Checking in
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Checking in
Hi Everybody!
Got back from the conference Monday, am trying to recover. I hate flying. It was amazing and I found the woman I want to work for. Am begging her to hire me. Non-profit work is tough, there's really no money, but I can fund raise my position. She is the only person, an attorney, fighting for reproductive rights of women of color affected by the drug war. That Supreme Court ruling in October that it's unconstitutional to shackle women prisoners giving birth was all her doing. She's amazing and I want to be a part of what she's doing.
Which leads me to my all important SR point--I am sooo grateful to be falling back in love with my own life again. Not focusing on AH. Of course, he's falling all over himself wanting to be a part of my life now that I'm emotionally unavailable, but I dont' care.
I was here once, ok maybe four times before. Yes, I slip and go back to that place where I am hurt and angry and wanting him to love me without acknowledging that he's incapable of loving anyone. Choosing to stay in denial.
Mainly I'm grateful for the detachment this trip has given me. Oh, I'm so envious of folks who can walk away from relationships without the chains of shared custody. But this is my path. I can do it. I can detach and still see him on a regulary basis. I am strong and powerful and can do anything, with the possible exception of rerouting the dryer hose...
Hugs, hope everyone is working all their stuff out. Keep the faith!
Got back from the conference Monday, am trying to recover. I hate flying. It was amazing and I found the woman I want to work for. Am begging her to hire me. Non-profit work is tough, there's really no money, but I can fund raise my position. She is the only person, an attorney, fighting for reproductive rights of women of color affected by the drug war. That Supreme Court ruling in October that it's unconstitutional to shackle women prisoners giving birth was all her doing. She's amazing and I want to be a part of what she's doing.
Which leads me to my all important SR point--I am sooo grateful to be falling back in love with my own life again. Not focusing on AH. Of course, he's falling all over himself wanting to be a part of my life now that I'm emotionally unavailable, but I dont' care.
I was here once, ok maybe four times before. Yes, I slip and go back to that place where I am hurt and angry and wanting him to love me without acknowledging that he's incapable of loving anyone. Choosing to stay in denial.
Mainly I'm grateful for the detachment this trip has given me. Oh, I'm so envious of folks who can walk away from relationships without the chains of shared custody. But this is my path. I can do it. I can detach and still see him on a regulary basis. I am strong and powerful and can do anything, with the possible exception of rerouting the dryer hose...
Hugs, hope everyone is working all their stuff out. Keep the faith!
Congrats for taking your life back!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 673
Trans, I missed you! I'm so glad you had such a fabulous time! Keep staying strong and positive. I know - oh LORDY I know how hard it can be sometimes. I'm with you, girl, in thought and prayer. HUGS!
Tigg
Tigg
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: In the barn
Posts: 324
Sounds like an incredibly experience at the conference. I hope & pray the opportunity you really want comes through for you.
And I'm very thankful your trip has helped you gain even more detachment. Hooray for detachment!
And I'm very thankful your trip has helped you gain even more detachment. Hooray for detachment!
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Thanks everyone! maintianing the detachment will be challenging, but not if I don't even START down that road of thinking about him, which I did do last night for a minute. But then I turned off my phone and went to bed. Ah, that's better..good nights sleep and ready to tackle the massive housecleaning, unpacking and writing I have to do today.
Hugs!
Hugs!
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