Stressed?? Have A Drink!!?

Old 11-23-2009, 10:08 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: east siiiide
Posts: 254
I can sort of relate, what gets me most is when someone says "I NEED a drink" because I guess I've heard that so many times from AH, that he NEEDS it, or rather also "I deserve" (a few beers, a drink, etc.)...

I personally still choose to drink on occasion, and since I have had to get out of my house a lot lately, I have been spending more time out which frequently involves meeting someone for a drink or going out with friends. I can separate the fact that when I drink with my friends or choose to have a beer at home after work that I can stop after one, or two or three, whenever I choose. That I don't do it to get wasted and that I'm not caught in its grips.

When I'm around my AH I don't like to drink, because it disgusts me seeing him chain-drink and chain-smoke all day. I'd imagine if I were with him for more years I might eventually not want to drink ever again too.

But yeah, I get the same cringe when I hear the reasons why people drink, and it turns me off to people who talk about drinking all the time.
honoryourself is offline  
Old 11-23-2009, 10:33 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 390
I was right alongside AH in our university years, beer/wine in hand, and for many years after. We were partiers, our friends were partiers. But some of us grew out of it and it made apparent that AH was having trouble. We had a daughter 2 years ago and my moderate alcohol consumption went to 0 in a flash. Since then, it's remained. I too cringed whenever a can popped, started to despise the very thought of it. Since having my daughter and especially in this first year of AH's sobriety, I can count on one hand how many times I've had a single glass of wine. Mostly because I was put off by it because of what it did to us. But now, I feel that it's healthy for me to engage in having a glass if that's what I want at the moment, even if he's present. Not doing so would be just like me NOT drinking to try and get him not to in our past life. I am sensitive and supporting in the fact that we do not keep it in the house, nor do we serve it when people are over, but I won't deprive myself if that's my wish at the moment. He has to find his path, and if me having a drink would spiral him down the wrong path, it wouldn't be my fault and it means he hasn't found his recovery.
I recently was downtown once a week for a night class, and would walk by several bars to the school. Just the smell of the boozy, smoky clubs gets under my skin, and I too can't imagine how big we as a society make this stuff, and how stupid we truly become after a few too many. And looking back I can't even believe how our university sponsored events for us with booze and how ugly and out of control it got in some cases. But it's not going to go away so I won't stress too heavily about it. I'll do what I can in my own bubble and to bring my daughter up educated about the stuff.
AH has lots of trouble because he's a social guy. How could he go out with the guys after a softball game and not have beer and wings? Or to the office xmas party? Guys especially can get ribbed; I know back in school when a friend lowered his consumption all the boys got on his case and called him 'high and mighty'. All jokes and joshing and fun, but this is the reality. AH has done well in deflecting the comments by saying he's a new dad and his 'old life' doesn't mix well with the new. Fair enough. He's also much more into sports now, so I told him he can always tell people that his new fit self also can't get back into bad habits. But I agree it's difficult. Some member on this forum once said that it's amazing how it seems ok that we see a friend stumble out of a bar wasted and disgusting, yet feel weird when same friend would say they are a recovering A.
silkspin is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:03 PM.