Nightmare21

I’ve been pushing my husband to go to counseling with me. I’m really considering seeing the last therapist our daughter went to. He has agreed to go but seems to be having a problem fitting it into his schedule. He also says it’s too soon for us to seek counseling and he doesn’t like talking about our daughter. But NOW seems like a better time more then ever to get professional help.

Friday afternoon my husband decided to go to a friend’s house for a few drinks. I was nervous and talked to him about his drinking. He promised me that he wouldn’t let it go out of hand again and since his friends are aware of what happened to him last week I was sure they’d monitor his drinking too. The night went on and about 3am I heard his friends’ car pull up. My husband walked up to the door with his friend and tried to open the door. I rushed to make myself presentable and went to the door to make sure everyone was okay. Turns out my husband got carried away yet again. His friend lives on the 9th floor of an apartment complex. After a night of drinking, my husband got the urge to stand on the railing of his friends’ balcony, jump of and catch a nearby flagpole. He said he didn’t care if he lived or died. He was very close to actually going on with the act and his friend had a heck of a time restraining him. Luckily, his friend was able to calm my husband down and decided to take him home. His friend claims my husband didn’t have that much to drink. I kind of have a feeling he drank more before actually going to his friends house. He says he didn’t though.

It’s getting tenser in the house now. I’ll continue to push therapy but if things don’t change I might have to leave myself

Pelican

Please keep your plan to see a counselor. Do this for yourself.

I am thankful for my recovery journey. I am thankful for each day that I am able to log onto SR and give back support that was so freely given to me. Some days I still come here and read, but I am not able to offer support. Those days, I need to take care of myself. I respect my feelings and instincts and try to nurture myself when needed. I learned that here.

Some kind soul here gave the illustration of being on a airplane trip. Before takeoff the flight attendants give a safety talk. Part of that talk involves using oxygen masks in the event of an emergency. They advise passengers to secure their own oxygen masks before they attempt to assist another passenger. It is not unkind to take care of yourself in a crisis before you offer support to another.

It would be wonderful if your husband chooses to join you. Maybe he will decide to at the last minute, but maybe he will not. It is his choice.

Please continue to take care of yourself. We care about you.

Dee74

I really agree with Pelican, Nightmare.

What you can do right now is to make sure you're being taken care of.
Counsellors add that extra tier of support - and no support is ever unwelcome in times of sadness.

You and your husband have my prayers
D

MeHandle

calling 911 if you believe he "might" harm himself,( such as what he said and the action he took at his friends apartment) will force the issue into a psyc evaluation as there is at least a mandatory holding time and of course because it is necessary when it appears he may harm himself.