavens that I never have to share a house or bed with him again. I don't have to put up with 2 seconds of his harassing, whining, following, or complaining about his 'needs' ever again. I can erase those things from my personal map - forever.
Yes, I think my soon to be xah still thinks that if I had sex whenever he wanted our marriage would be saved, perfect, that is all it needs, the divorce is all my fault.
I can't stand him and when I feel the agony of this year may consume me or that I won't survive the stress the next two months may bring I just remember to thank the heavens that I never have to share a house or bed with him again. I don't have to put up with 2 seconds of his harassing, whining, following, or complaining about his 'needs' ever again. I can erase those things from my personal map - forever.
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 277
Originally Posted by Thumper
Good letter.
Yes, I think my soon to be xah still thinks that if I had sex whenever he wanted our marriage would be saved, perfect, that is all it needs...
Yes, I think my soon to be xah still thinks that if I had sex whenever he wanted our marriage would be saved, perfect, that is all it needs...
Ugh.
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: east siiiide
Posts: 254
if it makes you feel any better, whenever my husband's lack of responsibility, drinking, smoking, or any negative trait comes up, he will retort with
"I need a wife who will PUT OUT"
what are we, 15?? It's gone much further than that too, he's made fun of me sexually, my body, and all sorts of intimate things (and I have to say I am not unattractive and think I have a darn good body!) but he wants me to feel bad about myself. My response is, "Is that supposed to turn me on?"
Sorry but I don't want to sleep with a man who smells of booze, breath like an ashtray, gut from the beer, lasts 20 seconds with a halfie who picks on ME for my bedside manner.
Of course they have needs, so do we, but they aren't doing anything about ours, are they?
"I need a wife who will PUT OUT"
what are we, 15?? It's gone much further than that too, he's made fun of me sexually, my body, and all sorts of intimate things (and I have to say I am not unattractive and think I have a darn good body!) but he wants me to feel bad about myself. My response is, "Is that supposed to turn me on?"
Sorry but I don't want to sleep with a man who smells of booze, breath like an ashtray, gut from the beer, lasts 20 seconds with a halfie who picks on ME for my bedside manner.
Of course they have needs, so do we, but they aren't doing anything about ours, are they?
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 63
We're back in that place again. Even though he got sober and things got better between us and he felt better and everything... he can't see that his drinking again is causing it to all fall apart again. He can't possibly remember all of the mean things he says and does and still expect me to be ready and willing when just because he's taken his cialis. Maybe he doesn't remember. Maybe he doesn't care. I don't know. I don't even care. I'm perfectly capable of being his willing little nympho. I just want him to be nice.
I don't know how many times I've said, "all you have to do is be nice."
He's hasn't been able to be civil for more than 48 hours, let alone nice, in a month. And now he's mad because he hasn't been getting any. I think he just want another excuse to drink... I suppose it's just a viscious cycle of an alcoholic life.
I don't know how many times I've said, "all you have to do is be nice."
He's hasn't been able to be civil for more than 48 hours, let alone nice, in a month. And now he's mad because he hasn't been getting any. I think he just want another excuse to drink... I suppose it's just a viscious cycle of an alcoholic life.
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1
My husband's body odor and breath are so bad from daily drinking all day long, there's no way I'd consider having sex with him. When he asks me why we're not sleeping together I tell him his mistress is alcohol. When he gets rid of her, he can have me back.
Talking from my end doesn't do any good but he sure has the guts to tell me that I don't love him any more. He also blames his drinking on me because he's so alone now.
He sweats out the alcohol all night and our highly expensive mattress, sheets, and pillows are all ruined. He can sleep on that $100 pillow with leftover alcohol spit until hell freezes over.
We'll leave the rest of my disgust and anger for another forum.
Talking from my end doesn't do any good but he sure has the guts to tell me that I don't love him any more. He also blames his drinking on me because he's so alone now.
He sweats out the alcohol all night and our highly expensive mattress, sheets, and pillows are all ruined. He can sleep on that $100 pillow with leftover alcohol spit until hell freezes over.
We'll leave the rest of my disgust and anger for another forum.
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 82
Originally Posted by ColorMeRed
Talking from my end doesn't do any good but he sure has the guts to tell me that I don't love him any more. He also blames his drinking on me because he's so alone now.
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